I don't know what to do.

bigchangeandworried · 2016-06-12 11:50:31

I love my partner and his children. We have been together for almost 3 years (living together for almost 2) and I met the children about 4 months in. All very slowly at their pace. I was so scared before hand because the ex would ring my partner when she knew I was here to say that the kids felt pushed out and that I was stealing their dad and crying themselves to sleep etc. I met them and they never said anything like this. They seemed shocked that I wasn't a monster. His ex is very different to me. I tend to be quiet and calm and drama free. I was pleasant when I saw her on pick ups / drop offs etc. but kept my distance as she isn't someone that I had anything in common with and she made little digs that I wasn't keen on. She was always unreasonable and made demands and threats but I stayed out of it. The kids' mum has always been unpredictable and volatile. Different boyfriends moving in with her and the kids quickly. Issues with drink and (as we found out recently) drugs. The kids are talking about it more and more now but SD has said she was scared to say anything before about the things she had seen. Fast forward to now and we have been granted a court order (on Friday) saying that the children are full time with their dad and are to have supervised visits with their mum. They were already here between 3 and 6 nights a week and the majority of weekend days by their mum's choice. Even when my partner was at work they would stay here with me. I don't really know what my role is in the family or if I even have a role as my BF and I are not married. I am a worrier though and worry that I will let everyone down now the kids are here all the time or that I will over step my role or not do enough or say the wrong stuff. I am just so scared as the kids seem to be craving attention and reassurance right now and I don't want to let them or my partner down. I don't have kids of my own. I know that the children have a mum and love her. At the same time I have been doing "mum" stuff way before this latest drama where the courts became involved and she has never really taken an interest in the boring stuff like school, homework, haircuts, uniforms etc. It would be so much easier with a set of rules that everyone followed! Just realised how long this essay has become too.

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