Thinking of dropping out of degree in yr2 as I have no childcare

(8 Posts)
katedan Mon 16-Dec-13 20:02:15

I am currently working fulltime on a 6 month placement for a social work degree. I knew it was going to be tough but had just started to settle in when my child-minder had to give me notice for after Christmas due to unforeseen circumstances. In the last 4 days me and DH have phoned, e mailed and looked at every childminder, after school clubs etc in the area and there is no vacancies. I am due back to work on the 6th January and have no idea who will look after the kids after school. My children have been very used to having me at home and especially the older one (10) are making life very difficult refusing to even look at after school clubs etc with me (They then have no places anyway). I feel so guilty for putting my family through this and realise the lack of childcare is going be a problem. DH can do one day after school and MIL another so only need 3 days now but I am so stressed and feel if I am going to drop out I might as well not do any of the essays/revision due over Christmas as there would be no point. Not really a question just wanted to rant to other parents juggling studying with children and see if anyone has any suggestions.

TinyDiamond Mon 16-Dec-13 23:52:07

how much longer is left of placement?

Something that sprung to mind is that you could employ a temp part time nanny. Could you find someone via your university maybe a Psychology/SALT student or anyone with previous experience with children? With more than one child a nanny hourly rate would probably be OK, especially if it is only for a short period of time.

I am a mature student again now as a parent but when I was 18 and at uni the first time I used to nanny for various families for situations exactly like these. I was very flexible and didn't mind short term or ad hoc stuff. My first job was like you describe I collected 2 children from school, walked them home and made them dinner and did homework until parents home. I got the job through their advert on Gumtree.

Depending on where you live you may have some luck finding people to interview through Gumtree but some areas are very quiet on there.

Good luck with this, childcare is a nightmare sometimes.

scottishmummy Mon 16-Dec-13 23:57:10

Wait a wee minute.you were housewife fir those kids,now it's your time
At 10 yo you can attend after school and be more self sufficient to allow you to study
You need to stick in,rally any support you can get.source childcare
Don't be so defeatist,you sit the kids down and you tell them changes are a coming as mum is studying

You revise, you get your head down and stop fretting about the kids

scottishmummy Tue 17-Dec-13 00:04:02

Why are you guilty about pursuing a career and doing something fir yourself?
You need to lose that mum guilt and emerge as an adult who's entitled to more than solely being mum
Unless of course you're ok with no career or external life so long as the kids aren't inconvenienced

Princessdeb Tue 17-Dec-13 00:26:51

Dear OP,
Please don't give up. You have come so far. I can offer advice from two perspectives. firstly from being a student it can sometimes feel that you are putting your family on the back burner especially in practice based courses such as social work where you have practice placements to complete as well as the academic work but what you are doing is for your and your family's future. Feel proud not guilty that you are doing that.

Secondly as someone now working in a university supporting students in a practice based course I would suggest two things. First contact your personal tutor as a matter of urgency and discuss the difficulties you are experiencing. You may be able to negotiate an extension to your placement to give you a bit of breathing space after Christmas to sort out your childcare issues. Secondly your universities student support/ student union should be able to assist you with searching for childcare. They should be able to refer you to someone who has experience supporting student parents. Good luck and don't give up.

EBearhug Tue 17-Dec-13 00:34:20

Yes, please talk to your university! The support staff and academics I know get terribly frustrated when people drop out for reasons like this and never raised it or asked for the support that is available.

If it were me, if I finally decided I really couldn't make it work, I would need to know I'd tried all possible avenues before I came to that decision, that it was a fully informed decision.

katedan Tue 17-Dec-13 18:05:12

Thank you to you all.

I have until June on placement.

I live about 45 mins drive from Uni so all their childcare options are too far away for me however I have another uni near me and once Christmas holidays are over I can advertise with them.

I def have mother guilt, not sure if I will ever get over it. I basically cannot get my head round that I am doing this which is costing the family money and DH earns the money we live on so I feel all the pressure on me however I am at the bottom my career and don't have the flexibility DH has as he is at the top of his career (due to the fact I stayed at home so he could focus on his career) I am not bitter honest!!

I think I have a CM for one day so feeling a bit better as that will help out. Not much support at uni about anything especially domestic issues as we are just told it is up to us to balance placement and childcare.

Thank you I am feeling bit better today just very overwhelmed by the working fulltime, studying and having a family life!

scottishmummy Tue 17-Dec-13 18:38:15

You need to lose the mum guilt,and focus on carer and studies.pronto
You're on placement to gain your professional registration.short term investment for long term career
Really,start to think like a professional woman and less of the housewife
handwringing

You sit your 10yo down and tell her about your course,job it will lead to and if she sticks in at school she'll go to uni too.

Changes are a-comin and you need to start feeling more empowered more confident. You'll need confidence and judgement on placement and in new job

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