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caffcass

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dietstartsmonday · 17/01/2015 11:17

hi all.
my Dss mum is going through court for access. long back story but she sees him, but supervised.

caffcass spoke to all yesterday and Dss 8 has told them that my ds14 bullies him when we aren't looking. I am 99% sure this doesn't happen but obviously can't swear on it. however they are rarely alone.
my d's is a string personality and they have clashed at times but really nothing serious, normal sibling stuff.
what do we do now?

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dietstartsmonday · 17/01/2015 11:22

should add I have seem a disagreement between them a couple of weeks ago when Dss said ds hit him. I know this was untrue as I was sat there!!

I just feel awful though. my d's parents have raised it as they know. I just feel if I say it's exaggeration which I believe it is it will sound bad.
and what will caffcass do about it?

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FlossyMoo · 17/01/2015 12:52

I think they will look in to it further and may just accept that it is just normal sibling behaviour. They will look at how happy your DSS is in your home and not base any decisions on this one incident.

However at 14 your DS is old enough to understand what consequences his behaviour will have. You need to speak to him and not just brush this under the carpet. There is a big difference between sibling rivalry and bullying.

I hope everything goes ok for your family.

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dietstartsmonday · 17/01/2015 13:57

thanks Flossy
my ds is attires irritating to others and finds it hard to know when it's enough, something we are aware of and working on. he is a very young 14. but I really feel that this is probably what Dss is referring to.
we will be extra vigilant now, and I will be explaining to ds as well.
I think I am disappointed that Dss has never raised it with us.

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annielouisa · 23/01/2015 19:29

I think you have said yourself at times your DS is annoying to others and at 14 when you are only 8 that can be quite intimidating. Have you thought maybe DSS was scared to raise it perhaps he was worried he would not be believed or the "bullying" would get worse.

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dietstartsmonday · 23/01/2015 23:27

Annie I think you may have a point there.
I have a really good relationship With Dss so I was hoping he would have said something, but yes maybe he was worried.
I don't really know what to do next. I have explained to ds a bit, and he has agreed to try to make sure he doesn't upset Dss. he loves him and was upset that Dss felt like that.
hopefully moving forward we can build them a better relationship.