Morning Mumsnetters,
I am seeking an outside opinion from you over your morning cup of coffee.
To give you a quick summary; I am stepmum to a four year old and also have a one year old with my husband. I work full time and run the household finances, do the shopping, cooking, washing etc. Also due to the fact that my husband is currently on a driving ban I do all associated driving for our son, pick DH up from work and half the driving for DSS (mum doing the other half).
My husband is a great father and has a very generous custody arrangement. We have DSS one weekday evening and Saturday morning through to Sunday lunchtime every week. This has recently been informally extended to 4pm on a Sunday. At which point my husband is so exhausted that he typically collapses on the sofa and doesn't move.
DSS is, due to the nature of a split family, a demanding child. When he is with us he requires my husbands undivided attention. Which I do understand as he idolises DH and wants to make the most of any time with him.
The strain is starting to show and I have to confess that I am beginning to resent DH and DSS. I feel like I am cook, cleaner, taxi driver... really just at everyone's beck and call.
I also admit that I am envious of DSS mum who doesn't work and has the whole weekend off. I know this is irrelevant to my situation but I can't help but compare.
I have had some RELATE counselling to try and deal with this and out of that came the suggestion that we revert to the previous arrangement of DSS going back to his mums at lunchtime, giving us Sunday afternoon to relax and DH to help with the chores.
Having suggested this to DH, he has flipped out. Accusing me of hating his son (I think he has picked up on the building resentment), being jealous, asking me "how would you feel if someone took DS from you for half the week" etc. He has said that I am making him choose between me and DSS and he will choose DSS.
I know that DSS is not the problem here, but it seems like the most practical solution. Is it a reasonable request to ask DSS to visit for a few less hours per week?
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Step-parenting
Am I an evil stepmum?
146 replies
dopeydee · 29/07/2015 09:11
OP posts:
AlpacaMyBags ·
29/07/2015 11:30
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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