How many kids do you have?

(19 Posts)
EvangelineP Sat 09-Jul-16 11:05:15

Every time I get this question I fumble it. I used to say three because I have two stepkids and my son but that always gets some sort of follow up in which I have to clarify that the older two are my stepkids so I started saying I have two stepkids and one biological child but it feels awkward to say it that way. So - how do you introduce your family if you have a mix of kids?

Bananasinpyjamas1 Sun 10-Jul-16 02:18:18

It depends, I always say how many of my 'own' first, then followed by 'and X step kids'. I don't count them all as my kids, and neither would my partner. It's just the dynamic we have. I doubt our kids would count us steps as a parent either.

Chasingsquirrels Sun 10-Jul-16 10:39:21

2 (mine), I barely know DH's.
I've only ever heard DH say he has 2 (his) and CS has 2, he's never refered to them as his step kids in my hearing - I don't know when I'm not there to refer to them as CS's 2.

Shitonyoursofa Sun 10-Jul-16 18:29:22

I say none. Sometimes I follow it up with 'DH has one though', depending on who I'm talking to and what the context of the conversation is

Fooshufflewickbannanapants Sun 10-Jul-16 20:20:56

Always all 6 of them and so does my husband ( to me that's 5 bio and 1 step and to him 4 step and 2 bio)

6 is easier and we do all live together full time.

navylily Sun 10-Jul-16 20:42:27

I say "two of my own and 4 step kids" usually. Unless I really don't want to get into conversation in which case I just say two as that prevokes less comment.

If I simply say 6 people say Wow!, and I feel like a fraud as I've not actually produced 6 kids myself

WhoGivesAFlying Mon 11-Jul-16 11:07:22

I have one, my husband has 3

Fourormore Mon 11-Jul-16 11:10:11

I say "2 boys, 2 girls and 2 DSC". I'm pregnant at the moment so sometimes I'll say the new baby will be "our sixth child".

EvangelineP Mon 11-Jul-16 11:46:31

I'm pregnant as well and always say this will be our fourth child if my DSC are present as it feels rude to express it any other way. But if I'm on my own I will say this will be my second because it is my second pregnancy. I do consider my stepkids to be "ours" just not in the same way as "our" biological children. I wish there was a way to express it better that acknowledged that they have a mother but they are still a part of our family. I wouldn't say they are DHs kids because they are my DSC too. We all get along well and I have been in their lives for quite a long time. DS who is 4 recently became quite upset because I told someone his older brother is his half brother. He really didn't like it or understand that distinction.

Senac32 Mon 11-Jul-16 11:53:23

I think it depends whether the child's other parent is still alive, or in the picture.
We have 4 altogether, 3 of mine and one of his. Both other parents are still alive and maintain contact. And maybe the age of the child when the family comes together.
I tend to say we've got 4, but usually explain after. Their ages were 5,6,9 and 10 when we combined.

Sanityseeker75 Mon 11-Jul-16 12:39:56

I just say 4 between us, if asked to clarify further then I would explain dh has 3 and I have 1 but tbh that is ususally enough

CannotEvenDeal Mon 11-Jul-16 17:07:04

I agree with Senac32 about the other parent. My husband's ex wife moved very far away and cut off all contact when my 11yo stepson was 6. He calls me mum and I say that I have one son. I'd we have a baby then I'd consider myself a mother two.

This wouldn't be the case in different circumstances though ie if his actual mum was around and interested etc

Senac32 Mon 11-Jul-16 18:21:35

"He calls me mum" - I think that's the point, how the children feel about you.
My step daughter never called me mum, and my children didn't call my husband dad. They're still very close though, although it was very hard work at the time. Divided loyalties etc.

BlueberrySky Mon 11-Jul-16 21:30:50

Depends who I am talking to and if DH is there. If I am on my own I usually say that I have 2. Or I may say that I have three at home, my two and DH's adopted child from his first marriage.

If we are together we just say that we have 3 kids.

mrssnodge Tue 12-Jul-16 16:48:08

we have 5 adult DC between us & 4 grand DC, and we are only late forties!

3perfectweemen Thu 14-Jul-16 11:00:10

I always say I have three. My dh says four. He sees my oldest as his own as he lives with him and brings him up as his own. I don't count my step child as mine as she has a mum. I just look after her when she is here but I don't treat her any different.

JapanNextYear Thu 14-Jul-16 11:14:22

I usually say 'DH has 3'.

Wallywobbles Thu 14-Jul-16 11:41:18

I usually say 4, 2 each.

mrsbrightside3 Fri 15-Jul-16 10:08:06

I say I have 3 and if in context / depends who i'm talking to I say 'and dh has 2. I don't have much to do with dh's dc so I would never count them in my total. I know dh refers to my 3 as his stepdc sometimes, but they are all in their teens and have their bio dad as quite active in their lives so my dh has more of a friend role to them rather than a father figure.

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