Depressing belly

(8 Posts)
Bellybello Thu 22-Nov-12 20:47:43

Hello, looking for a little advise and a shoulder to whimper on...

Had my lovely second ds just over a year ago, my belly remains round, almost pointy, the bulk is above the belly button. I look like 6 months pregnant really.

I thought with time and dieting it would go, but it's there and not budging.

The physio I saw yesterday agreed its diastasis recti, 2 fingers, which is not awful but my massive belly is.

I'm not a particularly vain person, I'm happily accepting droopy breasts (hurray for bras) and flabby thighs (trousers are good for that) but my belly is there and makes me look and feel old, older than my 37 years.

I was used to hold it in, but now that the physio said I shouldn't engage my upper abs at all, I feel even worse as when I met it all hang out I look absolutely Santa like!

I hate my body, don't want to take my children swimming, the bulge feels painful like a knot in my belly, I still dress as if I'm pregnant.

Reading online, I saw that many doubt whether exercise can help at all. I never thought I would consider plastic surgery but even if I would, how could I afford £5000?

I really feel like my years as an active, attractive to my husband woman are well and truly over. He loves me but I hate how I look and feel.

Sorry for the massive post sad

MrsWolowitz Thu 22-Nov-12 21:16:48

Oh bless you.

It is upsetting. I had twins and had diastis recti and skin like crepe paper. I actually had to tuck it into my pants and would sometimes catch it in my trouser flies - ouch.

I ended up having a tummy tuck. It is very painful and expensive, I have a huge scar from hip to hip but I haven't regretted it for a second.

People will no doubt be along to say that you should get some counselling to boost your confidence and learn to love yourself etc. I didn't have massive confidence issues, I had a tummy that looked pregnant and caused a lot of discomfort.

For me, surgery was the right choice. If you do decide to go down the surgery route then do a lot of research and choose your surgeon carefully. Also, don't get yourself in financial trouble for it. I took out a loan but made sure that I could afford the repayments before I took it out, which meant waiting a while.

I'm sure your husband still fancies you but I know how you feel. Its not about what you look like, its how you feel. I could feel my tummy flopping around when I ran or had sex (tmi) and it felt disgusting and so uncomfortable.

Sorry for the long rambly post! Just think about it a lot and you are really not alone in hating your tummy, not alone at all!

Bellybello Thu 22-Nov-12 22:16:42

Thanks for understanding MrsWolowitz!

You're right, no amount of counselling would make me like this little mountain - damn it u want to see my bellybutton again! angry

Bellybello Thu 22-Nov-12 22:17:22

Not u not u, I - stupid phone is ridiculing me blush

Firsttimer7259 Fri 23-Nov-12 13:48:06

Have you had a look at remedial exercises for a diastasis? Could the physio suggest anything? Things like the tupler technique etc. I ahve a similar problem and am finding slow improvement with weightloss and pilates, specific exercises trying to hold the area back together. I also have uterine fibroids whihc adds to the bulk in the abdominal area pushing everything out. Things are improving, altho some of the skin damage will not be reversible, its crepey and will stay that way I expect.
I also find I need to get this to something I can live with and I dont think Im vain either. If in a year after I reach my goal weight and trying non surgical techniques to improve it I guess I will investigate a tummy tuck.
Ask your GP, physio etc, investigate a bit and consider your options. I must say things look a lot better now that they did 2 years ago on me.

Moredofbumsnet Fri 23-Nov-12 13:55:38

I have been doing tupler exercises for about 6 months and have got to the stage where I don't actually just look pg,just fat around the belly. They are very easy to do. I just flicked through the book and got started. I am almost at the stage where I might consider going swimming.

BrightenMyNorthernSky Fri 23-Nov-12 14:08:16

I would second Tuppler exercises. I had bad diastasis recti after DC2, and a couple of months of these exercises really helped. Unfortunately I then gave up on them (baby stopped sleeping and finding the time was hard) - there had been so much improvement though that I felt that things were good enough. I'm still a bit self conscious about my tummy (just a bit though - will go swimming and wear fitted tops, but do suck it in a bit then!) and about to start the my second Tuppler abs attack (I was also give physio exercises, but the Tuppler technique was much more effective).

Bellybello Fri 23-Nov-12 20:01:44

Thank you all for your recommendations, I'll try the Tupler for a few months then and hope for non surgical improvement. Then I will reconsider it...

It feels almost ironic how I used to think tummy tucks unnecessary and ultra vain and now it's come back to bite me (in the belly)

You have all cheered me up. Thank you!

smile

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