Join me for a second glass of virtual prosecco

(411 Posts)
WhoGivesAFlying Tue 26-Apr-16 09:42:43

Thought I'd start a new thread as the other is now full. Come and share you SPing problems here, it's a safe place and hopefully some other wise SM can offer advice or just a large drink!

WhoGivesAFlying Tue 26-Apr-16 09:45:14

Well, I've not posted for a while as thinks have been ticking over ok. would be lovely to hear how some of you are getting on, I do need to pop back to the old thread and catch up a bit more. Cheers ladies wine

wickedstepmother1608 Tue 26-Apr-16 10:06:48

Good morning. Just wanted to come along and say hi and definitely join you for that glass of fizz. Didn't realise the value of alcohol until I became a step-parent!
Cheers!

WhoGivesAFlying Tue 26-Apr-16 10:17:11

Well after me saying on a number of occasions that if dsd doesn't stop a certain habit it will make her ill (but what do I know, I'm only the SM). low and behold it happened. Poor dsd is mortified and I'm boiling the towels/bedding etc. Pass the fizz someone lol

NZmonkey Tue 26-Apr-16 10:17:33

Thanks whogives for starting us again. I hope things are going well for you.
DH and I are still basking in our good news of last week. We are attending a parenting through separation course this weekend. Im really not looking forward to it but I'm focusing on the fun things DSD and I will do the rest of the weekend instead of worrying about it.

WhoGivesAFlying Tue 26-Apr-16 10:19:05

I forgot to congratulate you on your wedding NZ flowerswine

NZmonkey Tue 26-Apr-16 10:20:21

Oh no whogives guess that's things not going so well right now wine

wine for you too wicked.

NZmonkey Tue 26-Apr-16 10:22:06

Thank you. We had a fantastic day

WhoGivesAFlying Tue 26-Apr-16 10:23:08

Well, it's not the end of the world, would just like to have been given the info sooner so I could have got on with the deep clean to protect ds.

wine for you wicked (we are all going to end up sloshed lol)

wickedstepmother1608 Tue 26-Apr-16 10:23:50

Thank you!
Darent ask about the boiling towels/sheets, but then I wonder - does it involve diet pills? I have a DSD who is 17 and spending her Saturday job money on buying diet pills over the Internet. Says its ok 'cause her mother does it'. Just despair.

WhoGivesAFlying Tue 26-Apr-16 10:27:14

No, it's from her fingers in her mouth all the time, and now stick on nails. It wouldn't be so bad if she was washing her hands regularly but you know what kids are like. I said ages ago this is what will happen hmm

wickedstepmother1608 Tue 26-Apr-16 10:41:25

Oh dear! shock

DarthPrincess Tue 26-Apr-16 10:54:39

Hi, I wasn't on the old thread but feel like im starting to qualify for this thread now... Just general contact issues mainly and we've had the ' don't like darth and daddies house' and 'dont like darth my mammies the bestest' comments begin. Picked her up from nursery to find her in holey washed out clothes and shoes split from the soles. Honestly thought she only dressed her that way when we collected her from her home. Dps birthday v soon so we asked for an extra evening so we could have a tea party ( more for the kids but its a big birthday to) he got told to grow up and she wouldn't be available for contact.
Mediation next week but she's already said she wont be attending so everything just feels a bit blurggggg. I know its mainly dp and dsd it affects but its really starting to impact on me now which I feel so guilty about. Its like an impossible juggle - we want her to feel part of our family like spending time all of us with my daughter and son if he's not at his dads bit then I feel guilty that she gets no time with just her dad.
Some of you lot have had problems lasting months/years and I feel like a twisting moaning newbie ( i dont doubt for a moment tho that we will have at least another ten years of mind games and trouble)please can I have the bottle instead of the glass?

WhoGivesAFlying Tue 26-Apr-16 11:24:50

<passes bottle and straw> hello darth,

Bananasinpyjamas1 Tue 26-Apr-16 11:52:34

I'm very fed up today! DP is just being so stubborn about everything. I still feel like an outside in my own home (which apparently is not my home) even though I moved in 6 years ago, had a child, cared for four moody step daughters through thick and thin.

Totally fed up!

Bananasinpyjamas1 Tue 26-Apr-16 11:52:51

Outsider... Oops

wickedstepmother1608 Tue 26-Apr-16 11:59:41

wine and flowers Banana

Bananasinpyjamas1 Tue 26-Apr-16 12:50:27

Thank you wicked - I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust. I've taken so much flack over the years, most of it manipulation and bad feeling from DPs first family, and unfortunately he still seems to be weak enough to take it on board.

I'd like to leave today. If I had a home somewhere else I would. I have two kids of my own to focus on.

Sneeziemcweezie Wed 27-Apr-16 21:55:58

I'd love a bottle right now, a glass doesn't feel like it would be big enough.
Today I am mostly feeling peed off and taken advantage of. I can't quite work out how the DSCs Mum managed to walk out on them for years, then swan back in, fight to NOT have them live with her, and now have an endless list of excuses not to see them much. I'm just felt so sad today when I realised that my DD has had to share me with very needy DSCs for a big part of her life - I guess I'm feeling resentful of their Mums decision that so damaged her own kids I had to be more involved in their lives and have less time for my own DD. (And please, before anyone lays into me, I don't resent the DSCs, I resent their Mums behaviour - I had no choice but to be involved more when she left, could you honestly deny comfort to a deeply sad two-year old?)
I guess I'm just having my own little pity party here tonight! It's probably a good thing I don't have a bottle!

Wdigin2this Wed 27-Apr-16 22:46:09

Sneezie I think you're bloody amazing, and don't let anyone tell you you're not! You have taken on another woman's very young DC, you have a DD of your own and naturally, you feel guilty you have less time for her now! Here's a wine or 4 from me.....enjoy, you deserve it!

Bananasinpyjamas1 Thu 28-Apr-16 00:29:33

Agree with wdigin sneezie. You have been taken advantage of and it will have affected how much time you've had for your own. It brings everything into stark reality when you are juggling a lot anyway, and then have to factor in extra kids, in a very out of your control way. And like you've said, can just swan back in and upset the balance.

Thank goodness you have taken them on, and hopefully in the future it will be much more settled, you'll get more time back for everyone (youngsters are time exhaustive!). In the meantime, I'd gladly share a drink, cheers! wine

NZmonkey Thu 28-Apr-16 07:43:54

I don't really have anything to contribute other than that i agree wih wdigin and bananas and to pass the wine
Hope you are also feeling better about things today bananas.

Busybuzzybumblebee Thu 28-Apr-16 13:40:12

hi all,

sneezie you've done amazingly, far more than can ever has been expected of you, (wine)

have just been informed by my dp (whom I am marrying in the summer) that my frankly deranged dsil has invited dps ex to the wedding, she has been told repeatedly we don't want her there, not sure why I am surprised by her doing it but I am, also absolutely raging, dp is going to phone his ex tonight and kindly as possible say that it's not appropriate she come.

Other than that gearing up for contact weekend (wine)

Bananasinpyjamas1 Thu 28-Apr-16 14:46:41

Thanks NZ - am feeling a bit more realistic. Which is a bit depressing, but probably good all round. Our next counseling is this weekend. The counselor told us not to talk about things outside of the session so we haven't.

Busy - wow, just wow! What is your DSIL doing, it's kind of evil. I would be uninviting the DSIL too for this, it is totally out of order! Thank goodness your DP isn't just burying his head and ignoring it.

Busybuzzybumblebee Thu 28-Apr-16 15:19:57

Banana hopefully the next session leaves you feeling more hopeful.

Dsil is totally unhinged and we have been pretty much no contact after years of overstepping the mark with regards to dsc, dp and dps ex (most of which is explained under my old name on here). She is obsessive about dsc and ex, she barely acknowledges mine and dps ds together, which frankly is fine with me. However dp really wants his dsis at wedding, so I can hardly say no but she is already pulling this shit. Feel bad for ex who is going to get a call out of the blue disinviting her to the wedding, although her and dp don't get on, so she must have been surprised at the invite in the first place.

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