Dh wants to pay more maintenance

(34 Posts)
TheMumsRush Thu 26-Jun-14 10:28:02

But Exgf doesn't wan him to,why could this be? Any thoughts?

TheMumsRush Thu 26-Jun-14 14:32:15

Thank, he is a good dad, they are good kids and are fab big siblings to ds.

alwaystryingtobeafriend Thu 26-Jun-14 16:24:22

If my DP wanted to pay more than what he should I would rather he saved it for the kids- their mum is very frivolous and I know we could put the money to better use than she can. Xx

wheresthelight Thu 26-Jun-14 23:41:50

Hey mums do you think she could be taking it as him saying she isn't providing properly?

I would suggest that if she is adamant she wonwon't take the extra could your dh pay it into the kids accounts and call it their allowance?

AdoraBell Thu 26-Jun-14 23:51:04

Sorry, haven't read through, but if he wants to pay more and she isn't willing to accept it he could put the excess into a savings account for the DC for when they are older.

DoingItForMyself Thu 26-Jun-14 23:55:03

I long for the day when I don't rely on exH's contribution to my household, I'd love to be able to provide for my DCs without feeling beholden to him and without having him question how this is spent and refusing to buy them anything when they're with him because "that's what I pay all that money to your mum for", while spending money on treats for himself and then pleading poverty.

I'd also wonder if he started paying me more if at meant he would have them to stay for fewer nights, meaning a higher CSA amount. Could that be an issue?

TheMumsRush Fri 27-Jun-14 07:19:31

No it's nothing to do with over night, he'd have them more if he could. It doesn't go through csa, it's a private arrangement. It really it just a case of him wanting to feel he's providing what is affordable to him. DH has never worried that she doesn't provide for them, it's nothing to do with the care. Last night I suggested the account thing and he seemed to think that was a good idea. smile

Don't get me wrong, it's not all been plain sailing, we've had a few bumps along the way but we are all in a good place right now. I think DH is happy in he feels he's doing all he can at this time (hopefully move closer to be around kids more) and things are calm grin

wheresthelight Fri 27-Jun-14 19:29:14

Mums sorry I wasn't suggesting that he thought she didn't provide properly but that she might think that is what he is trying to say iyswim

I think the account is definitely the best way to go for now

Happybeard Sun 29-Jun-14 08:23:12

I wouldn't take more either. I would assume it was some kind of power play. If she gets used to the money he could pull it at any time.

Also, she may feel she has enough. If ex suggested this pahahahaaa I wouldn't accept it and would suggest he put it in savings account for dd.

Alita7 Sun 29-Jun-14 23:54:24

My opinion is that a certain amount of money would go on the kids and then there would be some left over, maybe the ex is actually being honest and her child benefit, any tax credits and her income as well as the current maintenance is more than enough to meet their needs and provide treats and extras so any more money would only increase what she could spend on her self or mean the kids get spoilt?

I would love to be in a position for dp to be able to give enough maintenance and have enough left over to afford expensive days out or holidays with the kids as well as building up trust funds. How abouy putting the money towards benefitting the kids in your time with them? You could also pay for better clubs or tutoring instead?

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