what is the next step?

[motherofanearlyfouryearold]

Very frustrated!

My SD is 14. In January her mum had a stroke and is now very poorly. When her mum first became I'll, SD decided to stay with her maternal grandparents (me and her don't have the best relationship, she is very resentful of me and her mum was never that fond of her seeing/spending time with her dad).

The idea was that her mum would get better and the status quo would resume. G/parents assured my dp contact would carry on as normal.

BUT. Do last saw his daughter in February. He has text her every week asking would she like to see him, all texts/calls have been ignored (the only contact she has made is a phone call asking what he was getting her for her birthday).

Do has decided that she should live with us and has had the court papers here for months but isn't very proactive about filling them in.

I don't think I need advice but just wanted to moan I suppose.

[should]

Your DP can't "just decide" your SD is going to live with you!

If she's 14 and ignoring his phone calls then evidently she doesn't want to see him. Does he have any idea what the reason for this might be?how was their relationship back in February?

The poor girl must be in a right mess with her mum being so ill. I imagine on top of that living with you full time (as you said you didn't get on) would be the last thing she'd want.

I think your dp needs to approach this one very sensitively.

[motherofanearlyfouryearold]

He thinks it's what everyone wants. I have tried to explain that she doesn't have positive feelings for me and I don't have for her ( she has been very unpleasant towards me and although I know she is a child, I don't nessassery feel that comfortable around her).

He says their relationship was as good as it could be and cannot understand why she is now ignoring him.

He thinks he can just move her in and cannot understand why this is possibly not the best solution at the moment.

[should]

He sounds like he's taking advantage of the mothers ill health to annex a child who doesn't want to see him. Hopefully his dd will give her honest opinion. If she wants to move in then fine, but if she doesn't she needs to say she doesn't and he needs to respect that.

Why does he think she doesn't answer his phone calls?

[should]

If he's desperate to do this why isn't he filling in the court papers? Does he maybe think he should have her, but actually doesn't want to?

[WakeyCakey45]

My understanding is that Social Services should be involved if a DC is living with an adult, even a related adult, who does not have parental responsibility.

Are the school, family doctor etc aware of your DSD living arrangements? There is an assumption she will live with a parent unless there is reason for the authorities to believe she'd be at risk.