feeling so confused :(

(7 Posts)
sj257 Thu 24-Oct-13 13:48:58

Hi all,
I am in the second year of my degree and have two children, aged 7 and 5 and a half. I'm absolutely desperate to have another baby but would this be madness while I am at uni? I feel if I leave it until I finish uni then the age gap would just be too big. There are two girls on my course that are pregnant so I know it can be done. My husband isn't keen on having another while I am at uni and wants to wait until I have graduated. It's becoming all I can think about at the moment sad

MyMotherHadMeTested Thu 24-Oct-13 13:58:26

Do you know anyone in the year above who has done this, to find out how supportive the course are? I had my DS in the third year of a degree, luckily the uni were very supportive and I was able to take a year off and come back part time to finish, so in my case it worked out really well. Not sure I would have wanted more than the last bit to do though, it did feel like I was just coming back to leap the final hurdle rather than having loads still ahead of me. DS is my first though so didn't have any other kids and the extra pressure of that. How easy are you finding juggling the two with the course?

sj257 Thu 24-Oct-13 14:07:32

I know someone who did my course at my uni a few years ago and had a baby and they took a year out then went back once the baby was one. Last year I mainly got through the course by doing all my work on my 2 days off while my children were at school so that I didn't have to sacrifice weekend time. I know that'd have to change slightly if we had another baby but I would prepared to do that.

likelytoasksillyquestions Thu 24-Oct-13 15:08:02

I had my son at the end of the penultimate year of my (part-time) degree. Teaching didn't resume til he was 5mo so I didn't have to take any time out, although I had to take exams in the resit session (when DS was 4mo - they were originally scheduled within the month after birth).

Uni were v supportive and changing my exam dates was no hassle at all, but the pregnant year was very hard for me (more so than the year with a baby tbh, in spite of being a single mother with a sleepless tetchy baby). I had an 'easy' pregnancy but was constantly exhausted, mentally and physically. Ultimately I am happy with my final results and am not sure I would have changed the timing, but it was very very hard work.

Good luck - hard decision. Fwiw I think bigger gaps can be great - there are almost 10 years between me and my only sibling and it's actually a really nice gap for both of us, and my mother, afaik.

sj257 Thu 24-Oct-13 16:11:21

I am actually at a college university centre, my degree validated by Lancaster Uni but it makes it easier to study closer to home. As a result, there are lots of students who are parents and they are a very understanding institution. I have studied while pregnant before so know that's tough, I think it's the fear of the unknown as I've never studied with a baby before!!! smile

likelytoasksillyquestions Thu 24-Oct-13 20:31:38

Oh - well, like I say, I found that bit easier than the studying while upduffed bit! But then I can't speak for how it is to be studying with a baby plus older kids...

Nightwish Fri 25-Oct-13 09:35:47

I agree with likely.
Studying with a baby is a lot easier than when pregnant.
I was pregnant with DS2 for most of my second year and started back this year when he was 6 weeks old!
I am managing but it is hard work fitting everything in as DS1 started school this year too.
I really struggled with concentration levels when I was pregnant and trying to do work but I still came out with a distinction profile so it is possible!
(My course is also at a college and validated by a uni, they seem to be way more flexible and helpful!)

I think the key at the end of the day is do you have enough support to get your home study time in?
I am atm doing work around DS2's naps but he does sleep alot at 10 weeks, I know this will change through the year and get harder but I have the option of the MIL to help look after him for a day or so a week.

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