My DH is away for a week for work and his ex has now decided that she also needs to be away (for work) - and the assumption is that I will have DSS for the week they are both away...
The ex has a partner (the DSC stepfather) but he has decided to accompany the ex (it is a craft show in a lovely place!) However DSS doesn't want miss the last week of school's activities and doesn't want go with them (although DSD is going with them).
I/we have 3 children and work full time - with my DH and therefore with him being away I am even more pulled upon running the business. It is already a busy week and I am relying on friends to help me out with DH not being there to support us. I have a lot on my plate at the moment and adding an extra person in the mix is not as easy as the ex might imagine - especially with all the demands that the last week of school entails.
I feel that this is something that the ex and her DP should have given consideration to before deciding that they both were going to be away since they knew my DH was also going to be away for work. I also think that DSS's needs also needed to be considered from the offset before any decisions were made.
We have the DSC once a week and every second weekend and whenever the ex has extra things on - including a week recently so she could go to Glastonbury BUT we always ensure that both of us are here as our jobs are very demanding and the domestic side of caring for 5 children is not shall we say easy!
The irony is that I should really be accompanying my DH to the trade show he is attending as part of our joint work responsibilities but we have had to make the decision for me not to go because of the putting first the needs of the DC first.
However I find it hard to say no. After all I love my DSS and of course I want to support my DH but I just have this feeling that I am a bit of a mug and my usual attitude is to say yes regardless of the impact on me. So please someone tell me that it is OK to have these feelings or just to 'pull my socks up' and cope?!
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Is it OK for everyone to assume you will look after DSC when their parents are away?
40 replies
zazas · 05/07/2015 21:13
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