Think I just need a rant so thanks for listening, I am so fed up with my husbands ex and how so many people assume that the mother is always hard done by but the fathers family are never considered.
My husband has 2 children with his ex wife, 15 and 14, he pays about £100 more a month then CSA say (private agreement and the CSA figure is worked out on him never having the kids over night but we have them every other weekend, 2 weeks in summer, 2 weeks at xmas, a week at easter and usually one other half term too so it will be much higher then £100 more) but he also pays for all clothes, all shoes, school uniforms, all school trips, gives the kids £10 a week pocket money and his ex will still contact him normally once a week demanding more money, which often he gives.
When they split up she moved away, then moved again and then again, so now lives 3 hours drive away, my husband does that drive every other week, you can imagine the cost of fuel to do 12 hours driving twice a month, it also means that he is gone pretty much the whole of Friday and Sunday and takes a half day Fridays so he can drive up (I sound petty I know!)
We have a 3 year old girl and 6 month old twins (the twins were not planned after being told I wouldn't have children naturally after IVF for our 3 year old) I had to have an emergency c section with the twins, I lost a lot of blood and was in a really bad way, I could barely move and kept coming over really really dizzy, 2 days after I got out of hospital, his ex kicked off about him not having the kids (and when I say kicked off, screaming phone calls, his kids calling up crying because she had started on them) so he left me on my own with a 3 year old and baby twins who I could not pick up to go and get his two, in the end I had to hobble down to the front door and send my 3 year old to the older lady next door and ask her for help, this is not a lady I know very well but the twins wouldn't stop crying, I physically could not lift them and the world kept spinning and my vision going everytime I stood up, in the end the old lady next doors daughter came round as well because she came to visit her mum but her mum wouldn't leave me, I have never felt so humiliated to see the pity in their eyes as they looked at me and discussed in hushed tones where my husband had gone and left me in such a state.
Now don't get me wrong my husband is a good man, he is fantastic with our kids, he works hard and I get that is it a real juggling act, with him trying to keep everyone happy but I just feel he gives in to her too much and due to this we have to come second.
Its so childish but I am so so so angry that she has never worked a day in her life but because of the sheer amount of money my husband gives her or the children, we cant survive without my wage so I am going back to work in 3 months, she acts like the world owes her something yet shes always got the latest iPhone, kids said she just bought a 60inch 3d tv, has a new car every 3 years, she is obviously committing benefit fraud as I don't believe she has told them that her boyfriend lives with her, he is a mechanic so doesn't earn crazy amounts but they live the life of riley.
They also go on 3 holidays a year, they take their youngest 2 but have never ever taken my step children, we took our daughter to butlins for a long weekend before the twins came along and got a barrage of abuse from her because we didn't take my step children, we were gone for 3 nights and the older kids would of been bored stupid, we would love to take them abroad but we cant afford it, so none of us go unlike them on 2 abroad holidays and 1 week away here every year, this year I have just found out, my husband is paying for her to take his two away with them..... we can't afford a weekend in Skegness but he is paying for their mother to take them on holiday because he feels bad for them getting left behind all the time...
I am so fed up of my children missing out while my step children get money thrown at them, I am really struggling, having to buy second hand bundles of clothes for the twins off of facebook while my step children are spending £60 on one t-shirt from super dry, it's not fair!
It's just one thing after another, the ex gives us abuse all the time, she encourages my step children to be nasty to my 3 year old, the other month one of the kids must of had a picture of my little girl, she had been doing painting and was sat in her knickers and vest, covered in paint, hair a mess and my husbands ex got hold of it somehow and posted it on facebook saying that I couldn't care for my child and that she was obese and ugly! They have also done the same with me when I haven't been aware, ie when I had just had the twins, belly hadn't really started to deflate at that point and one of them took a picture of me and sent it to their mother which she put on facebook and one of the kids friends mum alerted me two both the pictures so I could report them and get them taken down. I had an eating disorder for many years, for me being a size 12 is difficult, my mind screams starve yourself every time I look in the mirror but I go look at my kids and force myself to eat because I don't want them growing up thinking a persons worth is based on how much they weigh.
Its just really getting me down, I'm starting to really resent the money he gives and the children being here.
And everytime my husband takes them back, she will arrange for him to drop them off at say 6pm, then text at 5:30 saying shes gone out and wont be back until 9pm, so he has to go and take the kids for food and then bowling or cinema or something to kill 3 hours! Then drive 3 hours home again.
At times I just want to leave him, I'm done being made to feel guilty for wanting my children to have a nice life, if he just paid what csa said then we could probably cope without me working until the twins are a bit older.
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Step-parenting
Greedy ex, unreasonable demands and feeling resentful
80 replies
Poppy3282 · 03/01/2016 12:44
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