If you're a stepparent - who chooses / pays for DSC Christmas presents?

[squicketysquack]

I guess there are a few options:

1. DP/H chooses and pays for all DSC presents
   
2. SM helps to choose / contributes towards a joint present for DSC
   
3. DP/H and SM buy separate presents for DSC
   
   In our case it’s 1) – DP chooses / buys for his ‘side’ of the family, including SS, I do for mine. Mainly because we have separate finances I guess. Just interested in what others do really and what the reasons are.

[Bubbletree4]

My stepmother chooses and buys our presents as my dad is lazy and thoughtless.

[MascaraAndConverse89]

We choose together because he likes to get my opinions and ideas, but he pays for them.

[MTPurse]

Dp and I buy all our presents for our dc (4 between us, none together) between us, We do not buy separately for any of the dc.

[purpledasies]

My DH buys the main presents for his DC, sometimes with my input, sometimes not. I also buy them small things just from me, as I enjoy doing that. We have separate finances like you. We do a joint effort with stockings - for the DSC and DC and both buy things for all the kids.

[bluebell8782]

I buy most of the little pressies for my SD but will discuss the main one with DH and either I'll pay or he will - she's as good as a daughter in my eyes even if I didn't give birth to her so I don't think twice about paying/choosing things for her. Each situation is different, however, whatever works for that family.

[3phase]

I choose, buy and wrap all of DSD's presents just I like I do for our other DC. I discuss the 'big' presents for all the kids with DH but I don't bother with smaller stuff or stockings. He's happy to leave me to it which suits me fine to be honest.

[WhoGivesAFlying]

I give ideas, he pays as I'm a SAHM

[Bananasinpyjamas1]

I think this is one situation where there is no drama in my household! My DP buys for half the kids, EX for other half. I buy for DC. We both buy for 'mutual' DC.

However, we don't have all the kids for Christmas ever, which is a shame. But we used to have all the kids every weekend, so we have a 'mini Christmas' a couple of weeks before, and ALL of us, DP, me, the toddler, DSCs, DC we all put our names into a hat and then pick one, and spend about £5. It's just a way of trying to make everyone feel like they belong.

[VimFuego101]

I tend to come up with ideas for DSD, I note down ideas throughout the year as she mentions things she likes, and DH would never be that organized! They are labelled from both of us (well, it's implied, we only put people's names on the presents, not who they're from )

[hampsterdam]

Main presents we sort out for our own kids, we will both buy small bits for both boys anything we think they will like. We have separate money so all presents for his family he sorts and me for mine. We do agree a general budget for the kids, or dh would just go mad and spend hundreds. Everything labeled from both of us.
All sorted then on Xmas eve dh will go and buy more plastic tat and something he likes for himself but desguised as a gift for the kids.

[fuzzpig]

I choose because I love it! I have a wishlist for each of my DSCs that I add to throughout the year, just like I do with our DCs (different stuff though, as DSCs are teen/adults now). DH tells me any of the ideas he has too and will sometimes pick things up if he sees them, but I'd say about 75% are chosen by me. In particular one DSD is more like a little sister to me - we spend a lot of time together when DH is working and we share a lot of interests - so choosing presents for her is much easier for me.

Our finances are joint so 'we' pay for them.

[AddictedtoGreys]

My DH and I both choose together and pay together as we have a joint account. Though a lot of the time if I am out and see something DSD will like I will get it

[19lottie82]

I quite like buying presents so I choose and buy most of them..... DH usually buys them the "big" present that they ask for tho. Usually works out about half and half.

[mrssmith79]

I choose and buy. Choose because dh is clueless, buy because if I'm standing in the shop looking at something or browsing online it would be nonsensical to demand that he come and cough up the funds first. It's a joint account anyway.

[WSM123]

My partner buys things for our house, his ex buys things for her house (so they basically get two lots of presents
I also get them something little and educational/practical just because I think that sort of thing is important.

[supermariossister]

We buy together for 3 children, none together. Depends on who has more money at the time or has seen something they think would suit. I tend to pick more because he isn't very clued up on current toys/games and I'm a better bargain hunter. Sometimes we go halves with his ex wife and partner if it's something like a phone and put it from all of us.

[Wdigin2this]

I choose, buy and usually wrap everything, for everyone, because DH would not have the smallest clue! Generally he pays, but I tend to pay for most of my DC's gifts!

[coffeeisnectar]

Depends who has the money. I have paid for my 2 and 2 dsd presents this year. We decided together mostly but I know more about what they want so I suggest it, he agrees and then we buy it.

[Thesearegoodtimes]

Dh does all the choosing, shopping, wrapping for his three. He knows his children's likes, and he is good at choosing presents for them. While he'll pay for them, it's all considered joint money whether it's "his" or "mine", we don't separate finances that way.

[Neverenuff]

We just do joint presents for his kids. We have a joint account and it's Christmas I want an easy life.

Christmas and birthdays come from joint money and both have input. But for other stuff I tend to make dp pay out of his own pocket as I feel he pays enough maintenance and has agreed for the kids mum that she sorts everything else.

It also means that if we ever have a child together there is no differentiating who gets what from who.

[GreenGoblin0]

for years I (sm) generally paid for presents for DSSs as I had higher disposable income as DP was paying very high maintenance for his income. we now have a DD together and my disposable income is lower so we generally go about halves although DP generally takes lead in choosing for DSSs

[jamtartandcustard]

I chose and buy for my 2 dc, dsd and our dc together mainly because dh is useless.
He had to buy dsd an outfit the other week, just in tescos, last minute thing. I left him for 15 mins then went to aee what was taking so long. I've never seen a grown man look so lost and confused over buying socks for a 6 year old! It's just easier if I do it really

[Purplerain067]

We choose together, he pays for his DC and I pay for my DD, although if either of us see something one of them would like, we buy it anyway. All of the presents are marked from both of us

[shoeaddict83]

I buy most as hes not big on shopping! We do go out and choose some together. the rest i just show him what ive got and hes happy enough! we then usually just split the cost as i earn more, have a brilliant relationship with the DC's and am happy to pay half. He never asked for this, i just feel its fair for our situation. We dont have children together and we dont want to as were very happy as we are, so i treat them as my own anyway when they are with us