'What the F@!$ has this got to do with you'!

(5 Posts)
LyonRoar Fri 01-Apr-16 17:42:52

Not strictly a step parenting dilemma but;

DBIL (15) lives with me and DH and had done since he was 10. He had a really awful childhood and has a lot of issues. He has been doing better recently, and we do have involvement from social services, CAMHS etc.

Anyway, he had a falling out with his dad earlier in the week and since then has been quite moody with me and DP. DP has been in his room every night this week trying to get him to sleep so I have barely seen my own partner He was really difficult all morning and has so far refused to eat anything (he has not eaten since yesterday morning - food is an issue for him). DH has just arrived home and was having a conversation with him about not eating or sleeping and he will have to talk to the doctor etc if it carries on. He said he had eaten. I was in the other room and heard him and told DH (calmly) he had not eaten.

So I get the above. And he's spat at me again!

I do love him and I know he has been through a lot, but I hate this. I do A LOT for him, and while I don't expect a thank you, i really don't expect this. Its been so good recently as well and now this sad

Sorry, this isn't really a question, more a rant, and just wondering if anyone has any advice?

I can hear him shouting at DH now, another fun Friday for me and my 2 DS's!

Fishface77 Fri 01-Apr-16 17:44:27

He's lucky to have you all op!!
Does he have any counselling? Anger management? Does this happen often? flowers

Bananasinpyjamas1 Fri 01-Apr-16 23:58:49

Don't keep in your anger. If he screams similar at you again tell him straight it has everything to do with you. Tell him whatever he feels you are a part of his extended family. His dads partner. You say these things because you care. That you stand by him but you will not take being spat at, ever, not take being abused. Let him rant. Get your DP to totally back you. Neither of you are there to be abused.

CheeseAndOnionWalkers Sat 02-Apr-16 10:42:50

I have a 15 year old who can be vicious too. (He has no excuse like a horrible childhood.)

He's lucky to have stability with your and your h.

Is his dad involved with the reasons for the horrible childhood ? When my son is angry with his dad we (his siblings and I) bear the brunt of his anger as he cant tell his Dad how he feels.

Mishaps Sat 02-Apr-16 10:46:11

You must seek professional help and press CAHMS and SSD to put in the necessary support - it will be a battle as it is like getting blood out of a stone, but you two have a right to a quiet life.

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