inheritance issues

[mummygirl]

hi all,
I've never posted here before but I would like to ask something, I hope someone knows the answer.

DH has a son from a previous relationship. Unfortunately there were a lot of porblems there (long painful story that I won't bore you with), and DH never sees him anymore. We now live in another country, have three children of our own, pay monthly maintenance (little above csa levels) and we're about to buy our own house.

DH's ex is a money-grabbing witch, and we worry that if we both died while our children are still young she'd try to get part of the house, which we don't want.

We discussed about making a will, could she challenge the will? (dh is on birth certificate). Should we just buy the house in my name?

Please, I don't want this to turn into an argument about the ethics of our decisions, the story itself and the whys and hows should be an entirely different thread.

Does anyone knowhow to go about this?

Thank you
mummygirl

Does anyone

[ElenorRigby]

I think you probably need to talk to a solicitor for this.
Also try this site. You will probably find someone who has similar experience there. Good Luck

[Tinker]

She couldn't inherit anything if they are now divorced. If you both died, children would inherit and that would include his eldest son. You really need to make a will.

[6inchnipples]

i think his son has a legal right to claim his share of his fathers estate.

It wouldn't be his ex tho it would be his son that would get it. She couldn't just take the money for herself, it wouldn't work like that.

[Twims]

If DH's son is under 18 he legally has to provide for him in his will - however if DSS is over 18 and the same can be said about any of YOUR children too - once they are over 18 they don;t have to be provided with any of the money/estate etc.

I would make a will and please think about leaving DSS something in the will - My sister was given a large amount of money / half share of the estate when my dad died plus other stuff yet I was left nothing - think of the implications to DSS.

[2rebecca]

It depends where you live. In Scotland children do have a right to some of a parents assets. I'm not sure if a will would overrule that and it was just if you died intestate that they get a proportion even if you have remarried. I'd dicuss you both seeing a solicitor. Husband and I must make wills, mainly to ensure the children from our previous marriages do get a decent amount if something happens to one of us. My husband isn't that fond of my son so I'd want to ensure he was protected, as we both work so our children will need the money more than th 2 of us.
You can leave money in trust until a certain age though. That gets round the ex spending it all on a cruise situation. The certain age probably differs between scotland and England as well.

[mummygirl]

thank you all for your replies ladies.

I think you're right, we're gonna have to see a solicitor

we have made different arrangements for ss in england, so he will inherit, but now we both live and work in Italy and we bought this house outright and it's the safety net for our children should something happen to us.
we also have an insurance policy that makes sure that bm will be receiving maintenance until ss is 18 if dh dies.

we worry because bm is a horrible person who has chosen for her son to live without his wonderful father in his life only out of spite. a tragic loss for a little innocent boy if you ask me. and god knows what he'll grow up hearing about his father.
we're sure that she'd have no problem trying to screw our children over just for the sake of it.
So it's not about leaving nothing to ss, but making sure that she doesn't try to get part of the house for him, as he'll be getting his fair share of our money. and we hope that one day we'll get the chance to tell him that we think about him every single day (we do send presents and cards very oftne but god knows what he receives and what he's told)

Thank you all again

[Haribosmummy]

You can make whatever will you like.

Unless you make provisions for his son, then the son (or his mother on his behalf) can contest the will.

The amount of money he should be left (as a minimum) to avoid him being able to contest a will is the amount of money he would have been paid had you lived (therefore, the amount of money you are currently paying each month until whatever cut off date has been agreed - 18 or 21 would be a good bet)

If you don't allow that for this boy in the will, then you will leave yourself wide open for the will to be contested.

Over and above this, you can divide the assets as you see fit.

HM

[wildfish]

Just saw this. If you name a trustee for the estate, then the trustee will look after the money while the ss is under the specified age. Then he gets his share, but the mum has no rights over it. So e.g. name a trusted family member (or two) as trustees. They ensure the money is looked after, provide son with what is necessary and in his best interests. (You can appoint solicitors also - but they take a chunk)

[amiunderstanding]

HB, can you clarify this a bit?

in the example of the op, where there are four children involved, if the amount of maintenance the op's dh would have paid for the rest of the agreed term is more than a quarter of the estate, (or arguably considerably less than that if both parents were to divide their share up between each of thir children - so the op's share was divided by 3 (she has 3 dcs) and her dp's by 4 (he has 4 dcs)) then the dcs from the current marriage could be forced to inherit a lesser share so that dss could inherit more - an equivalent amount to what his maintenance would have been?

that sounds terribly unfair on 3 orphaned dcs...

[Haribosmummy]

OK, I will use my situation because this is the one I know that this is true for:

My Dh has a CO in place to pay his ex a certain amount of maintenence for her and child support for the kids.

In his will, he MUST leave AT LEAST the amount they would have recieved had he lived or they are legally able to contest the will.

Obviously, if he has much less and leaves the amount equally amoung the three children, then they may or may not be successful (we were told they would probably be successful, even if this meant OUR son was left with less or nothing)

If he had more, then they would CERTAINLY be successful and could then sue for a third each to 'equal' things up.

So, the will MUST contain AT LEAST the monies the child could have expected if the parent had lived.

We've been told that by two different solicitors. But, DH does have a CO (not CSA or personal agreement)

[amiunderstanding]

ok...it would be interesting to know if anyone has an understanding of this situation if the dw has dcs and the dh has dcs, but they have none together...

would this then mean that what would in effect be the dw's half of the estate - should both die - could be cut into to make up what the dh would have paid in maintenance if they hadn't died, so her dcs get less?

and if the dh dies could the dw be forced to sell the home etc to pay the dh's exw what she would have expected for her dcs?

what I'm really asking is this: is it possible that whatever wills we have in place, if my dh dies, his money-grabbing ex who already sits on her backside all day while we both work to pay her huge sums of money every month (much, much more than we would be forced to do) could force me and my dcs out of our home if the assets he leaves to his dcs are not as much as he would have forseeably paid in maintenance??

and does anyone know if this would be worked out on the basis of what the CSA would order be paid, or what is volunatrily paid?

[amiunderstanding]

This seems really complicated...but there aren't a hundred MNers on here in confusion so it is obviously just me!

With these complicated situations, can any old solicitor (who does wills) advise you on your will or do you need a special one?

[mummygirl]

amiunderstanding, I'm quite confused as well. And as we live in another country'but are both british citizens, I don't even know what laws apply to us.

We have an insurance in place that covers maintenance until ss is 18.

BUT, if the house were to be in my name, can Greedy Monster contest the will? That surely wouldn't seem right. Or would it????

[Haribosmummy]

AFAIK, if the will covers the monies that WOULD have been paid, then no matter what else is left, there is very little legal ground to contest the will.

It's only if that stipulation ISN'T met that there are grounds for contest.

[independiente]

Perhaps a better way is to set up a life insurance policy in a trust for your stepchildren, with nominated trustees. This amount would hopefully then cover the maintenance should the worst happen, without your dc risking getting little to nothing from the share of the estate. Would that work?

[independiente]

Oh sorry, just seen that you've done that. I think your ss would in that case be entitled to an equal share of the estate, but not any more than your children (so: a quarter?). So the fact that you've covered the maintenance with an insurance policy should mean it's ok. If your spouse dies before you, you automatically inherit the estate. On your death, your estate is split between your children unless otherwise stipulated in the will, I think.

[JJsandcat]

Can I just butt in and ask what monies would have been paid by the deceased father to the one child from a previous relationship? I'm just curious as to how high that sum is. I have a step sis who's a fair bit older. My Dad doesn't have contact with her and that's a mutual understanding. My Dad is unwilling for her to inherit anything due to past ishoos...so if the situation is as it stands she wouldn't have received a penny from him anyway and she hasn't, so she cannot contest the will if she gets nothing. That somehow seems wrong to me. I'm confused.

[amiunderstanding]

once the dc is an adult the parent can leave or not leave money to them - I think there is only a legal necessity if they should/would be paying maintenance

[Haribosmummy]

JJsandcat - If their agreement was for her to recieve nothing, then as long as your dad documents that, then she can be left nothing.

It's because my DH has a CO to his kids that he HAS to provide that money from his estate.

And, yes, AFAIK, once they are adults there is no legal requirement.

but, presumably, she is your half sister? If your dad isn't HER dad (is her step dad) then I can't see why she would have any right to his estate anyway.

[JJsandcat]

Ah, I see AIU. Thanks, was genuinely confused. She is my half sister, yes (also confused which words to use). I last saw her when I was 4. She was never close. Thanks HB.