How shall I dress my 14 year old (slightly goth) daughter for a wedding?

(61 Posts)
CadburysChocolate Sun 17-Apr-11 09:37:43

DD1 is 16 and only wears black(!). We are going to a wedding in August but she is refusing to wear colour. DD2 (10) and DS1 (8) are fine.

This for DD

and DS is wearing simple beige linen shorts and waiscoat with a white shirt.

I am at the end of my tether with DD1, please help!

Is she 14 or 16? Either way, can't she choose for herself? As long as it is smart and the bride and groom are not massively superstitious about black at a wedding no-one will mind too much that a teenager is dressed in a slightly "rebellious" way.

CadburysChocolate Sun 17-Apr-11 09:42:02

Sorry, she's 14, didn't mean to write 16, whoops!

usualsuspect Sun 17-Apr-11 09:42:14

Let her decide what to wear ..you don't want her sulking all day because you have made her wear a pretty frock

purepurple Sun 17-Apr-11 09:42:48

I would let her pick her own dress. The more you dig your heels in, the more she will rebel and spoil the day.
Would she wear something like this?

Oh well done purple - I was thinking of dresses like that that I had seen linked before but couldn't remember the name of any of the websites.

And it's only £30! I think I want one!

Cattleprod Sun 17-Apr-11 09:45:39

There is loads of really pretty goth clothing - gorgeous corsets, long flowing skirts, amazing jewellery. I'm sure you can find something that you both like that is suitable.

ChoChoSan Sun 17-Apr-11 09:45:50

Just let her get on with it, I really don't think you should be 'dressing' a teenager anyway. I'm sure the bride and groom will recognise a bit of teenage rebellion.

I say this as a goth who was physically forced into white clothes for a confirmation I wanted no part in, at the age of fourteen. It was the most humiliating experience vie ever had! What does she suggest wearing?

frakyouveryverymuch Sun 17-Apr-11 09:45:57

I love that dress!

Would she compromise on charcoal or navy? Can you take her shopping to a shop or market which specialises in Goth style clothes like the Oasis Market in Birmingham?

rubyrubyruby Sun 17-Apr-11 09:47:31

I got married a few weeks ago and all my teenage nieces wore black dresses and looked fab.

Cattleprod Sun 17-Apr-11 09:47:35
purepurple Sun 17-Apr-11 09:48:25

more dresses here at bluebanana
Goth can be very pretty and can be subtle and not over the top

CadburysChocolate Sun 17-Apr-11 09:48:40

I see your points Trillian and Usual, I suppose I should let her choose or herself, but she would probably bring back something with chains etc, I'm trying to find something that we comprimise on. I showed her this which she said was 'not too bad, but a bit long' but is it a bit informal? (especially with a church service?) I don't mind getting it shortened a little for her if you say its ok.

WhatsWrongWithYou Sun 17-Apr-11 09:49:13

Purple's another non-black Goth colour.

Leverkusen Sun 17-Apr-11 09:49:43

this?

or this?

or this!

Don't know if that would be her style?

Cattleprod Sun 17-Apr-11 09:50:41

Ebay is really good for goth clothing too.

usualsuspect Sun 17-Apr-11 09:51:02

I don't think people expect teenagers to dress formerly for a wedding

I like that dress

I am definitely liking the 50s style dresses.

Why not get her to say what sort of thing she likes and we (well, all the better-informed MNers) will suggest dresses and you can both look and comment until we find one you agree on?

Ted Baker one is very glam but maybe a bit old?

purepurple Sun 17-Apr-11 09:52:20

cadburyschocolate £199 is a lot of money to spend on a dress that your daughter will only wear once
sorry, don't like that dress at all

dawntigga Sun 17-Apr-11 09:53:40

Couldn't you buy something that looks a bit vintage and get her to customise it herself?

JustAThoughtTiggaxx

Leverkusen Sun 17-Apr-11 09:54:11
usualsuspect Sun 17-Apr-11 09:55:31
frakyouveryverymuch Sun 17-Apr-11 09:56:43

It's old for a 14yo...and expensive! What kind of thing does she usually wear? Does she wear dresses/skirts/corsets?

CadburysChocolate Sun 17-Apr-11 10:03:27

DD isn't completely goth, actually, she's not very goth at all! She just won't wear colour. We are off shopping today, I'll tell you how we get on. I'll let her pick out dresses, and hopefully we will find something we both like!

LunarRose Sun 17-Apr-11 10:03:54

Hmmm... I'm not sure about the one you're looking at at for a14 year old. the ones from the gothic shop actually look a lot more fun and young especially like the polkadot and striped dress

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