Relationship with Step Mother

(17 Posts)
hettiebaby Thu 20-Aug-15 10:34:16

I see quite a lot of threads in which people have strained relationships between step parents and children. I just wanted to tell the world mumsnet how amazing mine is!

After my biological mother went NC with me during my teenage years, my relationship with my father and step mum has grown stronger than ever!

There is no problem I can't go to her with, nobody who I'd rather spend a Saturday evening with over a bottle of wine. She is like my best friend!

Sorry to be a bit gushy and pathetic but I wanted to share the love grin blush

LetTheChipsFall Thu 20-Aug-15 10:43:12

What a lovely post smile

LittleSnaily Thu 20-Aug-15 12:28:42

That's so lovely!

What do you think makes your relationship work?

LittleLionMansMummy Thu 20-Aug-15 13:45:12

That's lovely op flowers

I love my dsd to bits. She's 15 and an absolute star. She jokingly refers to me as her Stepmonster because she knows how close we really are. We have girlie chats and go to the cinema/ shopping when she stops over while dh amuses our ds! Ive been her stepmum for 12 years so she can't really remember a time when I wasn't around. She somehow manages to be equally thoughtful and generous with her time to all her family (she lives with her mum) as well as spending time with her friends - no mean feat!

0dfod Thu 20-Aug-15 14:25:49

Really lovely post op flowers

I love my dss, he laughs when I say I am a step monster. We had to have a talk recently as he hears my two dc call me mum, he said he wanted to have a special name for me too. I explained that he already has a mummy who is lovely and that she holds the name mummy. He can find me a special name that is different but has meaning to him. I would hate to upset his mum, she really is amazing.

hettiebaby Thu 20-Aug-15 15:28:24

I'm not really sure what makes us get on so well. She's just fabulous. I also have a brilliant relationship with my younger siblings (her children with my dad). I spend a lot of time with them and take them out most weekends either separately or sometimes together.

I have realised as I've gotten older how much work she does and how she always puts family before anything else. My dad has a v. busy job (NHS) and she makes sure everything at home is taken care of. She's like superwoman!!

I love that I can pop down for a coffee most days and she's always got time for me, either for a bitch and a moan or just a general chit chat. And I LOVE our Saturday nights!!! wine grin

She supported me through 6th form college when I had glandular fever and they weren't sure I would be able to carry on. She came in the place of my biological "mother" and helped me fight my corner and convinced them to let me stay. Due to this I managed to get into University.

She also was a great sounding board when I finished my first year at uni earlier this year and said I wasn't happy and wanted to come home. She was the only one who listened and supported me and genuinely wasn't disappointed.

I guess most of all is that she treats me as if I'm her own child, and because of this I look at her as one of the most important ladies in my life. Between her and my grandma, who needs anyone else?! grin

Wdigin2this Sat 22-Aug-15 16:12:18

You are very fortunate Kettlebaby! I too had a lovely SM, who came into our lives when I was married with a family of my own...not everyone is so lucky in their step-patents!

Whyarealltheusernamestaken Sun 23-Aug-15 01:59:43

Op, this post made me cry, it's lovely to hear an account from a dsd's first hand experience. I can only hope that one day my dsd thinks of me in a similar manor. Your step mother is a lucky lady for having you in her life and vice versa x

SenecaFalls Sun 23-Aug-15 02:25:00

Great post, OP. I was very close to my step-mother, too, and helped my younger brother and sister (her children with my dad) care for her at the end of her life. She was always cheering me on and she was great fun to be with as well. She supported me emotionally through some rough times.

RedNailPolish101 Wed 23-Sep-15 20:28:57

This has made me cry too, that is so lovely X and echo what WhyAre has said - so nice to hear!

Having seen some comments from individuals that can be quite hurtful on here and at times have made me feel quite down in the dumps this has made me smile and I'm so happy for you xx

I had a wonderful stepdad as my dad disappeared and miss him everyday.

littlegreen66 Wed 23-Sep-15 20:47:23

My step mother is lovely too. Not that I ever call her my stepmother - she's my dad's wife/ [her name] because they married when I was 18 (some time ago!) - but I am very fond of her. She loves my dad dearly, and makes him a happy man, for which I'll always be grateful.

She's treated her step GCs as though they were her own great-nieces and nephew, and is now doing the same with my DSS.

However I don't think she has a special secret to being a good SM - she's just a generous and kind to everyone she meets.

RedNailPolish101 Wed 23-Sep-15 22:38:18

Thank you for posting littlegreen, it makes me feel better and I'm sure other StepMums (or what ever DC choose to call these ladies) will share my sentiments!

BertieBotts Wed 23-Sep-15 22:42:11

Mine is lovely too smile

I have a good relationship with my mum so it's not that she replaces her - not at all. I just think she's lovely. She is warm and friendly, she's always been interested in me and DSis (perhaps more so than my dad has).

She and my dad have recently separated but I wouldn't dream of breaking contact because she's family. Always will be.

RedNailPolish101 Wed 23-Sep-15 23:51:44

Big big smiles xx

RedNailPolish101 Wed 23-Sep-15 23:54:12

I hit post before finishing...

Big big smiles, it's lovely to hear the positive stories X

I'm of course sorry to hear of the split but you can never know the reasons, but it's great you maintain the relationship with your stepmum

Wdigin2this Thu 24-Sep-15 00:37:41

That's lovely to hear!

RedNailPolish101 Thu 24-Sep-15 00:56:17

It so is X I think we need to embrace this thread

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