Hi All,
Today MIL, SIL and her kids come over to drop xmas presents off. I asked DH to ask them to come xmas eve as I have had chemo yesterday and was really tired. Also I didn't want them here as there has been a lot going on recently and I didn't want to see them as I knew it would erupt in a row.
MIL has been slating me in front of my DSKs and making a point of spending two days a week with DSKs arranged through the ex, and ignoring my DD. Shes 5. On top of that there has been about 10 years of bad treatment, from ignoring my DD, to questioning her parentage, to turning up to our wedding in jeans and a t shirt and telling the guests how disappointed she was DH split up with his ex, who left him for another man, and how im not good enough for her son. My relatives left at 9pm to avoid a row. She has photos of just the ex up everywhere, never rings or calls after DD ever. Whenever we go out, I end up paying for everyone or she wont go. I've tried and tried but she wont warm to me so I've left it.
Bought her a really expensive present, and all SIL kids (5 of them) but apparently im tight. They apparently told DH ex (who I have a good relationship with) that im exaggerating the effects of chemo. Then denied it. I truly don't think DH ex would lie.
I get on amazingly well with SKs. Really positive relationship. Husband supports me. But I confronted MIL today about not calling about DD surgery ( she broke her arm at school) or making any effort with her, and loads with the SKs. I told her that my DD doesn't understand why she isn't invited as well, and that she gets told about all the fun things that happen and feels left out. (Didn't mention the £300 each she'd spent on all 4 SK's to the £50 she spent on DD).
MIL told me to stop being dramatic got up and walked out. SIL started screaming abuse at me, then MIL said she would just put the presents inside and leave. I said maybe we could come over later when everything is calm and talk things over. She said she never wants to see me or DD again and got in the car. No presents came out. SIL was still screaming abuse at me, I asked her to leave, she refused to go, spat in my face, at which point DH got in front of her, and called me every name under the sun and told me she hopes I die. She was swinging punches at me from behind DH.
She then left, but smashed the windscreen on my car, then walked back into the house to tell me how ugly my daughter is, and how none of the family give a f* about her, picked up the selection box she has got her for xmas saying she didn't want her to have it and carried on screaming abuse. My daughter saw everything. My husband kept asking her to leave, she refused, I had my phone to my ear and told her I'd called 999. She left and got into MIL car and drove off. Worst part is this woman is a primary school teacher.
None of her kids saw this, she made sure they were in the car before it kicked off, MIL put them into the car, it was only my daughter.
DH asked me to not phone the police and my windscreen has already been repaired (mechanic friend) which DH paid for. He doesn't want his kids to have contact with his mum or sister but the ex drops them to them all the time, and is unlikely to stop. I said to DH what ex does with them on her time is her business, but to tell her that we are going no contact, and to ask that she passes no info to them, and that the SKs don't. They are old enough to know not to.
Do you think it would be reasonable to ask the ex to not pass info to them, and to keep contact with them to a minimum. I have said to just explain what she does is up to her, but to explain that if they go down and they turn on the kids, its on her, because shes been warned and we've told her we're no contact.
Sorry for the long post, just looking to vent. Social media channels have been blocked, as have phone numbers. They live 30 mins drive away so no chance of bumping into them. DH only has them as his dad died and MIL and FIL are only children. SIL is adopted, DH only bio child.
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Big Massive Row!
11 replies
Olivia1971 · 23/12/2015 14:26
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