I came to this forum because I was "troubled" by certain odd behaviours of my husband's teenage daughter (16 and a half). But after reading all sorts of posts about all sorts of problems I feel kinda stupid because she isn't that bad anyway... The fact that she still wants daddy to turn the light off in her room and say goodnight because she is too lazy to do it herself is my issue. But if I ignore it and see all the positives I'm slowly starting to accept that it is not easy trying to understand a teenager whose mother moved to another town and doesn't see her often. I'd be lost if I didn't have my mother around at her age. But she is coping fine, because she has a great dad!
She was quite big when her dad and I got together (she was 11) and when we got married she was 15 so I can't consider myself as her "parent". At first she had one week with mum and one week with dad but then her mum moved and now she is living with us full-time. Despite being big when I came into her life she listens to be if I ever advise her and asks for my permission for things when her dad isn't around. All in all she is a good kid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter how bad things seem at some point we should all try and look at the positive sides of things. For example, even though she is spoiled and used to getting what she asks for (especially from her guilt-full mother) she doesn't make a fuss if she doesn't get something she has asked for. She might occasionally bring it up but without drama. And the fact that she is acting immature is because she is! I find myself thinking that she is an adult sometimes, since she is much taller than I am and looks so "mature". But the truth is, 16 is that odd age for girls when things are starting to change and they feel all sorts of new things they mostly don't know how to handle and sometimes they panic and regress to being childish. My husband's daughter likes to buy teddies all the time. Her room is already PACKED with teddies, not to mention all those she gave to her baby brother, she still has baskets and boxes and a bed full of them... But sometimes she actually surprises me when she shows those signs of maturity that are promising and you know that soon she will go passed that phase too (hopefully because frankly I'm really tired of all the bloody teddies !
This post is for all of you out there like me who have been lucky enough to have "step-children" who are good and that we should indeed try and support them even though their individual oddities might drive us crazy!
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Step-parenting
Step-parenting: not easy
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ElicitCap · 12/11/2015 21:52
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