Have just received the 'schedule and dress code' for a wedding I'm attending.

[ShowOfHands]

I'm screwed.

I'm seriously screwed.

[reastie]

Come on then, how bad is it what is it?

[DewDr0p]

What on earth does it say? Schedule??

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

[SPBInDisguise]

Does leopard print feature?

[scaevola]

Dress code - wtf? Or is it eg overseas in a different tradition which they are concerned a UK guest might be unaware of?

Schedule (depending on what's in it) might be a good idea, so you know how long you have to get between different parts of the day.

[ivykaty44]

lounge suit? Black tie?

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

ooh, now sometimes i think I would have welcomed a schedule.
it would have been quite handy, for example, to know that at the wedding we attended which started at noon, that there would be 4 hours of dicking around taking photos and "mingling" before we would be offered refreshments. I could have packed some butties and a hip flask.

[LaurieFairyCake]

"Everyone must wear a specific shade of teal green (sample attached) plus a top hat (even the women). The theme will be 'nutty as a fucking fruitcake'. Gift list for a brocante in the South of France to follow. There are no rooms at the clearing in the forest, miles from anywhere for guests but please feel free to bring your own yurt."

[Hopefully]

Charlotte I went to a wedding like that once, at 8.5 months pregnant. I genuinely thought I was going to die.

[Abra1d]

Laurie For one second you had me!

[Trills]

Schedule sounds like a useful thing to send out.

Dress code: come dressed like your favourite soap opera barmaid?

[Moominsarehippos]

Dress code? When the hell did that become a 'thing'?

I'd send the invite back with 'fuck off' written on it. I have no truck with That Sort of Thing. Unless its something like Wizard of Oz, Greese or The Sound of Music themes wedding. Hmmmmm, maybe next time...

[FashionFail]

Between us, we will have something.

Spill ....

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Why are people surprised at a dress code? It is normal to indicate whether a lounge or morning suit are required and whether ladies are supposed to wear hats or just invited to do so - isn't it? Is for every wedding I've been to...

[fossil971]

you know you are completely at liberty to ignore it?

[ShowOfHands]

The schedule is really useful, really, really useful. It's the specifics I'm going to struggle with.

As detailed elsewhere, I have nothing which fits (have lost 3.5 stone and am skint) and this is less a wedding, more a hoopla.

I can manage the day before stuff as that is more casual as dress codes go. The day itself is formal (fascinator or hat required) and heels should be high. I have never worn heels in my life. There are pimms soirees and afternoon garden parties to which I have to wear a semi formal dress (no skirts, should be summery) and men may wear shirt sleeves if warm and shorts if smart.

I own one dress. One dress. No heels. Dress isn't particularly formal.

I don't want to mock or sneer at or ignore or anything else, any of their requests. They are dear, dear friends and their wedding will be brilliant. I just don't know what to do.

DH is a levellers hoodie and tatty jeans type btw. He has work suits though but I don't think they count as formal. He has a dress uniform but that would be a v v v bad idea.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Showy I'm guessing that it isn't a medieval theme otherwise you would be fine. That is always my worry

[LaurieFairyCake]

Dress Code: Pretend you're from Liverpool

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Oh x-posts.

What size feet do you have? Can someone here lend you some shoes?

But actually - WTF are they thinking insisting on heel height? Very rude IMO.

[Poledra]

OMG, it's Showy's yearly S'n'B thread! Along with the crocuses blooming, this tells me it must be Spring.

[ShowOfHands]

Medieval and I'd be there with bells on. Literally.

[LaurieFairyCake]

x-posted, sorry don't mean to mock, thought your were just jesting.

Seriously, what size are you? I have so many frocks and shoes that don't fit I'm sure between us we could find you something.

[Moominsarehippos]

I'm quite disappointed it wasn't 'come as your favourite sandwich'.

[ShowOfHands]

THIS is not my annual S&B thread, this is a serious cry for help. It's not about the clothes. It's about my complete inability to adapt to modern life.

[MirandaWest]

I would have issues with someone dictating the height of my heels. Would make me want to wear Crocs (and I don't even have any).