I hate my step kids!

(1000 Posts)
Tappergirl Wed 30-Jul-14 23:07:26

They live with us full time, are parasites, and have ruined my relationship with my husband. Now though, I blame it on him for being spineless and taking every spat as my fault. I dont want to walk away but I can not see another option :-(

Haggisfish Wed 30-Jul-14 23:09:38

Surely that is your only option? Poor kids.

backbystealth Wed 30-Jul-14 23:10:38

I'm praying this is a wind up

HeyBungalowBill Wed 30-Jul-14 23:11:59

I don't see why this would be a wind up?

Oh dear.

Horribly toxic situation. It does sound like your only option is to leave if you despise your partner and hate his kids.

Devora Wed 30-Jul-14 23:13:47

All children are parasites, so take that as read. How old are these particular parasites? How long have you lived as a family? What have you tried to help repair the situation?

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey Wed 30-Jul-14 23:13:56

It's not a wind up.

This is a result of an on going battle where the dh has offered no support to his wife.

I remember your threads tapper hope your ok.

Tappergirl Wed 30-Jul-14 23:15:00

No wind up, try being a step parent. They are 18 and 17 not litte ones. The blame lies with their father, give me a bit of leeway. Taking on teens with no kids of your own is a nightmare believe me. Especially when the husband becomes a spineless shit :-(

Devora Wed 30-Jul-14 23:16:00

At that age, is the end in sight? ARe they planning to leave home any time soon?

Patrickstarisabadbellend Wed 30-Jul-14 23:16:57

Walk away.

If someone felt and spoke like that about my children I would be devastated. No matter what they had done.

I repeat. Walk away.

NickiFury Wed 30-Jul-14 23:17:02

You need to leave him. You sound like you're unravelling tbh and that's no good for anyone affected by your current set up.

Boomeranggirl Wed 30-Jul-14 23:21:12

What's happened Tapper?

Tappergirl Wed 30-Jul-14 23:25:58

Patrick and Nick, get a degree in life matters. All I hear on this board is walk away. That is not easy, when you have built a life, home and many memories together. Celebs do that which is fickle in my eyes. You cant just leave. Fr me at least it would be devasting. I am crying writing this. Some of you are so heartless. Btw, they are not KIDS.

NickiFury Wed 30-Jul-14 23:27:44

It's not being "heartless". You're constantly posting about this situation and it sounds like you're going to have a breakdown (if you haven't already).

You use the word kids in your title, hence people using it.

Tappergirl Wed 30-Jul-14 23:30:59

Boomerang, it's same old, same old. I bite my tongue for a couple of weeks after the initial storm has passed (regular occurrence) ten say something whilst not biting tongue and all of a sudden it is my fault again. Problem is his kids are ganging up against me as husband puts on a very good sob sto

Maybe83 Wed 30-Jul-14 23:32:13

The situation is toxic for all involved.

Maybe you dh isn't supportive but i really get he impression you can't stand the sight of them from your posts. Even normal teenage behaviours you view as a plan to offend.

If I was living with some one who clearly disliked and resented my children so much I think my natural reaction would be gravitate to them in support rightly or wrongly. The constant arguing and disagreement would burn out most relationships now matter how happy they have been previously.

Leave or get them to leave be happy by yourself live the life you want and don't spend it being eaten up with anger and resentment. You have the right to not want to share your life with two teenager he equally has the right to want to. The goal posts have changed that doesn't make you right and him wrong.

DiaDuit Wed 30-Jul-14 23:32:32

OP i have to say i agree with others. You regularly post that you are leaving and this is it, it's over, he's welcome to his kids etc and then you dont and the cycle repeats again and again. I think you have to at some point make a decision one way or the other. This is a torturous cycle and not just for you. For your DH aswel. Maybe take some temporary space from him and the SDCs and see how you feel after a few weeks apart.

Tappergirl Wed 30-Jul-14 23:35:43

Sorry, sob stry and alienates them against me, whereby they won't talk to me thinking that I have hurt their dad. Seen trough that now and told him his sex life has gone out of the window due to how he treats me. Funny he hasn't spoken to me in 3 hours now. Don't give a damn anymore, he is a selfish bar steward!

You've stuck it out and it still doesn't work. Leaving wouldn't be fickle. In fact staying, suffering and inflicting more pain, seems to be the less commendable option in this case. No one would judge you if you left, except may be yourself.

You've stuck it out and it still doesn't work. Leaving wouldn't be fickle. In fact staying, suffering and inflicting more pain, seems to be the less commendable option in this case. No one would judge you if you left, except may be yourself.

Fairenuff Wed 30-Jul-14 23:42:13

What do you want to do about it OP?

EthicalPickle Wed 30-Jul-14 23:48:02

Have you ever read back all your old threads and really 'listened' to what you write? If you genuinely mean what you are writing then I don't understand what you are hanging around for. sad It would be too much drama and angst for me.

theendoftheendoftheend Wed 30-Jul-14 23:51:48

I havn't read any of your threads. You sound like idiotic teenagers that are more interested in a toxic relationship then what would benefit all those involved. And yes, the DC do trump you and your DP. Massively. They didn't choose this. You did.

This thread is not accepting new messages.