Dsd is 15.5yo. She's lovely, our relationship is great - always has been. Known her for 12 years, no issues or problems. We see her most weekends and she's a proper part of our family.
But. We think she's quite indulged and materialistic. Not dissimilar to many teenagers, but we had an eye opening chat with her last weekend.
It started with her saying that if she doesn't go to university her mum has said she'll buy her a car. Her mum has also told dh she expects him to help her financially through uni. We asked her if she plans to get a Saturday job. Firstly she told us she's not old enough. I told her she is, but she insisted she needs to be 16. In the next breath she said she wants to enjoy the summer with her friends, not work.
Now i know this probably isn't unusual. The trouble is we stop paying maintenance for dh's other daughter in July (who we have not seen for 4 years and is almost 18). Dh doesn't want to be seen to be pocketing the money (which comes to about £50) so has said that as we've been unable to afford to give dsd pocket money over the years he'll start giving her an allowance each month. Dsd also already gets £50 per month from her mum. At that age all my 'income' was from a Saturday job.
We don't want to encourage her to be lazy - dh has always refused to be a Disney dad. Also, she always has the latest iphone, wants an ipad, wears clothes and makeup i can only dream of affording! I love her to bits, but in view of her attitude to work I do wonder if dh will be doing the right thing.
Dh's ex has already also indicated that if dsd goes to 6th form college (20 miles from home) she'll be expecting him to help with travel costs for the bus she'll be taking. Dh has never shirked responsibility, but we both firmly believe that a strong work ethic and understanding of the value of money is really important. We both had jobs at her age and will expect similar from our ds. But this is clearly not being encouraged by her mum.
What would you do? Do your teenage stepchildren have Saturday jobs? Do they get an allowance? What are the financial expectations from you if they decide to go to university?
Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.
Step-parenting
Does your teenage stepchild have a Saturday job?
LittleLionMansMummy · 05/06/2015 09:07
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