Hi all, new here although I have been lurking for a while :) I'm a step mum of a brilliant little girl, and have a fantastic relationship with my partner. I was just wondering if anyone has had similar feelings to me, and if so, did they ever go away? My partner and I have talked about having children quite a lot in the past six months, and it's beginning to become more of a real possibility, but every now and then, I cannot shake some horrible feelings about not being able to share the first time we both have a child. I've wanted children since I was one myself, and I have always imagined it with rose-tinted glasses on. However, I can't help but feel that maybe I will be comparing myself in those moments to my partner's past experiences, and I find it incredibly upsetting that he already has another mother of his child, and he won't be sharing the same emotions as me (nerves and disbelief and new feelings he's never felt before). I have spoken to my partner about this before briefly, and he has tried to comfort me by saying that when I'm pregnant or giving birth or whatever, that won't even be on my mind, because I'll have a baby of my very own inside me, and it will be the first time he has planned to have a child and with someone he loves. He has expressed concern though that it does seem to upset me quite a bit sometimes, and maybe I shouldn't have children with someone who already has them if that is how I feel. I have thought long and hard in the past, and he is the man I love and want to spend my life with, and years later, I know that it won't matter any more. However, I don't know how to get over these feelings! Also, how did you deal with thoughts of wanting a different hospital and a different birthday and a different gender just to make it as dissimilar as possible to the first time? Does anyone have any advice or experience they can share that might help? Many thanks :)
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