please please help really scared

[scarlettandrhett]

DH and I have our own DS and DH has a DD my DSD.

Getting contact was horrendous as ex stopped all contact when she found out about me. I was not the OW. I met DH long after they split up, they were not married.
During the court hearing and out of the blue, she phones me and wants a agreement over contact that we can put before the judge. The suggestion she gave was what DH had wanted. The judge stamped the order.
My gut was telling me that as long as DH played by her rules, all would be ok but if he stepped out of line, all hell would break loose.

Contact was great for the next 3 years. We got DSD more than the court order stated. I became ex "new best friend" and DH and I played her game.

Last month, DH made a geniune mistake over drop off and she went nuts, calling DH every name under the son. DH had had enough and told her so. Yes, contact was stopped, all attempts at communication were stopped.

About 3 hours ago, she came to our door and said she wanted to sort it out. Like a fool, I let her in.
I cannot believe what happened next and even as I write this I feel that I will wake up from a dream.

She proceded to tell us if we take her back to court, she will say DH was abusing DSD. She said that even though it is not true the fallout will affect our own DS. She said she will go to SS with these claims and will say she has real fears for my DS as well. She will go to the police and ensure our DS is removed from our home until an investigation is completed. She said she will tell SS that was why she stopped contact. She is a teacher and knows what do. I thought DH was going to go for her. She was calm, not shouting, screaming, just very calm and smiled through it all.

I cannot believe this is happening, I cannot even find the words to describe it. After she said this, it is all a haze, she walked out our home them. What do we do? What happens. I am really scared now.

I have changed my name

[Ledkr]

What does she want you to do?
Are your chikdren old enough to be spoken to by experts to get the truth?

[Ledkr]

Police and sw are usually good at seeing through a vindictive ex.

[FlossyMoo]

You need to contact the police. You need to ring 101 and log all this while it is fresh in your minds.

Have no further contact with her but keep all messages/voicemails ect.

Hopefully this police will advise you of the next step. If not I would imagine it would be SS who you contact.

She is making very harmful threats in a bid to stop contact.

Can I ask what was the mix up at drop off?

[scarlettandrhett]

i am terrified that she goes to the police and SS. We have done nothing wrong but could they take our DS away while they investigate her allegations. If we dont take her back to court over contact, she wont make these untrue allegiations. My DS is 10

[LuluJakey1]

Ring the police and social services now.

[financialwizard]

Holy moley. I can't offer any more words of wisdom than already said but wow what a piece of work.

Just want to wish you strength at this time I know how stressful this must be (my exh was similar).

[financialwizard]

Holy moley. I can't offer any more words of wisdom than already said but wow what a piece of work.

Just want to wish you strength at this time I know how stressful this must be (my exh was similar).

[TheBatteriesHaveRunOut]

Say you want to meet again in person to discuss it and record the entire conversation.

[RitzyTurnip]

I would log this with 101 and SS now.

If I've read it right, your DS is 10 so your DSD is older? She would be old enough to tell the truth that nothing has happened.

[onedev]

How old is your DSD? Assuming she's older than your DS, then surely she'll just tell the truth?

What was the mix up over - anything that could be used against you?

I'd second contacting 101 & telling them about the threat & asking their advice.

[RitzyTurnip]

Can you text or email her about the conversation today?

Hopefully she will trip up so you have it in writing that she's willing to make false allegations against you if you don't stop contact.

[scarlettandrhett]

my DSD is 12. DH wants to go to the police but I am terrfied. SS have a remove now and ask questions later policy. I cannot put my own DS through this.
DH made the mistake of pick up time and was going to be 30 mins late

[jonicomelately]

Ring the Police immediately and tell them exactly what has happened. She has committed a criminal offence.

[BCBG]

I agree with all of above, Starting with this thread as evidence. She has committed a criminal offence - one of blackmail. I agree about taping her but I don't know how you can get her to repeat the threat without her sussing what you are trying to do.

[Badvoc123]

Log this with 111 and SS now.

[PinkSquash]

Call the police and log the threat before his ex decides to call first. She sounds unstable and probably is trying to cover her own arse.

[RandomMess]

I think at 10 and 12 then the dc would be listened to.

[CatsCantTwerk]

You need to ring the police and ss NOW, not in the morning or on monday but RIGHT NOW.

[RunningOutOfIdeas]

As others have written, you really do need to go the police. But you must not tell her that you have reported her.

Remember SS can only remove a child with a court order.

[wheresthelight]

ring the police and have this logged immediately. social services do not have a remove and ask questions later policy and as has been said have a unique ability to see through vindictive ex's.

I would also ring your GP on Monday and discuss this with them so it is logged. they cam do a full physical examination of your ds which will show that you have done nothing wrong. then contact a solicitor and have it logged with them also.

cease all verbal communication and from this point on everything goes on email.

in fact send her an email saying something along the lines of "as per discussion of (date) just to confirm you are threatening x,y,z should we go to court."

you need to protect yourselves and dsd - do not fail to act out of fear!!! report because if she gets their first it will be harder to deal with

[scarlettandrhett]

I hear what you all say and the reasonable, intelligent side of me agrees but the mum in me is terrified that my DS will be questioned and asked things no 10 year old should have to hear.
She has won, i am not putting my child through this. Even if we go to the police and SS, my son will need to answer some pretty explicit questions. No I cant do that. She has won