Help with stepdaughter

(2 Posts)
Coffeeandcakeplease16 Tue 25-Oct-16 21:10:04

I am new to all this but I'm literally out of ideas. I have a 3 year old daughter, and my partner and I have been together for 7 years. I also have a 14 year old stepdaughter. Up until about a year ago I thought we were very lucky and had a happy home life. My stepdaughter split her time between us and her mum. I had a very good relationship with her, and she bonded very well with her half sister. But in the last year everything has changed. She point blank refuses to come to our house. She says she feels left out, and she says horrible things about me. When I've tried to leave her and her dad to have alone time together she says it's because I don't want her around, she won't spend time alone with me (and we used to; shopping trips etc) she's dismissive of her sister even though she is adored by her. My partner still sees her alone (picks her up from school and takes her for tea) he tells me it's nothing personal it's just her age and she just wants to be with her friends. However she's happy to sleepover at her grandparents and aunts house. I've done as much as I can for her over the years, and looking back I can't honestly think of anything I would have done differently. I just feel hurt and confused and I don't know what to anymore. I message her frequently even though I know they will be ignored. I don't know where to go from here.

Wdigin2this Tue 25-Oct-16 21:22:11

Oh, I'm really sorry you're going through this! It is probably her age....hormones and all that, but that won't make you feel any less hurt I know!
Not sure what to say other than, be quite frank with your DP that a) you are feeling really sad that his DD has developed this attitude towards you, and b) even is she doesn't come to your home, your daughter is her sister, and perhaps just now and again your DP should insist that, at least the three of them do something together!
It probably will sort itself out, but all you can do is ensure your DP understands, that she may have decided you're the big bad witch for now, but neither of you should allow her to be openly rude or nasty to you!

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