Resentment

(5 Posts)
SoTiredEveryday Tue 19-Jan-16 14:21:25

This is an odd and quite random question, but can you explain what being resentful means? And give examples. I'm trying to work out if that's how I'm feeling.

Does it mean you blame someone for your unhappiness?

How easy is it to overcome resentment?

chocoraisin Tue 19-Jan-16 19:43:27

pretty much yeah. It means you hold someone else responsible for how you feel (in a bad way). EG I feel like shit because he put so-and-so's needs before mine, and now my needs aren't met and it's his fault.

It's super easy to fall into (I am working on some major ones of my own) but the only way out of resentment is to take responsibility for how you feel and do something about it. EG I feel like shit because he put so-and-so's needs before mine, and now I'm going to make damn sure I find a way to get those needs met so that I don't feel like shit. Once those needs are met, I'm also going to reflect on why it pissed me off so bad, and make a choice about whether I'm overreacting, or not. When I know that, I'll do something to make sure I don't feel so shit again in the future.

You can see the second version is way harder to do and takes a lot of personal reflection!!

Something I like to remind myself is the saying 'resentment is like taking poison and hoping someone else will die'. Which means if you're always angry over stuff and giving away your power in your life, the only person who actually gets hurt is you.

It's a bugger alright.

Care to share what's been bugging you?

WhatsGoingOnEh Tue 19-Jan-16 19:47:11

I suffer from resentment a lot, it becomes a habit.

I think it means that you feel you give, give and give, but get far less back. So you literally resent (in other words, begrudge) everything you've done for that person.

Like, if you had a job which paid really badly, and had shitty, ungrateful boss. If they asked you to work extra hours, you'd spend those hours seething with resentment, because you're doing a job in return for feck all, and it won't even be appreciated.

Wdigin2this Tue 19-Jan-16 22:36:43

I think resentment is a result of doing stuff you don't want to and vice versa, putting up with people/situations/decisions you're not happy with, pretending you're OK with stuff you're not, feeling used/undervalued/overlooked....and doing NOTHING about it!!
We all find ourselves in scenarios we don't like, and end up angry with ourselves because we didn't just say we weren't happy! If this goes on and on, we turn that anger on the person who didn't recognise we were unhappy with scenario....and so it goes on! Nightmare!!

EssexInnit Wed 20-Jan-16 08:31:01

chocoraisin you've put it so brilliantly. It's so much easier - short term - to be angry at what's 'being done' to you than work out where those feelings of anger come from and how you can change your perception. (I need to work on all of this).

What's happening with you OP?

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