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Step-parenting

Ive failed ...........im gutted .

6 replies

Valiant1 · 17/02/2009 13:10

As i sit here writing this my dsd is upsairs packing her stuff ,and dh is at her grandmothers 'sorting things out ' ..I'm such a failer why couldnt i just exept she was gona lie to us and get on with it ? I'm sorry this may not make sence but all we asked her to do was sort her colege out and forget about lads till she is acepted onto next years course and she agreed but has been seeing some one and now wants to live with nanay as she says its ok to sleep with every tom dick and harry ...sorry im ranting im in such a state ....im not mad just sad hoped things would be ok !!!

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HecateQueenOfGhosts · 17/02/2009 13:15

They still may be.

How old is she? Is it really reasonable to tell someone of college-going age that they are not allowed to form intimate relationships? I think possibly that overstepped the mark.

Perhaps a bit of breathing space is for the best.

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Valiant1 · 17/02/2009 13:22

i just had a really hard life and we are so alike ... she 17 but very imature . When she has had boy friends in the past her college worked sufferd so bad her tutor rang us to see what was going on . i quit college 10yrs ago and ran of with a lad who turned out to be a wife beater {not dh now } and dont want that for her she only has three months left at college . then she could do what she wants ... i have tried the ok do what you want approach tryed to detach my self but she is so imature that i always end up 'doing' again sorry im ......i dont know eny more. ive really messed up .

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Haribosmummy · 17/02/2009 13:45

I don't think you've messed up.

You;ve tried your hardest. She is 17, and thinks she knows everything.

Where is her mum?

She will come round, in time. Can you try to talk to the GM to make sure she still has house rules?

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Valiant1 · 17/02/2009 14:24

Her mum died when she was 4 and has lived with her dad since on their own till we(my ds1)came along 5 years ago .my dh is on his way back from gm he went to 'sort things out ' she is so happy though happyer than i have seen her in ages .... maybe its for the best . im sure there will be rules at gm but how strick they are is another thing and as you can guess me and mil dont get on at all she says i took her gd away from her .. she looked after dsd whilst dh was at work .

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prettyfly1 · 17/02/2009 14:33

You havent failed but you have to understand that seventeen year olds need room to make thier own mistakes. I made much the same decision at her age and I messed up but nine years later i have turned it around and am now really succesful with a degree and beautiful kids. She needs room to breathe and she will see it as you judging her on your merits, which isnt really fair.

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Valiant1 · 18/02/2009 21:44

her gm wouldnt have her and we seem to have agreed to some terms i just hope it works ... i think if i distance myself from her a bit instead of been like doing for her and expecting thanks and lossen up a bit we should be fine fingers crossed !! thank you all ...wish me luck