hypothetically, what do 42-year-old brides with two children wear?

[curryeater]

If:
they are getting married in church
Are short, have stocky legs, red hair, no tan or any likelihood of same, size 12 below 14 on top

Just wondering...

[emsyj]

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&tbo=d&biw=1024&bih=455&tbm=isch&tbnid=aCp-CrjPI7qMVM:&imgrefurl=pinterest.com/jac81/chief-bridesmaid-ideas/&docid=VCZ6e17H_tiPQM&imgurl=media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/upload/119767671309864882_neWvvnLS_b.jpg&w=191&h=293&ei=-zXwUNycFu-20QWPioFY&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=426&vpy=111&dur=159&hovh=235&hovw=152&tx=100&ty=112&sig=107945346174162943221&page=1&tbnh=152&tbnw=96&start=0&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:3,s:0,i:91" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">This!

Well, that would be my choice - but what sort of thing do you like/normally wear?

[curryeater]

Oh wow, that's really cute but I'm afraid it might be too like the sort of thing I had in mind for my dds!

No idea what I usually wear. Right now I am wearing uniqlo jeans with 4 jumpers and a fake fur hat, but that isn't quite the look I am going for.

Do you think one (hypothetically) could wear trousers? like a kind of drapey palazzo pant thing really flat fronted and long over heels? I honestly have awfully thick lower legs, no point in suggesting losing weight as it just won't go from there, they're just like that.

[curryeater]

Agree, white kills me

What sort of shape exists for a dress that is flattering for a big bust, but not "hello boys"?

[emsyj]

You can wear whatever you want, you just need to make sure it fits perfectly. Have you thought about having something made?

A halter neck could be good for a big bust...

Check out some of the big wedding blogs for ideas - lovemydress.net is the biggest, also rocknrollbride.com is popular.

Also be aware that things look totally different on from how they look on hangers/in photos/on models, so go around a few shops (do you want a 'wedding' dress?) and try on things that you might not necessarily like the look of - also try on things suggested by the assistant. I used to sell wedding dresses and people rarely bought the style they initially thought they liked best.

[curryeater]

thanks. that was a fun brief day dream but if I get married it is pretty clear I won't be getting a new dress. the financial reality has just made itself very clear to me
I was going to say "I can't remember the last time I had a new dress" but that is a lie, it was over a year ago for my 40th birthday and I was really fat and I didn't really like it. Still wearing it though, now I don't really like it AND doesn't fit me

[emsyj]

What will your budget be? It might help to get realistic suggestions rather than links to £4k fantasy dresses!

Also, if you wanted a second hand one they are usually very cheap as people are funny about second hand. There's a place in Liverpool called Copplestones that does bankrupt stock and ex-sample dresses, nothing over £300. I've never been there but a friend got her dress there. I don't think it's a luxury shopping experience, but they have a lot of very very reduced price dresses in perfect condition.

[curryeater]

Actually emsy that sounds like a really fun shopping experience!

I don't have a budget. The reality is you can't get married without inviting some people (ok you can but my mum would be really really sad) and you can't invite some people without giving them something to eat and drink and then you look at it all and.... I'm not getting married, am I. the dress is the least of it. I mean if we invited 50 people and gave them a homemade ham sandwich and a glass of wine and a bit of cake each at £3 a head, that would be £150 and we can't even do that, so...

[Cerealqueen]

I'd go vintage!

[IceNoSlice]

You can defo get married if you both want to- loving the MSE and contributions ideas. People will help, for sure! Ooh get married, then come and tell us about it.

Shop assistants don't need to know you have no intention of buying their dresses! Go in and play pretend, get then to show you some lovely flattering dresses to get ideas then eBay or charity shop it up!

[TheFallenNinja]

Knowing smiles

[Pompbear]

Invite your nearest and dearest for a group dinner. Book a restaurant, get married. Arrive at restaurant and suprise n+d. Split the bill. Married!

Ebay and a decent seamstress for a dress. Arrange pretty flowers from supermarket yourself. Practice hair and makeup yourself.... all pretty cheap!

Do it!!!!

[Pompbear]

We did very similar for ours, went for curry and had an amazing day. Everyone loved it and it cost very little

[Pompbear]

Or invite people (by email) to the ceremony and say you'll be booking lunch/dinner somewhere, at xxx cost, and ask everyone to let you know whether the can make both. Honestly real friends won't care! Weddings get so full of poncey crap! We planned ours in a month. No stress, just did it and it was great! Its refreshing not to know 6 months in advance, get the john Lewis gift list etc etc. You don't actually need to spend much to do it and have a great time x

[Levantine]

You could fine a venue where you can do your own catering and ask everyone to bring something special to eat rather than a gift. People would love that. Masssive buffet of delicious home cooked food. Phase eight and monsoon do nice wedding dresses for not very much

[AnaisB]

Oxfam bridal shops are good. Sorry can't link on phone.

[AnaisB]

Also monsoon outlet shops - or the monsoon sale. Go on - get married.

[Murraylover]

Pg9 Letti for inspiration
issuu.com/monsoon-accessorize/docs/bridal_lookbook_ss13_links?mode=mobile
Most wedding cakes start at £150...

[Levantine]

There is a posh M&S iced fruitcake that IS wedding cake. I had it at a christening recently.

[curryeater]

Oh gosh, you are all great, thanks so much.
Feeling better this morning, as you do after a night's sleep, so this has all changed into a fun idea again. Thanks for all the great ideas.
there is some discrepancy between the usual formality of the palaver that surrounds a church wedding, and our budget. But we go to church and should be married in our church so people will just have to deal with whatever cheap and jolly stuff we cobble together around it.
thanks for the positive vibes everyone! really helps.

[IceNoSlice]

We went to a wedding recently where guests brought food. The food was delish - far better than some bland hotel wedding food. Because it is a wedding, no-one wants to bring something rubbish so the guests went all out!

The way they arranged it was they designated someone (bride's sister in this case) in charge of food and guests rang her to discuss what they would bring. This way, if someone really wanted to make their special quiche they could, but the sister could co-ordinate so there was enough variety, savoury/sweet etc. A lot of people said 'what would you like me to bring?'

And because it was the sister (and not the bride herself), then the bride didn't need to worry about the food on the actual day.

They did BYO on booze too. No-one minded in the slightest. It was nice to drink exactly what you wanted without having to pay hotel bar prices TBH.

Oh, have a lovely day OP.

[KatyS36]

Just an idea, but if you know what sort of dress you want how about putting a post on your local freecycle asking for one?

I'm suggesting this as I don't want to keep my dress, but I want it to go to a home where its loved, and if I heard of someone like you you could have it! (unfortunatly it is white!)

Definatly suggest going into bridal shops. I went into about eight to try things and they weren't pushy. They know if you are going to buy new you will want to shop around, and they won't know you aren't.

Good luck and enjoy.

Katy