Rant. Hair. frizzy. why don't hairdressers listen

(126 Posts)
kelpeed Sat 06-Oct-12 04:49:15

My hair was cut yesterday. It is thick and wavy and turns to frizz when short.

I provided a photo showing a cut like Jo Grant's in Dr Who (Jon Pertwee). a bit layered, medium longish, and with each of the layers curling with their own length.

I asked that NO thinning scissors or razors be used, just the scissors. I also said I'm not going to be a slave to a hairdryer, so please cut the hair so it will be low maintainence. But did they listen?

I came out looking like Jennifer Anniston. AGAIN. With wispy ends and edges and hair all blow-dried straight.

Once it is washed I will look like a witch, with lots of ends flying in all directions. I will then wear it up in a bun for work, or a ponytail, so it looks relatively neater, and then it will be at least another year before I brave going into another hairdresser.

I hate this. It happens most of the time.

Hairdressers always bloody whip out the thinning scissors, and trim the edges around my face and at the ends so it looks and feels like I have feathers. They say the thinning scissors are important to make sure the ends arent noticed, and I get made to feel like I'm some sort of lower life form if I don't agree. I have never been to the same hairdresser twice in the last 10 years because I end up with this awful Jennifer cut.

I always end up asking myself these questions afterwards.

Why do hairdressers use the thinning scissors on curly/wavy/frizz-prone hair?

Why don't hairdressers bloody listen ? Or- what should i be doing differently besides relying on photoes which they seem to ignore ? Are there any special terms that I need to use to get them to listen apart from NOT the Jennifer A. look? I repeat-Showing a photo does NOT work.

What it is with the feathery jagged edge ends? I dont like it (on me).

Why do they expect me to blow dry my hair to make it flat when I have clearly wavy/curly hair?

When are teach hairdressers going to learn new haircuts, besides the Jennifer?

If any MNetters have answers to these please share - but not if it involves using a blowdryer or spending money on antifrizz/keratin stuff for my hair.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 09-Oct-12 11:13:25

Rhubarb how can you not use shampoo? shock How does your hair get clean? <head itches at mere thought>

I knew a girl with incredibly curly hair who used to leave the conditioner in after shampooing and just let it dry on her hair. That seemed to work for her.

I would love to have a "head full of tumbling curls" rather than the part frizz/part straightish excuse for a barnet I've got sad. I think some straight heads possibly have an idealised view of curly hair!

UltraBOF Tue 09-Oct-12 11:36:49

You can wash with a silicone-free conditioner- rubbing at your scalp under warm water washes it just fine. Many curlies find that the SLS in most shampoos is simply too drying. I did it myself for months, but I now just use an SLS-free shampoo.

Solo Tue 09-Oct-12 11:48:31

Kelpeed where abouts are you? I've had success with several hairdressers. I have curly hair, but it's not thick.
My favourite ever hairdresser moved away to the Rutland area. Another lives in the North Kent area and works from home and recently, my 17 year old niece cuts mine. She's in her final year at college, but she seems to have a natural flair for cutting all hair, curly or straight. She cuts for pocket money at the moment and is in North West Kent if that's anywhere near you.

I have recently discovered Twisted Sista in one of the pound shops for shampoo, conditioner and curl activator. Love it on my hair.

Rhubarb are you the curly red head? if so...gorgeous locks! not sure I could go shampoo free though.

mistlethrush Tue 09-Oct-12 12:05:01

I've not shampooed mine for <hmm counts the weeks> about possibly 8 weeks - and tend to shampoo infrequently unless I've been swimming. The Naked Rescue conditioner is great. I only do it once a week or so though as it takes so long to dry and I don't like wandering around with wet hair for too long too often.

THERhubarb Tue 09-Oct-12 12:32:13

Hot water and conditioner will wash your hair just fine. If you get it right with the wash then you won't need to use that many products on your hair and it's the sheer volume of products used that can weigh hair down and make it greasy and grubby. Shampoo strips the natural oil of hair and dries it out, plus if you live in a hard water area, this is bad news.

Most people only leave conditioner in for a minute or so and that's not enough to replace those essential oils. Instead wash hair thoroughly in hot water with conditioner and rinse. Then let it dry naturally and apply a spot more conditioner to the ends of your hair whilst it's still damp. Comb through and style.

Solo - well I do have curly hair and I guess it is a bit reddish, but not sure if I'm the one you mean.

skandi1 Tue 09-Oct-12 12:47:35

The answer is a blunt cut. No layers, feathering, "softening" no nothing! BLUNT!

I don't have thick hair but very fine hair and if a hairdresser does the Jennifer aniston on me, it turns into thin wispy frizz crap which looks worse than awful and is impossible to style.

It took me a long time to work out the blunt cut thing. But now that I have I don't have any such problems any more. It also makes your hair easier and quicker to style. Plus the cut last longer before I need the hair dresser again.

I ask for square cut layers - same as blunt cut I think. no feathering, no thinning scissors nada! My hair is long, thick and sort of curly. A good hairdresser makes a world of difference.

mistlethrush Tue 09-Oct-12 13:08:04

No layers with mine! You must be joking! Even without a blowdry I'd be struggling to get through the door. <OK, perhaps its not that bad, but if its all the same length at the bottom its a good 6" wide/deep which looks as though I've got a tent perched on my head>

Solo Tue 09-Oct-12 14:05:59

Rhubarb, did you go to the London Christmas meet? if yes, then it's you, if not then no! smile

My Dd has very long, curly hair and I usually trim it once a year by washing, conditioning, adding a heat protector and straightening it before trimming 2-3 inches off. I'm toying with the idea of letting my niece do it this time, although I'm not sure as I don't want layers in it, just a straight cut.
Also, Dd's hair is washed once every 3 to 4 weeks only and as it is quite dry, I condition it thoroughly. I do know that quite a lot of people with curls leave conditioner in and it looks fine. Not sure how it would look on blond hair though.

THERhubarb Tue 09-Oct-12 15:47:49

Might have done....... blush

Solo, I personally wouldn't leave the conditioner in as it can weigh down hair and make it hang limp. Rinse out and end with a blast of cold water to stimulate the hair follicles and give her hair body. Then rub a little conditioner on the palms of your hands and smooth over her hair, combing it right in from roots to tips.

You can also try olive oil in a spray mixed with warm water (just a drop of olive oil is needed) and spray this evenly over dry hair to revitalise it.

mathanxiety Tue 09-Oct-12 17:18:09

Scrambling -- you wash the toddler's hair with conditioner only. Conditioner contains glycerin, which will clean nicely, and really all you want to wash is the scalp, which you do with your fingertips and a little of the conditioner. Then you rinse the conditioner through the hair, and to dry you very gently scrunch it with a soft, dry towel. Do not comb it through -- ideally you would be able to get your fingers through it while it is coated in conditioner. This is usually enough for detangling and loose hair removal purposes. You can leave some conditioner in if you like.

Once the hair has been gently scrunched to get excess moisture out you can apply a small amount of clear hair gel that you have rubbed briskly between your hands and preferable diluted a bit. Look for gel with PVP or VP in it to add shine. Avoid -cone ingredients and also colours. Scrunch a little gel into the hair and then let it dry naturally. It's important not to brush it or comb it.

I started doing this with DD3's hair when she was 6 or 7 and she has not used shampoo for about 8 years now. It made getting out to school so much easier when there was no hair brushing involved.

Ariel -- your head and hair can be perfectly clean using only conditioner. It takes a week or so for your natural oil balance to find itself when you first dump shampoo but after that you will be fine. Curly hair needs moisture, it doesn't need drying shampoo. The softness comes when it is sufficiently moisturised.

You can use food grade glycerin (from cake decorating shops) diluted in a spray bottle to perk up your curls mid afternoon.

libelulle Wed 10-Oct-12 22:00:34

Coming slightly late to this but I have a question... what about dandruff with the no shampoo method? blush It sounds like just what my hair needs, but my scalp really can't imagine ditching the head and shoulders...

THERhubarb Thu 11-Oct-12 09:36:15

Isn't dandruff largely caused by the drying effects of shampoo? If left, your hair follicles would naturally secrete oils to keep your scalp healthy. It's shampoo which strips your hair of these oils and therefore dries your scalp.

It may take a few weeks for your hair to start producing natural oils again, but if you ditch the shampoo then I'm thinking that you will see a reduction in dandruff and your scalp will feel less irritated.

libelulle Thu 11-Oct-12 10:18:34

It sounds good - just the transition stage that's worrying mesmile

THERhubarb Thu 11-Oct-12 10:27:42

Well it's not like you aren't washing your hair at all though is it? You ARE washing it, it WILL be clean and conditioned and your scalp will feel a whole lot better!

Try it - do a blog on it to keep yourself focused and note the results.

libelulle Thu 11-Oct-12 13:18:07

Ok, I'm game! So now to find a conditioner that doesn't contain silicone. Are there any good recommendations for supermarket buys? I'm not quite up to buying more specialist stuff from the internet in case it ends up stuffed to the back of the cupboard as usual grin

THERhubarb Thu 11-Oct-12 13:22:31

Don't forget to mention me in your blog now!

I use any old conditioner to be honest, but mathanxiety recommends glycerin based conditioner.
I've found kids conditioner to be good and it smells lovely!

BerryLellow Thu 11-Oct-12 13:37:05

Head and Shoulders can actually GIVE you dandruff - it makes the skin on your scalp thinner and more sensitive.

Woozley Thu 11-Oct-12 13:58:35

I used to spend ages blow drying my hair properly and it still looked frizzy. All I do now is comb two squirts of the orange frizz ease through it after towel drying (and I stick it in one of those head towel things which dry it quickly rather than an ordinary towel) using a wide comb. Then I rough dry it. Then I give it a good brush, until it looks shiny and smooth, lifting it a bit using a denman soft-ish bristle brush or tangle tamer.

Also I leave my hair as long as possible to wash, certainly not every day. I just use Tresemme colour care shampoo and conditioner. About every six weeks I colour my hair with Nutrisse cream in Macadamia. Stops the extra frizzy greys coming through! I have it trimmed every two - three months. I keep it long (down to my bra strap now), with a few long layers to stop it from looking triangular!

mathanxiety Thu 11-Oct-12 17:37:34

I always thought dandruff was caused by a fungus that feeds on skin oils. I know if you ever get an orangey coloured mould/fungal growth on bathroom grout you can eliminate it with head and shoulders and a toothbrush.

I use Tresemme conditioner myself. It fits my budget and does an ok job.

er1507 Thu 11-Oct-12 18:33:36

as long as your using a mild shampoo then it's fine to wash every day.* salon shampoos really are best. My hair is curly and my daughter is growing a little Afro, I'll wash ours twice a week at most and use a leave in conditioner everyday to revive and define the curls.

Hairdressers aren't taught curly cuts and straights cuts. It's using the right layering method that's key.

OP having curly hair and wanting it to look like the pics linked everyday without styling is like someone with poker straight hair wanting a curly do but they don't want to curl/tong it at home.

er1507 Thu 11-Oct-12 18:41:43

*baby shampoo doesn't not count as mil shampo. It's actually more drying for your hair as it is ph balanced for your eyes and not scalp.

Real dandruff, not the small flaky bits like on the head and shoulders advert, that's dry scalp. Real dandruff is quite crusty and if you were to peel it away from the scalp it smells!

cutting hair blunt means that your not softening the layers and your not removing much of the weight from the hair. You can still have layers that are cut blunt. If you don't have layers then you just cutting the actual length of the hair blunt.

janek Sat 13-Oct-12 08:32:11

I use dr organics conditioner, which is -cone-free. I have also used faith in nature conditioner. The dr organics is available from holland and barratt, faith in nature is from healthfood shops normally.

Oil is a great product, kerastase do a lovely one.
Essentially those cuts are all layered as per the Jen one however sounds as though its been over texturised. So next time just ask for a basic cut to keep weight in it, no texturising

urbanhaircarelondon Fri 22-Nov-13 10:25:55

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