HoC 'sultry' winter- help for 30 ish year old having a wardrobe disaster?!

[Neena28]

I know there are lots of house of colour experts on here but I'm really struggling with the clothes and my colours.

I'm 31 and a bit heavier than I'd like to be (aiming to lose a stone and a half before real summer, you know that week in sept when it's warmish!). Am currently a size 12/14 and am 5 ft 8. Have largish boobs although am carrying my weight on my stomach at the moment so don't want to accentuate that too much. Am leggy rather than long bodied tho and have super white legs.

My hair is a shoulder length bob with a fringe (which I like) am going quite grey so have coloured it to match my own cool very dark hair. My eyes are deep green and skin very pale.

I am totally stuck. I love make up and have lots that all very me. No problems there at all but clothes are a disaster. I have totally lost my confidence. Feel like I have a wardrobe that doesn't work at all and is unflattering. I work for myself, partly from home and have a ds 12 and a dd7. I feel like I'm letting them down a bit.

Have also been single for nearly 4 years and am fed up and want to look approachable. I don't feel like I do at the moment at all. Obviously don't want to spend a fortune as would like to lose the weight then invest in some more expensive jeans etc however would like to at least look reasonable in the meantime. I would actually push the boat out a bit and say Id love to look a bit more funky really.

Please help am feeling a bit at rock bottom today and am having a massive clear out. Sorry for the epic post but didn't want to not put info info for people to work from if they'd like to help.

Thank you.

[Gillybobs]

I loved having my colours done it is a great start but I must say that the House of Colour style day is probably even more helpful in terms of what to actually buy in your colours.

They assess your body type/shape and personality to figure out your style type (most people are a mixture of two types, for example classic and dramatic) and then give you detailed advice and notes on the styles and shapes of clothes that will best honour your shape and style. The consultants are great and you can email them afterwards with things you are considering buying and they will give you the thumbs up or thumbs down and explain why. They also help you understand accessories that are right for you to finish off your look.

yes it's more money (130ish) but its a damn sight cheaper than spending on clothes you don't wear and can't figure out why.

[FrugalFashionista]

Neena your shape sounds great - you have enough height to carry even more weigth - I wouldn't worry too much about it. Emphasize your legs? (Opaques for now, daily self- tanning moisturizer later?). Have you been fitted for a bra recently? If not, check that you are wearing a correct size by visiting one of the bra threads. Tops will look much better with no extra bulges. Also Google "How to dress an apple" for clothing ideas? Lots of self-styling tips (books, websites etc) on the Frugal thread too.

[Neena28]

Oh will look at frugal thread thank you. I hadn't really considered that I'm an apple now, have always been an hourglass when I was slimmer but you are very right I need to change that mind set and that will help. Thank you frugalfashionista. I am warey of false tan cos of it throwing my colours. I don't really ever tan naturally so feel a bit orange when I've false tanned in the past.

Gillybobs, I've considered the style day a few times but my consultant only does them once in a blue moon and I've been trying to get on on edit 18 months. Can I change consultant I wonder. Do the rules of your type stay regardless of your current shape? Thank you for the recommendation.

I'd like to just look a bit more effortless I suppose I feel like when I try I look super over dressed and never quite 'right'. I often end up dressed in all black and don't think that's probably very welcoming to other people.

[AmberNectarine]

frugal is right, apple easy to dress, think of all the lovely short dresses you can wear in the summer! Old thunder thighs here is very jealous!

Another great look for you might be skinny flares, a loose fit top and a blazer. Or the same with skinnies.

[AmberNectarine]

I'm a sultry winter too by the way and I don't wear an enormous amount of black. Today I'm in a cobalt blue dress. For something less scary charcoal, navy and burgundy are all great on us. Have you tried a scarf in one of the brighter colours in your palette?

[Neena28]

Would a loose fit top not make my stomach look worse tho especially under a blazer? I like the idea of the skinny fit flares though very much. In fact have pinned a few on Pinterest but then lost confidence because of them all being worn with tighter vest tops.

Thank you ambernecterine, any suggestions of things to get me started or places to try?

I am still a little scared of my colours too truth be told I suppose from having negative reactions from trying out lipstick from my ex and mother. I need to try again I think and only have one out the gruesome twosome still around to criticise so will be easier maybe.

[Hopefully]

Neena false tan is (99.9% of the time, IME) warm orange, so you're probably right in feeling a bit 'fake' in it, as someone cool toned.

Second the advice to make sure your bra is the right size - it will make such a difference to how you look and feel if you are currently wearing the wrong size - check the bra intervention thread (on S&B somewhere, I think?) for measuring tips.

Have you approached your consultant about doing a style day? Am surprised she can't fit you in - maybe ask her if she can recommend someone else if she isn't keen on doing them?

I would start by doing a real edit of your wardrobe in terms of colours and what things you like, and what really isn't doing you any favours. Once you know what you're left with, start looking around (Pinterest and Polyvore are good) for outfit ideas you like the look of, and see what you might need to buy to make your current clothes turn into the kind of look you want.

And endeavour to wear some of your colours, either in scarf or t-shirt form, and a lipstick in your colours, as often as possible. It really, honestly, does make a difference (and I speak as someone who laughed in my consultant's face when she first told me that).

[Hopefully]

Oh, and people close to us often react strongly to the lipsticks because it is a change to their long term mental image of you. Persevere and within a week or two they will have 'forgotten' the old mental image and replaced it with the new, better one.

[Neena28]

Did everyone else actually clear out all the 'wrong' stuff?! I have a wardrobe full that looks like its a car boot waiting to happen. All organised by colour and item but nothing actually goes with anything else.

[Hopefully]

Something like this (size up for similar relaxed fit to the model, I reckon) could work well with skinnies. Or these kettlewell tops are quite floaty, if you like things with movement.

[Hopefully]

skinny flares, I meant.

[Hopefully]

I would divide your wardrobe into 'right' and 'wrong' sides, and then start with what's left on the right side. Inevitably (unless you are v rich) you won't be able to toss all the 'wrong' stuff immediately, but make a small commitment not to add to that side, and try to base outfits around the right side as much as possible, especially in terms of tops etc. It is also a good way to get used to seeing which colours work for you, and when you are shopping you can keep the 'right' side in your head as well.

[Neena28]

Oh hopefully thank you.

I have just emailed the lady I saw to ask. So fingers crossed. I've told her I'll put a cheque in the post to book today if she has a free place!

I just feel so confused by it all. When I wear coral I get complimented but that shouldn't Be right and confuses me further. Yet whenever I wear my colours I never ever get a positive comment. I have googled examples of my colours and they are definitely me, no doubt about that.

On the fake tan note, are there any I can try? I can't bear the idea of bearing my whiter than white legs. Don't feel the cold at all so that isn't the problem just feel so self conscious that it isn't a healthy look if that makes sense?

Thank you all for your help. I am googling like a mad thing and making actual notes in a notebook! I need to do something I feel like I'm starting to deliberately avoid people and events because my confidence has disappeared so much.

[Hopefully]

Oh, and it took me about 2 years to completely change over my wardrobe so there was literally nothing left that was wrong. It's almost impossible to make it happen instantly.

And apologies for the 300 one liner posts...

[Neena28]

Wardrobe being moved now! I like that h and m top very much. Which colour would you suggest? I was thinking the blue?

By the way bras are perfect. Very basic plain t shirt bras from bravissimo in nudes and blacks but fit is wonderful. I am a 34f/ 36e in panache and Freya. So yes I agree re bras needing to be good. Am paranoid about saggy boobs as bf both mine and them being big to start so have always been a bit of a bra geek.

[Hopefully]

If people are complimenting you in coral it is probably because it takes over so much that they are only seeing the coral, not you (as a sultry Winter, it is about as far away from 'you' in terms of colouring, as it is possible to get, so probably kind of stands out).

If you really can't bear to go fake tan free, I would get the lightest one you can find (maybe a gradual tan moisturiser? I use the st tropez one in the summer, or that sally hansen spray on legs stuff) and use it on legs only to give them a tiny bit of colour, but not so much that they look obviously browner than your face. Painting your face orange would be a real shame, as sultry winters are an incredibly glamorous species and do not need orange paint (and I assure you, you are a glamorous species, even if you feel a bit bleurgh at the moment)

[Neena28]

I have taken the afternoon off now to get my wardrobe and drawers moved and sorted. The one perk of working alone for myself! Will maybe do a few online orders too so I feel like I'm getting on top of it all.

[Hopefully]

Yay for being a bra geek! So many women wear the wrong size. Mine need all the help they can get after BFing two as well...

Think the blue H&M would be good, looks v cobalt/electric.

[Hopefully]

remember scarves too - either kettlewell, ebay cheapies or posh ones. They will be good for adding in your best colours, and will still fit when you lose the weight.

[Neena28]

I feel more than bleurgh in myself but I can recognise what you say from the images I've googled. I just don't seem to be able to translate that to myself at all. It is hard to feel so negative towards yourself I think.

[Hopefully]

It is hard, and it's a massive change to suddenly give yourself permission to look good and make an effort, and there is all the fear etc etc. If you can force yourself to wear a good colour and slap on some lipstick for a couple of weeks, I guarantee it will become a habit and you will begin to rediscover yourself and your confidence.