There's been some issues over the years with her not treating my kids the same as their 2 younger ones and by that I mean leaving them out of stuff, they are not allowed to stay at their house for over night stays, instead ex has to take them to his mum's and they are also not allowed to have much to do with their little half sister like they're not allowed to pick her up or cuddle her without permission.
The final straw was the other day when the kids came home from a day out with them very upset because the sm had said things about me to the kids about my financial situation and how my ds had offered me petrol money to help him get to his new job in the next town (very late finishes). I shouldn't be accepting this apparantly and I was a terrible mother who needed to sort her priorities out...and then I had a face book rant about maintenance from her saying that in her opinion her husband should no longer be paying maintenance as they were now 14 and 16 and big enough to stand on their own too feet, I was bleeding him and her family dry and I should get a back bone and support myself. Now me and my dp work, he works full time nights and I work part time cleaning. I gave up my career and we'll paid job to bring up my kids and ds 16 has aspergers and adhd which caused me to have a breakdown a few years back. She said my parenting was the cause of his issues and if she had her way maintenance would be stopped.
How do I handle her? The kids dread seeing their dad, as she is there for meals and stuff, I've never ran down their dad in front of my teens but it's so hard not too, ex just doesn't say a word when she starts which enrages my son and causes him to have a meltdown which I then get slagged off for. Please help, my kids are so miserable
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Exs partner resenting my teenagers, how do I handle this
blackheartsgirl · 07/08/2016 13:45
She is vindictive! And I say that as a step mum. How dare she.
You are completely entitled to protect yourself and your children. It's a good idea to keep evidence of all of her rankings in one place. If you can, build a virtual wall around you and your children.
Block her Facebook. Tell your kids truthfully that it is not good behaviour to criticize another parent. Tell them that you do not do this about her, and talk to them in general about relationships.
Be open about what you are doing, and guard against the temptation to slag her off back. Get the support of friends. If there is any good relationship between you and your EX, talk to him about this.
Good luck. 
I've tried talking to the ex as without her around he's more open and reasonable but for some reason he's never alone anymore but I hit a blank wall when it comes to her, it's so weird when they were first together she seemed really nice but as soon as she had her little girl she changed, her oldest isn't my exes.
She even messaged me once to demand what exactly I spent the maintenance money on 
She isn't well liked within the exes family. Dd confided in her aunt yesterday about the situation (exs sister) and there has been some issues there too but I'm not getting involved with that.
I have blocked her on facebook and ds has told his dad today that they no longer wish to see her only their dad which he's not happy about but hey
I'm a step mum myself and I know that sm behaviour isn't right but she's one of these women that has lot of friends and hangers on, we all live in the same largish village and share mutual friends which is so awkward. I'd never ever treat my sdaughters like this or slag off their mum even if I don't see eye to eye with her.
That's disgusting, I really feel for you. Document everything as a pp said.
Your finances are none of their bloody business, council house or mansion!
My husband and I have court-ordered residence of his son from his first marriage. His ex and her husband have maintained that no children support should be paid because we earn higher wages than them. 
Her second husband never gave dss the time of day and he was banned from staying with his mum. He too was miserable for a while but now they've both said that after several years of no direct contact with dss, I should adopt him so that they can officially be a child-free couple and then try for their own baby. They said that it is in his best interests because I can love a child who is not biologically mine but her husband cannot and they will not contest it if I apply
She had the same argument about the maintenance being spent on clothes and shoes..it doesn't work like that, theirs goes towards keeping a roof over their head, food, electric and rent, clothes and shoes are second. She really really hates this but she doesn't get it. My partners maintenance goes towards a similar thing in his exes house and I understand that.
It's a different partner Iamabitnosey. The 16 year old girl lasted 8 years, this is the newest relationship.
I am very close to my stepdaughters, I have 2 younger dds and they have been involved with them since they were born which is how it should be, it makes me mad to see how my teens are treated.
I will start documenting everything she says and does, I really have done my best with the kids, it's not been easy with ds disabilities and coping with my own mental health, my kids are not neglected by a long shot. Why am i trying to defend myself 
My ex never says one word. He rarely joins in the slagging off but thinks ds offering me some of his wages for petrol is terrible and shows how disorganised and chaotic I am, truth is money is extremely tight at the moment and I can barely afford petrol money fpto my own job let alone ds. They both are on good wages, far better than mine, yet it's a tiny amount he pays, I've never asked for more
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