Please help me look good when I go back to work? Feeling v wobbly &looking even more wobbly

[AisieSusie]

I am going back to work in a month, after 7 months maternity leave. Hate my body at the moment & self esteem at rock bottom as dh just moved out.

Unfortuneately I am still as large as a house, in fact, am larger than when pregnant due to illness & comfort eating... And I have no clothes that fit except some maternity black trousers... And I don't know where to get any clothes from, went to a mall today & came back empty handed & depressed, trifling through racks of size 8s to find a lone size 18 which makes me look like a shapeless mess.

Am still bf so have huge boobs (& will need to express at work do maybe need bf tops/ dresses?), huge arse & stomach looks about 6 months preg! Am also 5ft 11 so am at risk of the 'manly' look (think of the tv show Miranda, except more wobbly!).

My work is very 'media funky', with lots of skinny blondes sashaying round the place... So I need to look not only smart but cool & 'interesting' too! Help me fit in a bit???

Was thinking of:

a black funky/pretty dress, with empire line or lots of material over the tummy (absolutely no way I could have something waisted at the moment!)

A black jacket for meetings, teamed w striking/ funky jewlery?

pretty cardi to distract from shape underneath, prob worn open at the mo?

some kind of funky cool tops that will magically enhance my shape???

So basically, any ideas of what might suit me?

And where to get things from?

Any help will be pathetically & gratefully received... Thanks!

[bethjeff]

Im in the exact same boat AisieSusie...
Unfortunately,I haven't had a great deal of luck either but you do have height on your side!!! (I am a titch!)

I saw this
The other day my tall chunky friend bought it and looked really nice. The detailing is just right and balanced out her big bum and boobs.

Unfortunately being short- I looked twice as large in it. But please do try it on- it's lovely.

I've nabbed this from another thread, it doesn't hide the tummy but nips in to give you more of a waist. And the wrapover line would draw the eye away from any tummy areas (although if you're paranoid get a pair of shaping pants!)

I'm struggling for cardi's.... I need one desperately but they're all so dull and boring.

Funky jewellery is allllll over the place. My personal favourite is Zsiska
www.zsiska.com/

IMHO an empire line might make you look pregnant. (I'm not saying this to be nasty- it's just something I've noticed on myself!)

If I can think of anything else I shall let you know

[JudgeJudithSheindlin]

Firstly, you do not need to look like a blonde stick insect. Sounds like there's loads of those already and they'll have insecurities too, whether they wish they got taken more seriously or were even thinner or whatever. They'll all be fretting about something I guarantee it.

Secondly, please do not wear something empire line unless you want people to ask you if you're pregnant again. Blocks of colour and belts will give the impression of a waist. Wearing fitted clothes will also give you definition which stops the bulk.

Thirdly, get some decent underwear. Spanx will hold it all in and make you look smoother. M&S do similar underwear but cheaper.

Fourthly, check out where you'll be expressing. If it's private enough you won't need breastfeeding tops (and let's face it they're almost always vile). A button up shirt will give easy enough access.

Fifthly, make the most of your assets. If you have enormous boobs get a great bra and wear a neckline that flatters without showing everything.

Sixthly, great shoes, hair, make-up and jewellery will make you look slick and won't ever be the wrong size or fit.

Try going to see a personal shopper at Harvey Nicks or similar. You don't have to buy but use it for inspiration and a boost to your self esteem. Good luck

[JudgeJudithSheindlin]

X-posted with everyone! I did take quite a long time to write my post

[KristinaM]

i agree that you should get a few good basics that flatter you and some "on trend" accessories

agree black dress good. soemthing plain like this.If you have good legs,wear it just above the knee or higher if you dare with opaques and very comtemporary shoes / heeled ankle boots

animal print scarves are cheap and will funk it up

trousers are more difficult as cropped / skinnies /cigarette pants not good if you are carrying a little extra weight

ladylike blouses are in this autumn and good with a black pencil skirt

jersey dresses are also good, as long as they don't look too mumsy.and you DONT wear them with court shoes. there are loads in Kew and Phase Eight

please resist the urge to dress like a bag lady in too big, black, shapeless clothing. I know its hard when you dont feel good about your body, but you will get back in shape in time. i bet none of these skinny blonde bodies have just performed a miracle

[traceybath]

First of all congratulations on baby and this exciting new stage in your life

You've had lots of fab advice - I'd just add make sure you've got some decent bras - I'd lose the nursing ones and get some decent underwired ones. I did at that stage of bf and it made such a difference to my shape.

Also a slip to go under dresses will just smooth out your lines.

Are you near london at all as just reading about fab re-vamp of John Lewis and could be worth seeing one of their personal shoppers. Or try gap for good black trousers.

Draping is also your friend - think Viv Westwood Aglomania but at m&s type prices.

Whats your budget?

[AisieSusie]

Hey, thank you for all the advice.

I know I shouldn't quest after being the stick insects, who I am sure are miserable about the way they look. Its just I was already by far the biggest there before I went on maternity, and will be coming back even bigger... so need to be big and stylish at least i guess!

Definately can't wear a 'nipped in waist', as wasn't joking when I said I looked 6 months pregnant... I really do. Someone on the bus today looked at me and pushchair and coo-ed 'oh such a little baby and another already on the way' pah!!!!

So if empire line is out, [take your point on this!], and nipped in waists are out... what styles should I be looking for?

[AisieSusie]

Also, I went to a few shops you recommended:

Kew - lots of lovely 'tea dresses' that would fit in well at work, but not in my size, asked sales assistant who was rather unhelpful so couldn't find out whether they actually stock size 18 or not.

Phase Eight - bought a top which I like, floaty tulip pattern, flouncy deep V neck, little buttons down front and gather in under bust and then flowy over the tummy to disguise it a bit. If I had a couple more like that [with cardi, jacket and black trousers] I would feel at least adequate at work

East - right sizes but all felt quite 'mumsy [matches how i feel but not how I need to look for work!], shame, nothing cool or slightly 'ironic' enough for my work :-(

and off to Kensington High Street tomorrow for more shops, especially M&S and H&M. I think they have a Kew as well so maybe more sizes...

Will look into john lewis personal shopper too... not sure how I'd get in to it though, assume one on Oxford Street is best?

Also on my TO DO LIST is getting some good underpinnings: bra, fat busting hold me in things and a slip!

tell me about spanx anyone? i had some M&S equivalent before and they were really uncomfortable and rolled down over the waist...

[bethjeff]

Oh no I just bought the m&s ones!! Dammit!!
The spanx tights are ok but I found them uncomfortable and impossible to visit the toilet in.
Glad that you found something that you like!
Dorothy Perkins have 25% off (code dpvip I think) and they usually have a good few floaty-ish affairs and I got a lovely brown spotty tea dress from there in an 18. Looks fab with a pair of wooly tights and brown brogue heels.
Consider wearing tunic tops- because of the added length it lengthens your entire body.
I got a nice top in oasis the other day- says it was a 16 but it was more like an 18. Tunic style with huge aladdin type sleeves in turquoise. Very glam. Their bottom halfs are tiny though.
Have you ever had anything made to measure? It's pricey but I think it's worth it if it's something you are going to wear on a weekly basis.

[BaggedandTagged]

AisieSusie- if you can afford it, treat yourself to a bra fitting at Rigby and Peller (Conduit St- make an appointment or waits can be long)

The bras are expensive (around £50-60)compared to the High St but the quality is excellent- they really last and, critically, your boobs end up in front of you rather than falling out to the sides, but without also ending up under your collar bones and it really makes such a difference to how you look and feel.

I just buy a few and wash them out by hand as I'd rather have a few really great bras than loads of not so good ones.

Best of luck going back to work!