Be Honest...Am I Too Old?

(108 Posts)
LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 20:40:42

Right...I'm being brave here...there's a piccie up on my profile at the moment (I'm the blonde second from the right, with the black top).

Am I too old to have long hair now? I'm 41 this year, and I'm thinking my hair is looking too school girlish for my age. The two other girls on the piccie are a good 10 years younger than me, and standing next to them I felt (and looked) old and yet my hair was as long as their's shock

My Mum has been dropping hints that my hair doesn't suit me anymore, and a couple of friends have said that I suit short hair better. But DH loves my hair being longer, so I really don't know what to do...

dexter73 Mon 04-Apr-11 20:42:49

No your hair is lovely and really suits you! Tbh there soesn't look like there is 10 between you and the others - you all look a similar age.

cornsilkily Mon 04-Apr-11 20:43:39

You look gorge envy

blondebutonlyfaking Mon 04-Apr-11 20:45:11

You look gorgeous and your hair is lovely and I'm 41 and jealous

ChocChipWine Mon 04-Apr-11 20:45:29

I agree with dex and your hair is not that long anyway. Your house is gorgeous by the way!

FlorenceandtheWashingMachine Mon 04-Apr-11 20:46:27

No, suits you. Don't cut it.

Gorgeous house BTW!

missorinoco Mon 04-Apr-11 20:47:46

Honestly, and I am too sleep deprived to be blunt, no.
You look great. I probably wouldn't go for longer hair as you have a small face and your features may be lost. Maybe that's what your friends mean by shorter hair suiting you better - that you look even better? I had to go back and look again when you said 10 years between you and the other girls, doesn't look it. Not trying to be a sycophant btw.

Put up a shorter hair photo and we could rate.

MaryPoppoff Mon 04-Apr-11 20:48:32

I think you look great and you certainly don't look 10 years older than the other two. I think long hair can look youthful as long as it's in good condition and the colour suits your skin tone which yours does IMO. (your house is beautiful BTW!)

MrsCampbellBlack Mon 04-Apr-11 20:49:15

You look good and suit long hair and 41 is young!

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 20:51:11

That piccie was taken 2-3 months ago, so hair is probably a couple of inches longer now? I think because it's very highlighted I'm worried about looking like mutton dressed as lamb - might get those extra 2 inches chopped off, and perhaps some darker shades of blonde in my highlights?

tethersend Mon 04-Apr-11 20:52:40

If you like your long hair, keep it, you can carry it off.

However, if you want to cut it- and this, if I'm honest, is my preferred option, then I think something like an edie sedgwick cut would suit you.

Or, you could please everyone and get both. Business at the front, party at the back. Oh yes.

MillsAndDoom Mon 04-Apr-11 20:52:43

If you had been the one on the left in red top then I would have said she should have it cut to your length but I think yours looks fine.

And so pleased to see the pic of the infamous kitchen stairs

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 20:52:46

I'll try and quickly put up a photo of me with cropped hair for a fair comparison...wait a minute...


I don't think you look 10 years older than your friends, I do think the girl in the pink dress needs her split ends cut off and I do think you need an outfit re-think. Your hair looks fine but I think you would look better if you lopped maybe 2 inches off the length and grew out the front bit a bit.

ohh yes x-post but I think tethersend has something with the Edie Sedgewick cut.

surelynotnormal Mon 04-Apr-11 20:54:01

It's not long it's shoulder length. It's perfect, don't chop it.

By long I thought you meant rapunzelesque all down your back.

surelynotnormal Mon 04-Apr-11 20:55:44

P.S, which on is MrLeQ? Is he the one in blue?

FABsBackAndIsWell Mon 04-Apr-11 20:56:11

I saw a photo of you with short hair and you look completely different in the long haired one. You look younger with the longer hair. I am a couple of years younger than you and also have long hair but not as long as yours. I see this as my last chance for long hair before I get too old but I will see how I feel when I feel differently hmmconfusedgrin.

BlooferLady Mon 04-Apr-11 20:57:58

Before I click on the link I'll admit my first instinct was that you're a good decade too old for long hair - I've just lopped mine off at 31 and regret it grin

noddyholder Mon 04-Apr-11 21:00:02

I am 45 and still have long hair it's a different type of long hair but still long. It depends on your skin and over all look I think. I don.t suit short at all. It's not age it's style.

BlooferLady Mon 04-Apr-11 21:00:14

What? That's not long! I thought we were talking Sunday School teacher type locks! It's very nice. Keep it trimmed and thick and bouncy and you can have that for another few years no worries

jenster1976 Mon 04-Apr-11 21:01:26


Skinit Mon 04-Apr-11 21:02:11

NO way should you cut it off....its far from ageing. Now mine....I'm 38 and have thick dark hair and its past my shoulders....I have more reason to be afraid I think!

Skinit Mon 04-Apr-11 21:02:58

Oh and your home is lovely. envy

JustLikeHeaven Mon 04-Apr-11 21:05:08

You look beautiful, and your hair is fab... AND... you dont look ten years older than the other ladies. In fact I think you look better than the lady with too much on show. sorry if thats mean...

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 21:06:36

Right...piccie up now of me with cropped hair...

dexter73 Mon 04-Apr-11 21:08:26

I think you older with short hair! Looks a bit more mumsy.

FrancesFarmer Mon 04-Apr-11 21:08:27

You look very stylish imo.

FrancesFarmer Mon 04-Apr-11 21:09:15

^ with the longer hair, I meant.

I'm not as keen on the shorter cut.

TaudrieTattoo Mon 04-Apr-11 21:10:14

Perhaps somewhere between the two is the way forward.

Deffo younger longer, but maybe a bit too long atm.

Sparklingblue Mon 04-Apr-11 21:11:00

LeQueen you look like a different person with short hair! And you look 10 years younger with the longer hair. Hold onto it for as long as you can. You look gorgeous! X

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 21:11:48

tethers thanks for the link, that's actually the same style my hair is cut in on the piccie of me with cropped hair. I took a photo of Sienna Miller into the salon...

MillsAndDoom Mon 04-Apr-11 21:12:30

Agree with dexter - you look younger with the longer hair style

ladysybil Mon 04-Apr-11 21:13:11

do NOT chop your hair. its lovely, and youre gorgous. and tbh, i thought the one in the middle looked older than you.

the reason most women cut their hair when they are older, imo, is that it tends not to be as thick and lustrous as when they were younger, but, if you are lucky enough to have it, then why chop it just because you have reached a particular number?

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 21:13:14

Thanks for all the I'm thinking that the longer hair is bestest? Might just tone down the colour slightly, have a few more honey coloured high lights put in...

WhatsWrongWithYou Mon 04-Apr-11 21:14:09

You look to me as if you have an oval face, which means pretty much any style would suit you envy.

I'm 47 and my hair is nearly as long as yours, but not as blonde (but then my highlights are to cover the grey in naturally dark hair - I suspect yours are to retain a natural blonde look).

I agree with whoever said it's a matter of style rather than age; no matter what my age i'll never have short short hair as it wouldn't suit my face, style or personality. The look is maybe slightly unbalanced; only in that maybe more layers at the front would meld the fringe and the longer length in together iykwim.

What I would say (if you don't mind) is black isn't the best colour on you; in fact, that may be what makes you see yourself as much older than your friends (who are wearing lighter colours and more dressy styles - not that you need to copy them in any way).
Get yourself down to House of Colour and prepare to spend lots of money re-vamping your wardrobe!

ColonelBrandonsBiggestGroupie Mon 04-Apr-11 21:14:59

I like the long hair much better than the shorter, although agree that if it's longer than that now it might be better to lose a couple of inches. You look older in the short hair pic, to me.

I do agree that going a bit darker would be nice though.

And you deffo look younger than the lady in red.

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 21:15:26

Thank you for all the lovely comments by the way. I think the photo is taken from a very flattering angle, and it's not a close-up. Trust me, close up it's very obvious that I am 10 years older than my mates, I can promise you smile

WhatsWrongWithYou Mon 04-Apr-11 21:16:15

Ooh the shorter cut looks cute as well - proving my point! But you've got nice hair so why not show it off?

saltyseadog Mon 04-Apr-11 21:20:40

Keep the long hair - it definitely suits, and you do not look 10 years older than your friends.

I agree that toning down the highlights may be a good plan as you get older, but I personally have no plans to give up long hair or highlights for a long time yet (I am a mere 35 wink).

PS - gorgeous sitting room.

noddyholder Mon 04-Apr-11 21:30:35

Either keep it long or cut it very short the in-between one looks older and mumsy

I think the shorter is too short and the longer is too long, I think there is something in the middle but definitely think it's more the black top that needs sorting rather than the hair.

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 21:32:48

Yes, I think I wear far too much black, and it's too harsh for me to wear nowadays.

Apparently I am overly fond of the word think. Sorry about that.

MooMooFarm Mon 04-Apr-11 21:39:38

Definitely not too old, and you don't look older than your friends, honestly.

I think you actually look younger in the pic with longer hair anyway. I wouldn't cut it, but - since you're asking - I think very light, highlighted hair is a bit harsh on anybody and would be more flattering and 'softer looking' with some darker blonde weaved in.

But you look lovely anyway!

colditz Mon 04-Apr-11 21:42:15

I'd have put the woman in the red top as older than you, because she looks like she has cheek implants.

You don't look significantly older than any of the other women in the photo, and furthermore, your hair isn't even what I would class as long.

colditz Mon 04-Apr-11 21:46:06

I'd like to see you in a dirty pink top. The black washes your face out.

nickschick Mon 04-Apr-11 21:50:19

I think you are vv pretty and suit your hair like that in fact out of the 3 there you suit it best ...... ds1 also said you are very attractive .....hes 17.

nickschick Mon 04-Apr-11 21:51:10

You look v mumsy and different with shorter hair.

TheBolter Mon 04-Apr-11 21:55:05

I think you look better with longer hair, however I agree with whoever said that something in between might be better.

I had long hair for ages but recently had it cut into a choppy mid length, just above the shoulders, which seems to have had an anti-ageing effect as it 'lifts' my face, rather than dragging it down. It also makes me look better when I smile too for some reason - probably because a shorter cut makes me look fresher.

I think shoulder length hair looks fine on the over-forties, so long as you don't go the way I was going before my haircut, or your friend in the red dress, or Gwyneth Paltrow, who seem to exemplify the 'clinging onto youth' look which you want to avoid. Keep it snappy and well cut, with some choppy layers to lift and add texture and you'll look gorgeous.

dexter73 Mon 04-Apr-11 22:00:49

Just accept it - You're a babe!!

TIDDLYMUM Mon 04-Apr-11 22:01:42

I agree , its lovely. You are hardly rapunzel! The other two don't look any younger than you either!! How good is that???

And yes your home is lovely as well )

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 22:03:58

nick 17? 17 ?????

That's just wrong.

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 22:05:24

bolter yes, I think choppy layers are the way to go, and perhaps tone down the blonde-ness. More honey/caramel tones I think from now on.

ManicPanic Mon 04-Apr-11 22:07:00

I would do you, Le Queen.

You'd never want a man again except for putting up shelves wink

mylovelymonster Mon 04-Apr-11 22:07:38

You look great just as you are - and I think if you cut your hair short it would make you look older. Don't do it. Agree with all the other stuff above too.

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 22:08:40

cold I had 'my colours done' years ago and apparantly I'm a 'Blue Spring' which means I should wear cool, sorbet shades and that a pinky-grey colour was best for me hmm

How clever are you smile

mylovelymonster Mon 04-Apr-11 22:09:06

....apart from what ManicPanic said blushgrin

sweetigilly Mon 04-Apr-11 22:09:43


I bet you were a stunner once.

dexter73 Mon 04-Apr-11 22:10:56

Still is sweetigilly hmm...

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 22:11:07

I take it you're a lady manic? Thank you, I'm flattered...I do have a man, but he can't put shelves up...

[ponders why she has a man in her life, especially now that due to EU regulations all electrical appliances come with plus already attached hmm ]

MerryMarigold Mon 04-Apr-11 22:11:41

I don't think it is long, or inappropriate! You look nice. I think you look nicer with it longer and sleeker than the shorter style. If going short then I'd go really short and sleeker, (The edie sedgwick link is great). But if dh likes it like this then it's fine. But yes, darker highlights sound good.

vanillamum Mon 04-Apr-11 22:12:33

Another vote for keep it as it is, I think it looks lovely and far nicer now than short. I have the same length hair as you and I really like your fringe and front of your hair-mine is all one length and is verging on the sunday school teacher territory and I think is ageing. Yours is not.

LeQueen Mon 04-Apr-11 22:13:13

sweet ta, I used to scrub up well, but there's no denying I'll never see 25 again and my tummy is like a bowl of suet courtesy of the DDs hmm

mummyosaurus Mon 04-Apr-11 22:13:14

Fab hair, you definitely have a few more long hair years in you.

I understand why you ask, I'm a similar age with just past shoulder length hair too.

Escallonia Mon 04-Apr-11 22:14:50

I would cut 2 inches off your hair - make it blunter, but otherwise think you have it right length-wise and you look great. Short hair can be fantastic, sexy and easy but needs (ime!) the effort to on make up, try to do pared down daytime look and suddenly it all goes a bit mumsy.

Your mate in the pink top needs to get rid of her split ends and rethink the cleavage. wink

everlong Mon 04-Apr-11 22:15:29

Hair is lovely, nice colour and cut suits you.

But I know what you mean, I'm a bit older than you but have a blonde ( highlights ) long bob. Sort of Claudia Winklemanish. It's nice but I'm a bit bored and I'm too thinking of something else. But what!!

ManicPanic Mon 04-Apr-11 22:27:56

I am indeed a lady. I too have a man who can't put up shelves. hmm

toastandmarmiterocks Mon 04-Apr-11 23:11:46

I think the hairstyle in the middle would suit you better. I think your hairstyle now is a bit dated blush. You should have a thicker side swept fringe, I would go shorter too. I agree about honeying up a bit too! Is that you in the top photo too? It looks like two different people!!

That blush was for my cheeky comment, not that you should be embarrassed with a dated hairstyle...!!

daimbardiva Mon 04-Apr-11 23:30:53

Goodness, no. You look great - and no way do you look 41, let alone 10 years older than the other two. You've got lovely delicate features so probably could take a shorter cut, but I think midlength as you have it suits you well

TheFarSide Mon 04-Apr-11 23:37:28

Looks good long. However, I like linen trousers and therefore apparently have no taste.

BalloonSlayer Tue 05-Apr-11 08:00:38

Just popped in to add that you look a lot younger with longer hair.

I can see why you are concerned as a general rule of thumb is that long hair can look muttony . . . but it doesn't on you. Lucky you... grin envy

TheBolter Tue 05-Apr-11 09:22:43

LeQ, I have uploaded a photo of my haircut. It's fab and I would recommend!!

kittya Tue 05-Apr-11 09:25:52

Your hair looks fab, I would leave it.

Your house is amazing!! smile

MooMooFarm Tue 05-Apr-11 09:26:44

TheBolter that's cheating! I dare you to post one of you modelling the haircut!

miche8 Tue 05-Apr-11 09:51:47

i think the length and colour is lovely, it suits you, and no way do you look your age. Perhaps a side sweeping fringe and more honey/caramel highlights if you want a change but you look good as you are.

The photo of you with shorter hair looks mumsy and you look much older, i didn't think it was the same person.

I will say i think the black top does you no favours, perhaps try navy to ween yourself off the black. I think the reason you felt older was because of the clothes, your friends have dresses on and i think you are wearing jeans.

Lovely home by the way, that sofa looks so comfy.

StroppyDad Tue 05-Apr-11 10:04:59

Ha, ha! My wife's 42 and was having this conversation with me last week. Her hair is like yours and I said "Don't cut it!" She looks great with long hair and so do you.

CeliaFate Tue 05-Apr-11 10:20:14

I'd have the ends chopped and perhaps a few darker blond sliced highlights. (I have to say though you look much younger than the one on the left and the same age as the one in the middle!). Shorter hair does make you look more mumsy.

DuelingFanjo Tue 05-Apr-11 10:23:39

is it you in the other picture on your profile? I think you look much younger in the group photo than you do with short hair in the first one.

DuelingFanjo Tue 05-Apr-11 10:25:30

oh and FWIW the oldest looking woman in that picture is the one in the red dress.

wendihouse22 Tue 05-Apr-11 10:33:46

You look great.

It would look good shorter but, up to you, no one else.

Just read your post about DH's mothers day comment.....he's an arse.

wendihouse22 Tue 05-Apr-11 10:35:19

Oh, and by the way.....the other girls don't LOOK 10 years younger than you, queen!

MooMooFarm Tue 05-Apr-11 11:01:49

Feeling a bit sorry for LeQueen's friends - particularly the one with the red top - if she reads this she may be a bit shock at some of the remarks about her!

Re her choice of outfit - they're obviously all on a night out in the pic - so I'm assuming she doesn't have her baps on display when she's wandering round Tesco grin

everlong Tue 05-Apr-11 11:07:51

LeQ you remind me of someone off the telly, I can see them but can't think who they are??

Oh yes it's her off shameless. Franks wife who had the lesbian affair with the black woman! Slimmer and prettier but you do have a look of her on that last picture.

everlong Tue 05-Apr-11 11:09:39

I meant that you are slimmer and prettier obv.

kerstina Tue 05-Apr-11 11:52:26

41 is not old ! I think you look beautiful with longer hair and look the same age as the other two girls. I think you look older in the picture with short hair but I am probably biased. I prefer longer hair think its much more flattering.
Occasionally I think' wow' with someone with short hair. Think Natalia Imbrulia looks better with short hair.
I am 42 and it not crossed my mind that I am too old for long hair. Short hair can be more ageing.

TerrysNo2 Tue 05-Apr-11 11:59:50

Ok, are you fishing for compliments here wink as I think you look great!! grin

Not even a discussion really, keep the hair!!

Very envy of your house!!

hatwoman Tue 05-Apr-11 12:05:28

i find the photos a bit odd (well, my response to them) I totally agree with the others that you look much younger in the longer-haired one and a wee bit mumsy in the other. but, bizarrely, take away your face (!) and your hair looks better in the shorter one - it looks thicker and has more of a style. I would see if you can sort of combine them! get rid of any straggly ends and go back to a side-parting (which is essentially what others have said). maybe try styling it with more of a soft wave to give it more volume

I still can't quite get over how I think your hair looks better in the first but you look better in the second confused

DuelingFanjo Tue 05-Apr-11 12:06:29

I second that 41 is not old, I was 41 yesterday.

MillsAndDoom Tue 05-Apr-11 12:29:19

Oh and yes 41 is not old

LouMacca Tue 05-Apr-11 13:31:34

I always imagined you to be dark!! You look lovely and your hair looks just fine.

The Bolter - that haircut is gorgeous. That's not you is it? envy

KeepCalmAndCurryOn Tue 05-Apr-11 14:07:29

I think you've got the answer LeQ - subtling the colour abit.

AbsDuCroissant Tue 05-Apr-11 14:15:16

I think you look better with the longer hair - agree with the others who say the shorter hair makes you look mumsy.

Maybe a hair cut similar to the women in the middle of the second picture, a longer sleek bob? I also agree that maybe a longer, sidey-sweep fringe and slices of darker blonde.

dolceebanana Tue 05-Apr-11 14:47:46 looks great, in good condition...I am 41 years young, and have similar length blonde hair and wouldn't cut it short.

KaraStarbuckThrace Tue 05-Apr-11 14:52:58

41 years is not too older, I know a lady who is probably about 10 years older than you with similar length hair and it really suits her.

You don't look 41!!

TheBolter Tue 05-Apr-11 14:56:14

LouMacca - The Bolter - that haircut is gorgeous. That's not you is it?

ROFL... I wish! No it was the photo I used to show the hairdresser as I have same shaped face and colouring and thought it looked great on the model/celeb/whoever she is...

jeanjeannie Tue 05-Apr-11 14:57:01

I'm 45 and the way I see it is - if long hair suits you then it doesn't matter what age you are; it suits you and that's that. I've always looked like a guinea pig with short hair - always have done, always I keep it longish.

Gone are the days of curlers and blue rinses the moment you hit 40. I agree that a more subtle colour will suit the complexion more...but as for chopping it look amazing. I think you look much better with it longer smile

migola Tue 05-Apr-11 15:59:15

you look great, and much better with it long.
How on earth do you have time to even brush your hair and keep such a spotless house? grin envy

(41 is NOT old!!)

FaffTastic Tue 05-Apr-11 20:15:18

Think you look younger/better in the pic of you with long hair compared to the one of you with short hair

partyhats Tue 05-Apr-11 20:37:17

I like your hair long, 41 is not too old for long hair at all, especially if it is in good condition like yours seems to be. I love, love love your kitchen too!

echt Tue 05-Apr-11 20:56:41

Am astonished that rels and friends feel free to advise you about your hair, OP.

I'd be most taken aback if anyone did this to me, and I'm well aware my hair looks bogging weird for anyone.

You look very nice indeed.

WhiteElefant Tue 05-Apr-11 21:28:55

The Bolter thats the same pic I took to the hairdressers last week. They didn't cut it quite that short and it does't quite seem to work (had it done at my local college). Just wondering if your cut takes much styling, I am camping in August and will have no hair dryer or straighterers shock trying to decide if I have more chopped off before then or to let it grow.
Sorry about the hijack LeQueen

said Tue 05-Apr-11 21:47:00

I feel sorry for the poor woman in the red having strangers criticising her hair on the internet

WhatsWrongWithYou Tue 05-Apr-11 22:14:22

Yes it did all get a bit close to the bone - it's not as if the OP was asking for her friends to be pulled apart, but some people certainly didn't hold back! << sniffs >>

TheBolter Wed 06-Apr-11 11:46:16

WhiteElefant - what a coincidence!

No, not much styling. It takes about 15 minutes from washing through to styling.

I don't always straighten it though as I quite like the more natural 'voluminous' look.

Mine has grown in the last two months and was easier to manage when a little shorter.


<has big fat girlcrush on LQ>

Looks lovely on you as it is. But it sounds like you feel like you want a change.

WhiteElefant Wed 06-Apr-11 12:56:35

Thanks TheBolter, think I will have mine cut just before I go away so that its hopefully managable while I am away.

appleslice Wed 06-Apr-11 13:12:10

You look gorgeous leave your hair as it is..

Lovely house envy

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