Late 40s, menopausal and ... fabulous?

[SweetDCofMine]

I have found the Late 40s, menopausal and fading thread very revealing, sad, poignant... It's actually very helpful to 'hear' what's going to happen to us so it has been very informative in that respect. However it's got me thinking that there just has to be some positive aspects to all the changes. I have found for example that I am not as harsh with myself as I used to be, for example I'll wear my legs bare if it's hot, whilst in my 30's I would have always worn tights unless my legs looked absolutely pristine. Also I have become a little more 'dearing' with accessories. My 11 year old DN made me a lovely but very kitsch knitted brooch and I pinned it to my coat and wore it with pride. Silly but liberating. What about you? Do tell.

[biryani]

Interesting thread, this, potentially!! Agree that you can perhaps get away with being slightly dottier as you get older, but IMHO there's a fine line between the "liberated" sort of dotty and "retiring-to-the-bottom-of-the-garden-talking-to-the-roses" sort of dotty.

My positives:
not feeling the need to prove myself in terms of achivement.
not caring if I fit in or not
not caring about being fashionable.

My negatives:

still caring whether men find me attractive.
attracting the attention of men old enough to be my father (well, almost!!)
having to try harder and harder, only to achieve a faded version of my old self.

Sorry!!

[SweetDCofMine]

Thank you biryani! Loving your positives.
Come on ladies, talk to us about what's wonderful about being over 40!!

[doglover]

I completely agree, Biryani. I've so much more confidence now (46) than 10 or 20 years ago. I've got a school reunion in 6 weeks and am actually looking forward to it!! This would never have been the case a decade ago! I know what suits me and feel that I wear things well - no apologies if it isn't universally popular. If people don't like me, that's fine: I don't have to like everyone either. It's really quite liberating!

[cruelladepoppins]

Same here, wear what I want to - much more daring with colour now than when I was younger.

Also my skin is better.

Downside is that my children are old enough to have an opinion on what I look like!

[teahouse]

I had the operation that removes the lining of my womb and am on HRT so have no periods and no period pain, and no menopause symptoms - total joy!

I'm also more confident in some areas of my life - although I'm still single so it's not confidence in my looks or personality. I think it's more confidence in beiing alone and knowing I can manage pretty well.

I feel I know my own mind more now too and care less if I make a mistake or say something out of turn.

There are some great things about being over 40, including embracing the cynicism (otherwise known as wisdom ;o)

[biryani]

The menopause is a bummer, because you feel like c..p a lot of the time. I'm 51, and still going through it. I read somewhere that people hit their peak work-wise in their early 40's; I've already done that, so I don't feel the need to prove myself at work any more. Also, you're more likely to be financially well-established, and to maybe have some property as well. I think it's sad that many of use still feel the need to scrub up and to compete with each other for the attentions of men, though, whilst most men seem to be perfectly comfortable with getting older.