Another child?

(4 Posts)
Menssanaincorporesano Wed 09-Nov-16 23:46:55

I have a 10 year old DS and two slightly older stepdaughters. I'd quite like another child- I'm fairly broody but not massively so.
I'm worried about the effect on my/our lives if we have another.
I'm worried about the effect on my son (who btw really wants a brother/sister but not sure he really understands how it will effect him), my dsds, and the impact on my relationship.

I know that every relationship's different, but I do wonder how it is when you have step children, and then have one of your own. Do the others feel left out? My son and dsds seem to be very cognisant of the step-nature of their relationship and as I'm not massively broody, I'm not sure what to do.

( my husband would love another).

Any perspectives appreciated.

MycatsaPirate Wed 09-Nov-16 23:50:36

My dp has two DD's and I have two DD's and when we got together four years ago I was 43. I wanted a baby with him, but I knew that it just wasn't right for us as a family.

We were already stretched trying to cope with four girls who were all battling for attention and coping with the new family dynamic. It wasn't right for us at all.

But if you are young enough and want one and the three dc already get on ok and are happy then at least talk to the two oldest and ask how they'd feel. I am not a great believer in letting dc make massive decisions on behalf of the whole family but I do think it would be wise to sound out how they would react to the news of a pregnancy.

Finally, my youngest is now 11. I am glad I don't have a four year old in two now. We are finally getting life on track and having a bit more freedom to do things.

Menssanaincorporesano Wed 09-Nov-16 23:54:49

Mycatsapirate that's kind of what I wanted to hear. Thank you.

MycatsaPirate Thu 10-Nov-16 00:07:43

I'm still in awe at how much support the older ones need. My oldest DSD is 21 but she still calls regularly (mainly saying 'daaaad! How do you fix the hoover?). His 13 year old has turned into a typical 13 year old and is refusing to talk to anyone. My 18 year old is off to uni in the new year but still needs a lot of emotional support as well as dp helping her learn to drive in between lessons and my 11 year old is being assessed for ASD.

DP had a cat when we got together. We now have four. My baby substitutes grin

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