christmas with stepkids

[unpaidcleaner]

..dreading it already..she's 26, he's 22, plus her 3 yr old, & dh and our 2 girls, all cooped up together for 3 days in too-small house, dh and me working like slaves, cooking, cleaning and entertaining. although theyre adults they don't lift a finger to help, never contribute financially, they are like another 2 kids. Dreading it and it's only September .. sorry to moan. dont know how i'm going to get through it.

[Spidermama]

You have to get them to help. Spell it out. Give them specific jobs or better still get your dh to. It's unacceptable and unhealthy for people THIS age not to help out. For everyone's sake, make them.

[Spidermama]

I think adults visiting other adults for three days should contribute financially by bringing along, say, wine or champagne and food contributions.

[unpaidcleaner]

spidermama, that is what i meant about contributing financially. that is what any adult would do, but it seems not to apply here. i've no idea why they never think of it. mind you they dont even remember my birthday!!

[unpaidcleaner]

I have a secret thought in my head about Christmas - now that the kids are technically adults, instead of sleeping on our living room floor, couldn't they stay in a hotel nearby (plenty of decent ones in walking distance), and come over for the day, obviously for meals etc over Xmas..do you think that's really awful of me? I wouldn't dare suggest it to dh. Mind you, even if they did we'd have to pay for it...so i guess it's a bad idea!

[beansprout]

You need to talk to your dh about what would be a fairer approach. It's tricky as if he thinks you are rejecting them, he won't like it, but I don't think you are BU to not relish this prospect.

If you are dreading it in September though, it's clearly not good, so you really must try and speak to him.

[AlwaysTheMummy]

The thing is, these are children anymore, they are adults, your stepdaughter is a year younger than me and I'd never behave like that at my dad and stepmums house, they just need to be told - but by your dh.

My stepdaughter is 12 and doesn't act like that either.

I hope you can get your point across with offence and that you have a lovely xmas xx