So dcs have been staying overnight on average 2wkends a month for a few years now with exp and his wife, there are 3dcs and 1in their household, till recently when they've had another Dc.
On Fridays I pack enough clothes for the weekend and on Sunday get three big bags of dirty laundry back- this is because a few years ago they were washing some of it but kept ruining clothes/dying/shrinking etc so I told them to just put it all bk in bags and send it back as I couldn't afford to keep replacing stuff.
They pay a much much reduced amount of maintainence, due to the fact their are other children in his household and because of the amount of overnights per year he has them, to put into perpective my neighbor has the same amount as me from her ex for ONE child, albeit he does not have his Dc overnight ever. The exps are are on similar salaries.
Now the whole maintaince calculation being much less when they have them weekends is surely because they in the eyes of csa are expected to feed and clothe them whilst they are in their care, no? They buy no clothes for them and feed them at exps mums 1night almost every wkend they have them.
The only thing they've helped with is going halfs on a secondary school uniform-and even then they made a huge sing and dance about that.
I'm getting increasingly fed up with the arrangement and due to changes in my life am getting overwhelmed by washing each Sunday when they return, it then takes me till tue/wed to get back on top of it. They are also having one child only 1 night out of each weekend now due to the dcs other commitments, this happens to be the oldest most expensive dc.
They won't increase the cm as I have asked in the past about it, they claim poverty each time despite me knowing this isn't the case so would I be unreasonable to ask them to buy some clothes for dcs at their house that get left there for them to wash, I was thinking outfits and wellies, possibly shoes and that the only thing to transfer each weekend would be coats and a pair of pjs to return home in on the Sunday's?
They've never helped me out in any way, on the very few occasions I've asked and I just feel like I'm being taken for a mug, and letting them get away with lots.
Interested to see how other people arrange things on contact weekends...
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What's reasonable?
28 replies
makingmiracles · 13/05/2016 10:48
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