I love my DH and he is very kind, we've been together 5 years. We get on really well, except that he has got very resentful of me recently.
DSD is 18, we used to get along fine but she saw me as taking over her role when I moved in. She doesn't do any housework but she talks to DH like her mother does - ie very bossy! Puts him down a lot. She lived with us full time but moved out 2 months ago to go to her mothers and apparently I am to blame. DSD told DH and her mother than it was because of me and that 'we were incompatible'.
It all came to a head when I asked her to clear up her mess (dirty dishes left all over the house) - normal teenage stuff - DH was at work so I asked her - in a reasonable way I thought. She went mad and told me to keep out of her business. I said that I was fed up clearing after. I usually try and keep a step back and let DH deal with most things, but I'm not a skivvy. I said that we all lived under the same roof and we need to cooperate.
I feel sad as I did used to make a big effort, listened to her when she was sad, took her out to cinemas etc, helped her with homework. I just always seem to be told to stay in the background where I belong. As she's grown older it's like she feels she can do what she likes in the house and totally ignore me.
Anyway, DH walked in and she ran up to him and told him that I was 'always on her back' and he immediately had a massive go at me! Without even listening to my side of the story.
He then said that DSD was very upset with me as she didn't want to go to her to go to her mum's (currently only once a month) - but to make up her own mind about when and where. I wanted a weekend with just me and DH to ourselves tbh, esp as she often gets the hump with me, even if it is only once a month. She gets on with her mum fine, but likes DH because he goes really easy on her and she can basically do what she likes.
To cut a long story short, DSD moved out to her mums shortly after, without either DH or DSD telling me. She has since refused to come around to the house 'as it is too awkward' with me there. DH sulks all the time and refuses point blank to talk to me.
I think it would be best to just call it a day with DH. I can't control how his DSD feels about me. I have never been mean. Never raised my voice to her. Tried to be sensitive. But I cannot take being resented like this. I want to scream 'it's not my fault!'. I eventually told DH and he is mortified, he said that he would hate me to leave.
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Considering leaving DH - I'm a barrier to his relationship with his daughter?
34 replies
Potatopie3 · 22/06/2016 20:49
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