Don't know how to help ds

(14 Posts)
Busybuzzybumblebee Sun 21-Jun-15 22:13:54

Hi, I've recently nc but posted before. Just wanted some advice/experience about my ds. My dsc come eow. Rhe problem is the last few times they've been my ds (18m) has become really distressed, doesn't sleep properly, becomes really clinging to me, tearful. Not sure how to help him my dsd loves him to bit, always cuddling him and playing etc, my dss totally ignores him even if he toddles over to him to say hello.

I feel awful my ds is so unsettle when they're here, is this normal? Is there anyway to make it easier for him?

Busybuzzybumblebee Sun 21-Jun-15 22:14:17

Sorry for typos on phone

Wdigin2this Mon 22-Jun-15 08:31:38

How old is your DSS?

Busybuzzybumblebee Mon 22-Jun-15 08:40:44

He's 9, dsd 14

Wdigin2this Mon 22-Jun-15 08:47:39

Do you think your DS is upset because your DSS is ignoring him, because to be that distressed seems unlikely just for being ignored?

Busybuzzybumblebee Mon 22-Jun-15 09:33:26

No I don't, I think it's likely he's used to being the centre of attention and is at an age where he's quite possessive over me and dp, the kids being down just brings it to the forefront.

Busybuzzybumblebee Mon 22-Jun-15 09:34:15

Not blaming the dsc, just wanted advice on how to make it easier for him as it's quite an upheaval for him eow

Guyropes Mon 22-Jun-15 09:38:16

If you think its mostly a clingy phase, then don't force them together. Do things on your own with ds for at least part of the time, and let the dsc spend some time with dp.

Busybuzzybumblebee Mon 22-Jun-15 10:04:43

I don't force them together but we have a small house and from Friday till Sunday he's quite distressed. I take him to the park etc and during the day if going shopping etc. I take him with me but it was really how to try and help him

Busybuzzybumblebee Mon 22-Jun-15 10:06:02

Also they sleep in the same room which is not something we can change and ds won't fit in with us, so the sleeping is an issue

Melonfool Mon 22-Jun-15 11:03:50

I think 18m is a clingy age, lots of development going on.

Can you persuade DSS to play some games with him, just peekaboo type things?

I can't think what else you can do other than spend more time (which at 18m is automatic really!) with ds.

I presume ds goes down well before dss goes to bed, is he not asleep by the time dss goes up?

Melonfool Mon 22-Jun-15 11:03:52

I think 18m is a clingy age, lots of development going on.

Can you persuade DSS to play some games with him, just peekaboo type things?

I can't think what else you can do other than spend more time (which at 18m is automatic really!) with ds.

I presume ds goes down well before dss goes to bed, is he not asleep by the time dss goes up?

wheresthelight Mon 22-Jun-15 18:44:53

My dd is a few months older but from about 15 months until a fortnight ago (she's 22 months) was exactly the same. Completely fine one day and then unsettled, not sleeping, being clingy etc the next.

It will be a lot to do with becoming aware that they come and go and missing them especially if your dsd and him are close.

Hang in there because it does ease

Busybuzzybumblebee Mon 22-Jun-15 23:05:00

Thanks, I think maybe it is the coming and going he finds confusing and too little to explain or understand

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