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Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Step-parenting

How much rights does a 14yr old have

15 replies

starzzz · 28/04/2010 16:26

If a 14yr old wants to live with one parent and not the other (parents split up), does / can he have any say at all?

Sorry for being vague, dont want to give too much away.

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BigBadMummy · 28/04/2010 16:28

I don't think they can to be honest. Not without a proper legal "fight". You do hear of cases where children bring their own legal challenges but I am sure they are costly.

I am pretty sure that as they are minors until 16 they have to "do as their parents say" to a certain extent.

Though I may be wrong.

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mumblechum · 28/04/2010 16:28

Yes. If it goes to court the court will order a cafcass report and one of the main factors for a 14 yr old would be that child's wishes and feelings.

In order for the cafcass officer to get involved, one or other parent would have to file an application for a residence order.

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starzzz · 28/04/2010 16:47

thanks... so no parent has more say than the other?

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BitOfFun · 28/04/2010 16:50

No, not really at that age, it's more or less up to the child. I suppose if one parent can demonstrate the other to be very unfit or something, they would take that into account too.

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starzzz · 28/04/2010 16:56

We dont really want it to go to court. The 14yr old wants the same as us, but the other parent wants something different.

Very frustrating!

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sarah293 · 28/04/2010 17:00

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GetOrfMoiLand · 28/04/2010 17:05

I think at 14 the child's considerations are taken into account.

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BigBadMummy · 28/04/2010 17:41

I stand corrected by wiser MNetters.

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mjinhiding · 28/04/2010 19:07

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starzzz · 29/04/2010 16:13

Thanks for your help everyone, i will look deeper into this

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mjinhiding · 29/04/2010 19:30

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Latootle · 16/05/2010 16:36

I think the childs wishes should be taken into account let them move in with you and unless it is better they will soon go home. there must be reasons and teenagers are very vunerable. give it a try.

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mummynumber2 · 11/06/2010 23:16

Know this is quite an old thread but I just wanted to say that my 14yo DSD has just done exactly that. She was actually 13 at the time and she just decided she would rather be living with us. It started off with her very bravely I think, telling her mum she was going to spend half the time with us and it had since grown into her being here pretty much all the time. I have no idea what would have happened if her mum had decided to legally contest this. I'm just glad she didn't.

Funnily enough, having had legal advice in the past, it may have been much more difficult for us to get to this situation by going to court.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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ladydeedy · 07/07/2010 15:24

I'm in this situation myself where my husband's stepson has come to live with us. It was his (SS) decision. The mother doesnt like it but all legal advice we have been given is that at 14, the child's wishes and feelings are paramount and no court will ever (without exceptional reasons) send him to go back and live with her. It's just not enforceable.
if the child is happy, and the other parent (where the child wants to live) is happy, then there's really not a lot the other parent can do. The best interest of the child is the key issue.