sd roaring eyes out when her dad tries lift her

[proudmummywife]

My step daughter refuses to come anymore she screams havoc when her dad goes to lift her. She is only 3.5.. her mum is due baby in May. What would u do? she comes when I lift her but it's hard me getting the time with work kids and it is hour drive. When she is here she is happy. Her mum said she hits out at home and usin really bad language calling her granny ugly sick head . We never hear that language in our house. What would cause her not wanting to come would u think? Her mums house is very dirty an cluttered and tiny and they drink quite a bit I don't kno why she won't come it's really hurting her dad. He is an amazing dad to her our child together and mine from a previous relationship.

[alwaystryingtobeafriend]

Such a shame. Maybe she is feeling left out at mums and like she doesn't belong at your place if there are other kids. Kids are funny around pregnant people so maybe why she is hitting out at home. All you can really do I. My opinion is do your best to get her to yours then make sure to include her as much as possible. Have group hugs with dad and muck about. I wouldn't force her to be lifted by dp. She will come when she is ready. It could be just a phase. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I don't have much advice really. Just hugs. Xx

[BigPigLittlePig]

At 3.5 my dsd screamed whenever she was being dropped anywhere. Our approach was a "pick her up over the shoulder and off we go" one. Or her mum would drop her to us and literally dump and run. Tough but it paid off.

[proudmummywife]

She used to cry going home and her mum used to cry heart broken. She is always involved in everything you could say dsd get more attention as she constantly sits on my knee playing with my hair so my ds 14months can't sit on my knee. She constantly tells me she loves me and few weeks ago she started calling me mummy I corrected her every time. We had thought it was cos her mum was having g a baby but why does she come with me and not her dad?

[proudmummywife]

She follows me everywhere even to bathroom when I turn round while tryin to do a chore I tripovwr her lol she seems so needy to me. But refuses Togo with her dad but when I'm not there she is attached to her dad

[FlossyMoo]

My first thought would be another new baby in her life. She is probably feeling quite lost and given her age she is unable to process what she is feeling which is quite natural.

I think the only thing you can do is a consistent approach from all adults involved. Reassurance will work but you need to get the balance right.

I would also encourage father daughter time. She may resist at first but it sounds like she needs to bond with him. Maybe start of with a short trip out to the park and then see how it goes.

[proudmummywife]

She used to have a strong bond with dh. she used to roar not wanting to go home. Now her mum is pregnant she refusing to go wit dh. It's so sad I'm afraid contact is goin to be very little we both work shifts so it's hard lifting her when dh off work too.

[proudmummywife]

We have tried that approach big pig she actually took the harness off her three times dh had to pull in strap her in again she was fine once she got to here but poor dh was feeling awful

[BigPigLittlePig]

Agree it makes you feel awful as a parent, and dh would nearly be in tears at times, but lots and lots of positive reinforcement, and perseverance, and I'm sure it will improve. The alternative sounds as though either contact will be less, which is clearly not good in the long term, or you are being roped in to doing drop offs etc, which doesn't actually address the underlying issue.

My dd would do almost anything atm for stickers - is there something similar you could bribe her with a bit? Eg. "it's time for daddy and dd to go to daddys house now, we'll see mummy again tomorrow, but now shall we go and get some stickers/play with the stickers in the car?" etc etc.

[proudmummywife]

Lip balms I tried that cos she loves them. But doesn't work but when she gets here she says right where's my lipstick lol

[proudmummywife]

Should I start lifting her myself or is that defeating the purpose?