Clothes that you have never been able to wear

(99 Posts)
LifeofPo Wed 17-Apr-13 21:40:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew Thu 18-Apr-13 08:13:52

Anything sleeveless , I look like a wrestler.
Flat ballet pumps, I lose the ability to walk properly.

LifeofPo Thu 18-Apr-13 08:24:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UterusUterusGhali Thu 18-Apr-13 08:36:01

Polo necks.
Any high neck tbh.
Sleeveless dresses.
Short sleeved dresses/tops.
Flared skirts.

Essentially, I can only wear v necked, long sleeved anything.

foxysocks Thu 18-Apr-13 08:51:23

cowl necks

LifeofPo Thu 18-Apr-13 09:01:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lainiekazan Thu 18-Apr-13 09:10:34

the "preppy" look

if I try to wear muted tones of trousers/jacket/top and trainers I don't look like a gamine model from the pages of The White Company but resemble Sandi Toksvig.

almapudden Thu 18-Apr-13 09:26:39

Peplums
Anything empire-line
Tennis dresses
Dropped waists

dontyouwantmebaby Thu 18-Apr-13 10:30:32

- any trousers that have side zips.
- 3/4 length trousers (am too short to wear these & look ridiculous)
- polo necks
- shirts (they gape & I have to buy a massive size to cover boobs which makes me look even larger than I am)
- tiny bolero tops/cardis
- bodycon dresses
- pencil skirts
- skinny low-rise jeans (muffin top, squidgy legs)
- anything strapless/sleeveless (chunky arms)

hmm...think I'll stop there before I get too depressed grin

purplewithred Thu 18-Apr-13 10:34:44

round necks. make me look like my tiny tits are growing out of what should be my waist.

MadBusLady Thu 18-Apr-13 10:40:27

Tunics - they skim straight from boobs (big) to hips (big) and conceal waist (small). I look like Wizbit.

Bracelets and necklaces - too annoying.

Heels over 3 inches - I can walk in them but they make me look like a man.

MadBusLady Thu 18-Apr-13 10:41:58

And any skirt that isn't a pencil makes me look a right heifer.

Basically I need a waist and sharp lines. The "skim over it" thing doesn't work on me.

lljkk Thu 18-Apr-13 10:42:33

Crop tops. Very long waist so they just ride right up over my bosoms.

MadBusLady Thu 18-Apr-13 10:43:27

And yy to masculine looking totally wrong. On me and practically everyone else who isn't a blonde elfin princess. Who's idea was all that shit?

woozlebear Thu 18-Apr-13 10:55:12

Anything with lace - look like a child
Florals - look like a child from the 50s
Masculine tailoring - look like a child who's raided her Dad's wardrobe
Most patterns - look like a child wearing homemade curtain-dress.
Leather jackets - look like a child trying to look cool and failing
Most shoes - get blisters just looking at most things. The ONLY things I can wear without socks/tights without my feet bleeding within an hour are Birkenstocks. And even they require some breaking in.

I yearn to float around in sludge-coloured drapey arty things looking all cool and scandinavian but just cannot carry it off. I'm outdoorsy and tan easily, look v young and fresh faced and have rubbish hair that cannot do anything other than a rather sad bob so I just ruin any attempt at that kind of look. I either look like I've put someone else's clothes on by accident or ruin it by wearing the wrong coat/ shoes / bag. I have gradually come to accept that I look by far my best in simple classic slightly sloaney/sporty attire.

foxysocks Thu 18-Apr-13 11:11:46

heels too. my knees, hips and back scream NO just looking at them.

maybemyrtle Thu 18-Apr-13 13:42:14

This thread has made me chuckle, thank you!

I cannot wear:
shirt dresses
wrap dresses
tucked in shirts
any trousers other than jeans (I'd love to do that rolled up chino thing)
high necked anything
high heels
converse/pump type shoes
drop waist dresses

LifeofPo Thu 18-Apr-13 13:44:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarshaBrady Thu 18-Apr-13 13:58:24

Things so bad that even mentioning them is too close for comfort -

cowl neck
leather jacket

foxysocks Thu 18-Apr-13 14:04:18

oh I love a leather jacket marsha. the only one where we differ!

MarshaBrady Thu 18-Apr-13 14:15:01

lol Foxy so close!

UtterflyButterfly Thu 18-Apr-13 15:21:18

woozlebear my list is almost the same as yours! Except, as I'm rather old, the frills and florals make me look like an old granny rather than a child. I'd love to float around in gauzy drapey things, but I look ridiculous.

Just as well for the fashion industry we're all different!

woozlebear Thu 18-Apr-13 15:49:43

utterfly - I harbour deluded fantasies that I'm going to improve with age until I magically morph into something Judi Dench-esque and have the presence to carry all that sort of stuff off. (This despite the fact I have spent a year growing out a disastrous short cut so bad that I had to get DH to promise to lock me in the house if I ever ever thought about cutting my hair ever again as long as a live.)

Maybe when we get old enough we won't care and we'll live out our final days floating and draping happily and embarassing the grandchildren grin

MadBusLady Thu 18-Apr-13 15:53:50

You see, I'd love to do classic Sloaney/Grace Kelly/Katherine Hepburn without looking like a man.

I am doomed to float about in lacy florals feeling overdressed.

Bumbez Thu 18-Apr-13 16:00:38

Loads of stuff but the main one is turtle neck jumper as I have no neck and massive tits!

toffeefee Thu 18-Apr-13 16:01:20

It's probably easier for me to list what I can wear!

Skinny jeans
Straight leg jeans
7/8 jeans or trousers
Vest tops.....

that's about it.

I'm tall, skinny, flat chested, broad shouldered, long armed, and flat bottomed. It would seem that the clothing industry designs does not design or cut clothes to fit my 'shape'. Am considering running up my own!

I would love to be able to wear one of those wiggle skirts or a fitted top and it actually fit in the right places. Would love a beautiful winter coat that fitted my waist, shoulders and had long enough sleeves. Waisted dresses - ie skater dresses - are more like empire line on me. Love, love, love fashion and clothes, but hate shopping.

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