First some background: my partner owns a house with his ex, which they are planning to sell. She has moved out and in with her new bf, but left her 22yo son in the house. Said son has just finished college, has no job and spends all day smoking dope and letting his gf wait on him. He is on drugs for depression and is agoraphobic.
House is a complete tip. My partner spends very little time there because 22yo shows hims no respect and tries to get him angry. My partner is very calm, but is clearly at the end of his tether, having been step-dad to this boy and his equally violent brother (18yo, left home) for the last 15 years.
Boys' absent father was abusive to their mother and them. Left when they were 3 and 1. Boys have father issues which they project on my partner, despite him trying his very best to be there for them.
What happened: this weekend, my partner got a call from his ex to tell him that 22yo has smashed up my partner's room. My partner's first question was is the boy OK? And that things are not important. When he went to the house he discovers that everything in his room is completely trashed, beyond repair. Computer, guitar and amp smashed. All his clothes covered in paint. Furniture so damaged his ex has already removed and taken to dump. Walls daubed with abuse. Partner salvages what little he can and comes to mine.
What the hell to do? His ex has no money and cannot rehouse 22yo until she gets money from house sale. I don't think safe to leave him in house on own. Who knows what he will do next. And how to sell house with unhinged young adult in it?
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Step-parenting
Partner's ex-stepson caused criminal damage - what to do?
10 replies
Bikenut · 06/07/2015 10:26
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