Please help.

[Sharpasknives]

I have been with my partner for 4 years. I have 2 ds, he has one, the same age as my eldest. We don't live together, but go on holiday and spend some time as a 5 once a month. The kids get on, up to a point. Partners son is an only one, so sometimes struggles with sibling squabbles.he likes to have his dad to himself also.
Now tonight, I am having a small bbq and my youngest is at camp.so partners son and him were going to stay. As its a rare treat for my eldest not to have his brother, he asked for a friend to stay over too. Now all the boys know each other, and there my partners son has his cousins here at the bbq.
My partner had a massive strop last night, saying his son would be left out, and he wouldn't want to come if xxx was here too. But it's my sons house and if he wants a friend over, that's ok?

[crossroads15]

Could your DP's son have a friend to stay too? Could one of his cousins stay the night?

I get the whole "three's a crowd" thing but I don't think you should cancel the sleepover. That would be very unfair on your DS. Suggest to your partner that if he feels his son will feel left out, he either arranges for your DSS to have a friend of his own to stay or does something himself with his son to make him feel special, like take him to the cinema.

YANBU.

[wheresthelight]

I think you have been a little thoughtless albeit with the best intentions towards your own son.

Tell you partners son to invite a friend too so he isn't left out

[Sharpasknives]

It's all my partners family that are coming to the Bbq, so them doing something else isn't an option. I did suggest he invite a friend for his ds, but that would mean they couldn't stay as I don't have enough room, but they could come and get a cab home, they only live 2 miles away. To put it into context. I did similar last year, and there is a huge party/ funfair/concert on the field adjacent to us, so there were loads of kids they both knew coming and going all night. They are 12, So not toddlers and all know each other from scouts.

[CalicoBlue]

I can see how he would feel that is son is being left out, but then if he has his cousins there it could have been that your son was going to be left out.

Kids do not need much space to sleep. My DS's sleepover consisted of the boys sleeping on any available floor space.

I am sure it will all work out, and your DP is just stressing. Just concentrte on having a nice evening and the boys will have fun too.

Hope you have a nice evening.

[Sharpasknives]

Thank you calico

[Wdigin2this]

Yes, don't let this spoil the evening!
If your DP's son is an 'only' and you do all eventually live together, he's going to have to learn the sharing thing the hard way unfortunately! I think the fact that his cousins are actually going to be at the BBQ, surely give him enough pals so that he won't feel left out...and quite honestly, I think your DP is over-reacting here! His DC can't always have things. 'all his own way', 'cos life just ain't like that, and when kids have siblings, they learn that lesson a bit quicker!

[Sammasati]

I think that your dp was being a bit precious tbh, he needs to grow up and lead by example, not throwing a strop!

I'd stick with your plans, but if he were my dp is be having serious thoughts on my relationship with him, he is a grow man ffs.