Help! SS is potentially being neglected....(7 Posts)
Hey, Hoping to get some advice on a rather sensitive issue, so please bare with me... and sorry for the long long post!!!
So my partner has got an almost 2 year old with his ex (i have a 6 year old myself) Him and his ex have always had a pretty rocky relationship and she has a tendency to blow up if he ever talks to her about anything.
Lately we've been noticing more and more problems with the child. His development is rather behind anyway; but we accepted that every child develops differently until when he is with us he speaks much more, picks up new words and generally is far more engaged.
He jumps at the tiniest things and clings to me for dear life; even the sound of a seagull or the wind blowing slightly too hard has him jumping. We know that her now ex partner had a bit of a temper; so when my partner asked if he maybe banged around or slammed doors which may have made littlen a bit jumpy she went off the rails thinking he was accusing the partner of abusing the child etc which is definitely not what he thought. He was just trying to work out if there was a reason for the sons reaction.
They have now split up so at least that's one thing less to worry about. However, little things are now adding up and it's becoming a concern as to whether the child is being neglected.
For instance; over 6 weeks ago we told her that his shoes were way too small; we even bought him new ones. (which we never saw again) He is still being sent to us in the same shoes! So much so that we've bought another pair just for at our house that we change him into as soon as he comes around to us. When he asked her why he's still wearing them she went nuts saying she's had him measured and they're fine (they're most definitely not, his toes are all bent in them and his feet are red raw when we take them off him plus he can't walk properly in them!)
Then there's the bottles and sippy cups. (now i'm not agreed with him having bottles at this age nor is my partner but that's not so much the issue!) There is mould growing within the teets and around the rubber top where the child puts his mouth! Not just a little! A lot! Add in that she sent a bottle with some water for him to drink that had dregs of milk floating around in it! I have soaked and scrubbed all of them that come round to me and even bought new ones myself as I refuse to let him drink from that and make him sick!
His stuff is constantly just thrown in a carrier bag; cheapest nappies and wipes and yet she walks around in the latest clothes; asking if we like her new outfit and she permanently has nail extensions that are changing design/colour bi weekly! Now neither of us would mind, but both myself and partner work full time jobs while she doesn't work at all and yet she can afford to buy stuff for herself, go out and get drunk but can't even put him in clothes that fit or keep him substantially equipped with clean cups etc!
Every time my partner even mentions anything she just goes insane and flies off the rail and threatens to stop him seeing him. I don't talk to her about it all as I feel it would be overstepping my mark; but when I'm buying nappies, clothes, cups etc for the child (which I wouldn't mind doing) but it's because she's neglecting to do any of it, it's becoming hard to bear.
My partner spoke to the grandmother as he was aware that the child was being passed around to the mum, and her (shes in her 80's and definitely not able to keep up with little man) She has only emphasised his concerns, in saying that the dad, mum and herself have all been going mad at the mother of child, because all she does is go on her phone, go out and bring boys around the child.
I'm sorry for such a long post and it doesn't even cover the half of it, but what should we do? Has anyone else had any similar problems as we are considering getting a solicitors advice and potentially going for custody of the little boy as we know we can offer him a stable, loving home. I would never want to take a child away from the mother but my partner is worrying night and day about his son and how he is being raised and if he's safe! Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated!!!
Haven't you posted about this before. I seem to remember something like this.
Get your partner to buy the child shoes and contact SS
No i've only joined this site a couple of days ago
and we have bought him shoes, but she doesn't put him in them. We have to change him as soon as he comes to us.
Suggest you inform social services about the neglect of the child
I would go to the solicitors and see about residency or whatever it is called now.
If you truly think the child is at risk, start keeping a photo diary, which if you go to SS, you can show to them!
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