Step parents and discipline

[LittleBabyLucas]

I'm constantly asking dp to not discipline my boys. He is military and from a large family where someone was always getting told off or crying and smacking was normal.
While I too got a smack from my dad every now and again for being really naughty my brother and I got it pretty easy.
Ds2 is a handful he's over excitable overly helpful and always getting into cheeky mischief.
He just laughs when he is told off or put on the step so dp has started smacking him. For every little thing.
I've told him to stop it he isn't his dad and discipline is up to me. He doesn't. Ds isn't even 2 yet.
It's caused major arguments between us to point I've told dp to get out my house and find another way home.

[TempusEedjit]

If DS laughs when he is told off then whatever you're doing to discipline him is obviously not effective at the moment and might need rethinking BUT how dare your DP smack him?! You have done the right thing telling DP to get out of your house, I can only hope for your sons' sake you make that permanent.

[Wdigin2this]

Totally agree with Tempus, if he's still laughing on the naughty step...he's not getting it, saying that though, he is still very young! As for your partner smacking him against your wishes, you've obviously got a bully on your hands, think carefully about your future!

[paxillin]

Your dp is a violent bully. Hitting a 1 year old is shocking. Protect your baby, lose the man, he is going to beat the kids to a pulp when they are 10.

Discipline at that age really is saying no and removing the child from the situation. Repeat.

[FaithLoveandHope]

It's really not okay that your DP is hitting your DS. I think partners need to be really careful about discipline. The only time I'll say something to DSD is if she's doing something potentially dangerous or if she lashes out and DP hasn't noticed. Yes as others say you may need to rethink your strategy but it's really not your DP's place and it's unacceptable to hit a 1 year old I think you did right by telling him to get out! I don't think I could stay with DP if he hit his daughter and she's not even my DC!

[lateforeverything]

I've told him to stop it he isn't his dad and discipline is up to me.

Imo I don't think that dad/stepdad is the issue here; the issue is smacking a one year old 'for every little thing'. Which, as an aside, will soon stop being effective because dp's doing it so bloody often so what will be do next????

[MyKingdomForBrie]

Agree it's not relevant whether he is his dad or not, does that mean if you had kids with him you'd go along with the smacking??

You need to make sure he is never in a position to hit your ds again, get him out.

[TheWeeBabySeamus1]

Hitting a child is wrong - full stop, no excuses. Hitting a baby, a baby that's not even yours, that you have no business disciplining in any way is unforgivable. If anyone put their hands on my child they'd be getting one back and shown the door.

Why are you letting him do this? Tell the bully if it happens again you're calling the police. Your child is your priority and you need to protect him from this.

[TheWeeBabySeamus1]

Just seen that you've slung him out - good on you.

[ArmfulOfRoses]

Father or not, hitting a one year old is fucking hideous.

I'm pleased you've thrown him out, absolute deal breaker.

[findingmyfeet12]

Agree that it's a deal breaker. Hitting a one year old is totally out of order.

He should not be allowed around your children at all with that kind of behaviour.

I can't believe that he failed to stop when you asked and yet you're still considering keeping him in your life.

[Lunar1]

Hopefully you won't be letting him come back!