Practical help with SD

(5 Posts)
Betsybackwater Sat 15-Oct-16 18:14:30

My partner is the stereotypical Disney dad. We have been together a few years now and initially my relationship with his daughter was good. However, it's going ( gone) downhill very badly over the past year or so that I now just find myself avoiding her. Completely. As she is getting older her behaviour is getting worse. I don't blame her as such. She's spoiled rotten. But her dad doesn't see it and we are rowing often over it now. Anyone got any ideas?? Either on how to improve relationship with her or get support from him??

ImperialBlether Sat 15-Oct-16 18:18:07

Doesn't it put you off him, OP? Do you plan to have children together?

Betsybackwater Sat 15-Oct-16 19:35:02

He's wonderful. I do find our relationship takes about four days to recover after one of her visits ( every other weekend at the mo) but after a few years I can happily say that his daughter is one of his weak points for generally a really decent bloke. However. It is becoming a really big problem in our relationship. And considering more kids but not certain.....

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone Sat 15-Oct-16 23:24:36

As someone who has been there and done it, please don't have children. I would walk away. It's likely he will feel more guilty if you have a child and it will actually exacerbate the 'Disney Dad' treatment.
My DP spends money we don't have on his children and they get treated far better than our own because our children live with him which apparently makes up for it, despite the fact he works long hours and weekends when he doesn't have his DC.
I'm massively resentful of the situation. His ex makes it much worse and I've just got to a stage where I can't see them anymore for my own sanity.

Bananasinpyjamas1 Sat 15-Oct-16 23:24:54

Perhaps really think about how much you can tolerate and accept. Draw up a list of what provokes your arguments.

Do you think there is anything he could agree to? One thing?
Is there anything in return you could do, anything positive with your DSD, even a small thing, like a regular tv program you could watch together, she comes with you to choose a take away, anything? Then spend the rest of the weekend avoiding them but having fun elsewhere?

Imagine yourself in 5 years time, what one thing that you, not DP could do now about thus situation would make the most difference to your peace of mind in 5 years time?

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