I'm lobbying for Step Parent day!

[Sonny1]

Now before anyone jumps all over me, I am not suggesting for a second that Step Parents are equal to parents on all levels or even perhaps any level........
......but wouldn't it be nice if there existed Step Parent Day, where step parents were told thank you very much for the effort you make in our family, here, have a lay in and a cup of tea?

There would be no weirdness around she's not my Mum/he's not my Dad, there would be no Mum/Dad P*ssed off that step parent was stepping on their day (mothers day/fathers day) and it would be taking pressure off the poor step kids stuck in that situation and it might also give us evil step parents a warm fuzzy feeling inside which is often sadly lacking....

who's with me?

[sanityseeker75]

Count me in - my DSC's did get me a card on mother day and wrote to mom in it even though they never call me mom but DSD said you won't put them on FB will you because it will P**s mom off. I never put stuff on FB like that but felt really bad that they had done something lovely and picked their own cards that were relevant to them but felt that they had to hide it - maybe something like that would ease the pressure and lets face it there are loads and loads of us SM and SD out here

[Tutt]

Me, I'm in.

My DSS lives with me 24/7 and his Mother has him when she can be bothered!!! I didn't get a card on Mothers Day (my DH is away or he would have made him get me one). His Mother just had to have him Sat/Sun because it was such a special day, he was given money to get something (card and a box of chocolates/daffs whatever) he spent it all on her... feeling rather undervalued at the moment especially as his Father is out of the country so unaware and DSS is being looked after by me, I won't bring it up when DH gets home because I really can't be bothered anymore

[Sonny1]

I know what you mean, I once tried bringing it up with OH that parents get a day when appreciation is shown for them but SPs don't his response was "you get your birthday and besides, I thought you didn't want kids" I don't think that he really grasped the point that I was trying to make. I didn't bother to point out that parents get birthdays too.

I don't want a fanfair but I would like the DSCs to be reminded, not by OH or by myself that you really should show your appreciation for the time and love this person gives you and all the parental things this person does for you and guess what? You don't have to feel guilty about doing so!

I had to take DSD for her first Bra because even after months of requesting that her mum did it nothing happened and it was getting embarrassing for DSD. I had to deal with the first period etc. These are special moments in a girl's life and I helped her through them but there is no way for her to show that it is appreciated becasue her mum will hit the roof....its ridiculous.

[notharriet]

Or maybe a "you're like a parent to me" day? For grandparent/ aunts/ siblings who take on a parenting role with little thanks

[notharriet]

As well as step parents day I mean

[Sonny1]

Hallmark would have a field day . It is about time, given that a lot of kids are in this situation, that these people were recognised.

[OneEyedWilly]

I'm on board. Been in DSD's life for 6 years, since she was 2. She tells me she loves me etc but was totally ignored for Mother's Day, which hurt my feelings quite a bit. Didn't even occur to DP to do something, despite me being 35 weeks preg with her baby brother. She did make a token gesture a week later but only after I told DP how hurt I felt.

[OneEyedWilly]

Would also be nice to have a special day to tell my step dad how great he is. Been around for the last 22 years, showing me unconditional love for all that time, since I was 6. I appreciate him but never can find a Father's Day card that's quite right

[mrssmith79]

DSD is 22 now - I've been with her dad since she was 12. She always, without fail, remembers me on Mother's day and I always get a lovely card and gift. I'll never have a biological child of my own but she more than compensates - having her in my life for this last decade has enriched it immeasurably. Now I've gone all soppy

[Wdigin2this]

I would be on board, but have to say all of my (grown) DSC got me cards and gifts, they always do! I've been with their dad for more than 2 decades, so it's become an established thing...that's not the problem in my life!

[Sonny1]

Mine wouldn't dare for fear of upsetting their Mum. DSD 13 won't even say "love you" to her Dad if I am in the room for fear of implying that it is directed at me too and then she will have been disloyal to her Mum. I don't know why some parents twist their kids up inside like this.

The worst part is that we get along just fine (DSCs and I). There is no animosity or rudness except from their mum. We've even had to invent a new "name" for each other becasue Stepmum includes the word Mum but they don't want to just call me Dad's OH and step daughter/son implies mum.
They call me by my name when they are talking to me but they have always struggled with what to call me when talking about me to other people or if their friends ask if I'm their mum, they wanted a "word" for what I am to them.
I've always refered to them as my little freaks (in a loving way) so we are each others' Step freaks. They find it hilarious, which is great as it has a positive effect on them, and they have something which is comfortable and fun to call me which is also totally divorced from the word mum and to some extent, if their mum hears them using it, it could be taken as a derogatory term which would keep her happy too, not that that should come into it, but sadly it does.

[NiceAndAccurate]

We have a step-parent day in our house. We made it up for this very reason. Start your own traditions!

[daisychain01]

I don't enjoy 'labels' so probably am not very enthusiastic. Only a personal opinion but I find it creates a 'rank-order' with DSS's DM always eager to rub in that she has a perceived better status to me - her perception not anyone else's.

I do my best and hope that some of the love sticks

I send my DSM a Happy Mother's Day card, as she has been that person for a long time and took loads of my sh*t along the way before I decided to appreciate her