Tell me what you LIKE about being a Step Parent?

(36 Posts)
WashingMatilda Fri 09-Sep-16 15:28:30

The more help I reach out for the more negative and downtrodden stories I seem to read! All we seem to hear about is the turmoil, the resentment, the guilt, the 'I wouldn't do it if I had my time again'

Can you tell me your nice stories please? What do you like about being a stepparent? wine

Lambly Fri 09-Sep-16 17:54:05

I love arranging fun activities for us all to do at the weekend and I love watching DSD really enjoy herself on a day out that I've arranged.

I love how well she gets on with my sister and the amazing little friendship and bond that they have created.

I love the fact she is a complete Daddy's girl and the lovely bond the 2 of them have which is lovely to watch.

I love the way we have our own little inside jokes and watching her grow into being her own little person which has become really apparent in the three years I've known her.

And I'm respectful of the way that, despite her mother parenting her in a very, very different way to how I would chose to parent a child, her mum has never interfered or got involved in how DSD and I interact.

However it's bloody hard work and most weeks the good and the bad balance themselves out! Probably wouldn't do it again if I'm being honest.

Evilstepmum01 Fri 09-Sep-16 18:29:56

Ok. good point about negative stepmum posts!
What I like about being a stepmum.....
I love how my DSD gets on so well with our DS-they have a lovely relationship and she is very good at helping him if needed.
I love how she holds my hand and looks up to me
I love her pride in herself when I've taught her how to do something for herself (her mum doesnt parent that way or very much sadly)
I love the way she is part of our family despite only being here half the week
I hope she realises I love her-I do tell her and hug her and try my damnedest to make sure she is happy although it isnt easy. Especially with bitter ex-wife (no im not OW, ex-W had OM-well other men)
I wouldnt do it again but she did not ask to be in this situation.
Im not perfect, there are weeks where my depression kicks in and I need space, but my DH is aware and usually steps in and takes them out.

Basically, you're a step parent because you love your DH and by extension their child. You choose to love someone elses child and its tricky.
I just say shes a lucky girl to have so many people who love her!

Honestly thats why I joined MN-to rant about it and hopefully hear other stories and for the support. Just dont post in AIBU!! grin

Evilstepmum01 Fri 09-Sep-16 18:34:07

Oh-I also love when I teach her something (I did a lot of her speech therapy homework and still do) and her therapist said I was awesome! Usually her DM revels in the glory, so its nice to be appreciated and to know I'm doing something to help her.

Evilstepmum01 Fri 09-Sep-16 18:34:11

Oh-I also love when I teach her something (I did a lot of her speech therapy homework and still do) and her therapist said I was awesome! Usually her DM revels in the glory, so its nice to be appreciated and to know I'm doing something to help her.

cloudyday99 Sat 10-Sep-16 09:12:48

I love the bonds I see between my DC and the DSC. I love how DD's life in particular has been enhanced by having a sister.

I often enjoy the large family chatter and banter over dinner. Always lots to talk about.

And I like it when I manage to teach one of them something new, like cooking which neither their mum nor my DH had really bothered to do. Great when they can do it for themselves.

mixety Sat 10-Sep-16 17:22:22

I love that I have gained an extended family, because we get on really well with DSS's mum/husband/grandparents. I really enjoy the occasions we are all together for DSS's birthday and other get togethers. They really do feel like family to me.

I love that I don't have (or really want) children of my own, but I get a little taste of it with DSS.

I love playing board games and card games with DSS and DP.

It is fascinating seeing DSS grow and change, and become his own person. He can be very funny, and is generally a really good boy. I think I'm very lucky to have him as my DSS, especially in light of reading about so many really tough stepchild experiences on this board.

CannotEvenDeal Sat 10-Sep-16 20:45:27

People told me I was crazy to take on dh and a then 2yo dss at the age of 23.

But honestly, I love my boy so much that I would definitely do it all again.

He's 12 now and lives with us full-time. My dh's exw chose to go NC with him years ago, as did her whole family. Totally their loss. I couldn't wish for a better son.

I love cheering him on at sports events, painstakingly hiding Christmas and birthday presents around the house and seeing his face when I bring home his favourite treats as a surprise from the shops on the way home from work.

I've always had dh's support though, and I find that that is usually the deciding factor. We're trying for our first baby together but I'll definitely become a mother of 2 and we're strongly considering looking into adoption for me and dss smile

Bananasinpyjamas1 Sun 11-Sep-16 14:12:50

Well even if it didn't work out that well for me, it is great to read how it can work for others! Really nice and very pleased for all above posters. smile

howtodowills Tue 13-Sep-16 10:18:09

I like it when SD goes back to her mums

Does that count?

(Sorry, bad day today sad)

Maybe83 Tue 13-Sep-16 10:28:00

I love watching my SS with his little sister. I have enjoyed watching him grow from a nervous withdrawn teen to a loverly young man. I love Sunday mornings when they are all here making a big breakfast and then Sunday sports on the sofa with toddler dd running around asking him to play with her. Our randomly saying I love my big brother xxx.

Our youngest dd was quite ill recently and I couldn't be prouder of him and my teen dd pulling together to get our house sorted together for her coming home and both of them delighted to see her and how excited she was to see them both.

Dh and I are very happy and lucky i think.I'm sitting here planning our month of December arranging the different things we ll fit in with them all and their christmas lists. We both went from single parents to a child each to family with 3 children it's busy but fun overall.

ridingsixwhitehorses Tue 13-Sep-16 10:28:36

F

Puddleduckthe2nd Tue 13-Sep-16 13:19:52

I like how our relationship has grown over the years, when I first meet them I found the whole thing daunting and frightening but 6 years down the line, they make me smile and I look forward to seeing them.

I also love the relationship they have with their little brother, there is a 10 year age gap between ds and my dsc but they are so sweet and kind to him and they genuinely have a lovely bond with him. He absolutely adores them too.

Bobochic Tue 13-Sep-16 13:22:11

I like what terrific big brothers my DD has.
I like that they have grown and developed in part due to my input and that they are the sort of boys/students that other parents admire, and that make us proud (and relieved)!

ridingsixwhitehorses Tue 13-Sep-16 14:08:31

This is a lovely thread

lotsoffreckles Tue 13-Sep-16 15:23:20

I get to love them and they choose to love me that's the best bit....

We have fun, we giggle, we tease their Dad and I get to see all the Disney films at the cinema smile

Don't get me wrong I wish I could go back in time 6 years and tell myself that it will be ok and that being a Step Mum will make me the person Iam today and the 1st couple of years of sacrifices and compromise will be totally worth it for the relationship you now have with you're DSD's and their Mum.

Im currently 11 weeks pregnant I can't wait to tell them and watch them be big sisters xx

Throughgrittedteeth Tue 13-Sep-16 15:32:39

This is lovely to read smile
Did any of you watch the Sewing Bee? There was a lovely bit where one of the contestants brought in her DC's step mother as a model; she started crying when explaining their relationship and said she was one of the most important people in her DC's lives as she is kind and patient. Brought a tear to my eye!

lotsoffreckles Tue 13-Sep-16 15:42:26

Yep I cried at that bit too Through although I had just started stabbing myself with IVF drugs so my emotions were all over the place grin

Evilstepmum01 Tue 13-Sep-16 21:45:05

Congratulations lotsoffreckles I'm sure they'll be delighted! We took DSD to scans and midwife appointments to hear DS's heartbeat-she was so chuffed!
howtodowills we all have days like that! flowers and hugs x
today my DSD goes back to her mum till Fri, our DS is soo upset again, Tuesdays are hard for him. (sometimes they're my wine nights tho!)

Loving the honesty on this thread! This is why I joined MN-there just isnt any non-judgemental support for step parents.

NZmonkey Tue 13-Sep-16 22:20:23

I like that i can basically be a Disney step mum. I can do all the fun stuff with DSD who is 5 but I don't have to be the one to tell her to go to bed, or hurry up and get dressed or eat her veges etc. That is for her dad to do. I also like that if i do have to tell her these things she does listen to me.

I also like that we have so many fun things we can do together baking, swimming, gardening, I taught her to ride her bike and now we are teaching her to ice skate. I love that my family have accepted her completely and that DSD calls my mum nana and my dad grandad.

howtodowills I also like it when DSD goes home to mums, its the best part about step parenting. I get to have a bit of a double life, one in which i get the best of both worlds part time parenting and part time a care free adult doing all my own things.

princessjonsie67 Wed 28-Sep-16 14:47:08

that they are not mine and I know I haven't raised them so can take none of the blame for how they have turned out

howtodowills Wed 28-Sep-16 15:03:04

I often thank my lucky stars SD isn't my daughter. Would be mortified to have such a rude child

princessjonsie67 Wed 28-Sep-16 16:06:21

howtodowills : I hear you on that one

LemonSqueezy0 Wed 28-Sep-16 20:33:11

I love the lovely family time I contribute and commit to, that's balanced with weekends just with my OH where we can have more of a 'selfish' attitude. I love that, despite the best and consistant intentions of the ExW my SC has been absolutely loving and welcoming towards me and has committed to our family set up 100%. I love how my OH has made it work, and has never excluded me, or taken me for granted (or at least accepts it immediately if I say I need a bit of time to myself) if we ever have children it's let me know how good a Dad he is and how I won't be expected to do 'all the heavy lifting' myself.

LemonSqueezy0 Wed 28-Sep-16 20:34:49

Lovely to have such a nice, positive thread - well done for starting it wink

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