ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
thank god its sunday(182 Posts)
I know its an awful thing to say but having had dsc's for over a week I am really ready for them to go home.
They have really pushed boundaries this week and for the first time ever dp has actually disciplined them so we have had the backlash to deal with too. Although he still let's them get away with talking to me like crap...he is starting to back me up when I tell them off for it though.
Am soooo glad i have 2 weeks before they are here again.
Not aided by being 29 weeks pg and having an awful tummy bug for last 3 days
Not awful at all. You are only human (even though stepmums are expected to be superhuman and take whatever is thrown at them).
I hope you are over the tummy bug soon.
Start of the week was great but then dsd went back to deliberately wetting herself and dss has been an obstinate little sod since Friday. If they were my own I would have smacked the pair of them by now for the way they have behaved
Why is it parents are allowed to love but not like their kids at time but as step mums we are expected to cherish even when they are quite frankly being little shits
Both my stepchildren were regular bedwetters until they reached double figures - older in my stepchildren's case.
I am not sure from your post why your stepdaughter's wetting herself was deliberate.
Just out of interest are you intending to hit your own baby? Or is it simply that the idea of hitting other people's children that appeals to you.
It's not bed wetting its. She knows she needs to go but decides not to. She has told her dad this several times this week
And if my baby requires discipline and I deem a smack is appropriate then yes. Not that it is any of Ur business how I chose to discipline my children
I know what you mean about parents being allowed to not like their own kids at times...seriously I have been close to breaking point with my own boys but if I dare to mention that my stepkids are doing my head in it's met with complete horror!!!!
Bedwetting is a nightmare isn't it. My eldest wet the bed til he was 7 or thereabouts but one of the stepkids has only just stopped and he is 12. With me it wasn't the bedwetting that annoyed me but the hiding of wet sheets that I only found when trying to discover what the awful smell was in the house. Also when it was done due to laziness, being too busy doing something else or they want to punish you for saying no to something.
I totally get your frustration and if I were you I'd use the two weeks off to relax and build up your stamina for the next time.
dejected that is it totally. She just decides she can't be bothered to stop playing so does it and then denies it, lies, hides her clothes etc. And its exactly the response to being told no. She is fully aware age is doing it and dare I say proud of it.
I have them Wednesday but only to.Gove them tea and then.drop off/pick.up at cubs and.brownies. its the next weekend I.am dreading cos dp works night's so they are with me.the whole time. Might suggest a sleepover at dp's parents on.the Friday night lol
I found bedwetting - though this appears to be something a bit different - very trying. When my children got a bit older, I would ask them to take responsibility for dealing with associated laundry etc.
However I'd want to ask myself what is going on, if it is a more conscious regression into babylike behaviour. Is somebody upset and wanting to be looked after, like they were when they were younger?
Can praise be given for making the effort/having the forethought to go the loo on time.
While stepchildren's behaviour -and the behaviour of one's own children - can drive you to the limit, I think that hitting rarely/never achieves anything positive. Fantasising about hitting another person's child strikes me as a sign of feeling very stressed indeed, although I accept that a singificant minority of people feel that hitting children is absoutely fine.
Perhaps when things are a little less tiring and overwhelming, it will be easier to think of strategies for the next visit. And maybe if it is a shorter one everyone will find it a bit more manageable.
Fraumoose that's a bit uncalled for. I can't think why it would "appeal" to someone to hit a child. However, sometimes smacking is needed as a form of discipline. Doesn't make it enjoyable though.
You say "someone else's child" as if its a stranger's child. The stepchild is OP's DP's child.
As stepmums we are expected to just shut up and put up with bad behaviour and just because their stepchildren aren't their own it doesn't make the stepchildren golden and even they can be little brats as well as their own.
My DSD is being a super brat today, but so is my DS. They are both driving me up the wall. But because my DSD isn't mine I should just give her a nice pat on the back and punish my DS it seems.
For the record I don't hit either of them, but bad behaviour doesn't get brushed under the carpet and that counts for DSD as well. If anything she is setting DS an example and as his mum i want that to be GOOD example.
Babyh you sound quite delightful I am as happy as you that your dsc won't be in your care for the next two weeks.
What ages are your DSC OP?
They are nearly 8 & 10 but with the attitude of teenagers at times! The mouth on dss is a nightmare.
Deliberately wetting yourself at these ages is a really worrying sign and would suggest to me some emotional trauma.
Of course all children can be annoying and dislikale at times, but you seem quite intense in your dislike. Do you ever enjoy their company?
Sounds like you need a lot more support from your partner, both emotionally and physically and these long stretches of time in each others company sound horrible for all of you.
I think your partner needs to take this deliberate wetting seriously. What are they like at school?
Dp is talking to his ex today about the wetting. She says she doesn't do it at school.but when.we have collected het she is wet sometimes.
I love having them and normally we have a great time but they have been really naughty this week and I am.atmy wits end
The sleepover idea is a good one!!! Definitely push for that!
Please ignore the people who are quite frankly being rude. You are allowed to vent your frustration and surely it is better to vent on an internet forum than scream and shout at home.
At age 8 and age 10 they know exactly what they are doing and how to twist Daddy round their little finger while simultaneously throwing evil looks stepmums way. Enjoy your stepkid free time guilt free.
baby you can say no to your DP and his ex.
You are not well enough to give your DSC tea and take them to their activities - so they'll have to manage.
You can tell your DP when he comes home from nightshift that you are going out/need to sleep so he'll have to manage the DCs around his sleep at the weekend.
You do not have to take responsibility for his DCs - and if you know that you can't give it your best, then refusing to accept your DP delegating responsibility to you is best for the DCs.
I would find the bedwetting very worrying indeed. If what the mother says is true, then your DSD only wets herself when she is at yours, or when she is going to yours. You say that she wets herself on purpose. I don't believe that is true, I find it very difficult to believe she is wetting in school for all her classmates to see on purpose. Often children (and adults) would rather pretend that it's a choice rather than something that they can't control.
I think that things are very difficult for your DSC and you all sound like you need a bit if help and support to sort it all out before your baby comes OP.
I honestly don't know why stepmums post on mumsnet about step problems.
Most of the mums don't have experience of trying to cope with other peoples children (it's wrong to call them other peoples children, it's also wrong to call them your children - they aren't and never will be).
There are other boards available.
Of course you are allowed to vent but I would take with a massive pinch of salt anyone who claims that 8 and 10 year olds are deliberately manipulative in such a knowing way. They are still quite little children and its far more likely they are expressing emotional upset in this way, rather than indulging in some Machiavellian plot agains the adults.
I tried hard not to post as I am aware the step parenting boards are a minefield on occasion.
Please read your posts back and imagine another woman writing about your children in this way.
Wetting, deliberate or otherwise, is an indicator of emotional difficulties and stress.
'obstinate little sod'
'smacked the pair of them'
These are somebody's children you are talking about. How would your DH feel if he read these posts?
I know the OP is struggling, but why are we mollycoddling her when the children are the vulnerable party?
Or imagine a man who would be so jubilant when his partner's children could not visit for a fortnight?
It's a disgusting attitude, frankly.
I have said the same about the wetting til she told her dad it was deliberate and dss said she does it at home lots and their mum shouts at her. I think neither mum nor dp want to think it a result of their split etc tbh.
Dp is aware of how I feel as we talk a lot. I have used the same terminology to him.
I am not the evil witch some of u r making me out to be. I am however tired and ready for them to go home.
dejected thank you for your support. It's nice to know there are some ppl on these boards who aren't vile to you when you want to vent! I nr need to push for sleepover, in-laws have been dropping less than subtle hints yesterday so will be asking them to make good for sure, esp if I am still poorly.
This is a place to rant, though, saying things you wouldn't dream of expressing to those directly involved.
bumply that was my apparently incorrect understanding.
Ppl seem to forget they are only getting a snapshot of what I have had to put up with this week
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